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Tue Dec 18, 2012, 10:33 PM

Well, it happened today. :(

I'm still new to this site and even more so to this forum. I've posted about my son, and have gotten nothing but support, and for that I thank you.

I posted the other day that almost every day I fear a phone call, whether my son getting hurt by another child, or him hurting another. Well, I got that phonecall today. My son suffers from several diagnoses. High function autism, ADHD, schizophrenia, social disorder, and acts of rage.

He goes to a school for mentally disabled children, autism, Down syndrome, and other learning disabilities. It is a private school and has been a godsend that we enrolled him last year with 9 weeks left.

Today, he chased a boy down, tackled him and got 3-4 hits in before the teacher was able to get him off. I do know this is not the first incident between my son and this other child. I do not lay any blame on the other child as he doesn't realize what he is doing is angering my son. My son doesn't like loud noises and the other boy likes to yell in my sons ear. Today my son snapped, chased him down threw him down to the ground and got 3-4 hits in before the teacher intervened. He knew immediately afterwards what he did was wrong, he said he couldn't control, or remember what happened though and was very sorry. My son was suspended for a week, and we were told that if this happens again, our son would have to find another school. I don't disagree with the punishment as the school has to protect not just my son but others as well.

My son cried harder than I have ever seen him cry before today. Not because he got in trouble, but because he hurt another kid, he think we are disappointed in him, and is afraid he won't be able to go back to this school. He was wailing, I sorry, I don't mean to be this way. My heart is broken for him.

His counseler came to our house so we could calm him down and try to find ideas to possibly prevent this in the future. He can feel himself getting angry, we ask why don't you go to the teacher, he doesn't think they will help him, or he will get in trouble. So after we calmed him down this was our idea. Whenever you feel yourself getting angry, ring a bell or buzzer that we will give him as a necklace or bracelet. We are hoping this will do one of two things. Give a 3-4 second roadblock prior to him loosing control and maybe help him think things through, and two signal the students and teachers that he either needs to go cool down or be beside a teacher.

I feel totally heartbroken for my son. But I will not shy away from this. His own words today, I am his hero, his safe place, his love in this life. His said his greatest fear is failing and disappointing me. I cannot, and will not fail him.

Now for the question. Our idea, I think is a good idea. My wife was worried that a bell or buzzer will be a distraction. This isn't the case, as told to us by the teachers, and hopefully it won't always be needed and phased out in time. Has anyone else have any experiance or other ideas for him. He can tell when he is in control and when he is about to loose control. Any input, advice, is greatly needed and even more appreciated.

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Reply Well, it happened today. :( (Original post)
Separation Dec 2012 OP
elleng Dec 2012 #1
fizzgig Dec 2012 #2
Separation Dec 2012 #3
GreenPartyVoter Dec 2012 #4

Response to Separation (Original post)

Tue Dec 18, 2012, 11:25 PM

1. Sorry this happened, Separation,

and glad you are here.

I have no experience with such, but as teachers say your solution won't be a distraction, and your son can feel himself getting angry, trying this may give him a sense of control over things in his life, and may be a good step.

Best of luck.

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Response to Separation (Original post)

Tue Dec 18, 2012, 11:36 PM

2. my heart aches for your son

i wish i had some advice for you, but your idea sounds like a good one.

it sounds like he's got some good parents taking care of him. peace to you and yours

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Response to Separation (Original post)

Wed Dec 19, 2012, 06:55 PM

3. Thanks

I'm hoping this will help. More bad news, just got a letter in the mail today that his psychiatrist is closing her doors down on the 27th. No reason given, time to hit the street again to find another.

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Response to Separation (Reply #3)

Thu Dec 20, 2012, 03:14 PM

4. Ouch! Such a tough time for your family right now. I think you had a brilliant idea, though,

about having a warning signal for people to respect (and to alert the teacher with.)

I wish my kiddos would do that. They tell me that I frequently miss out on what is going on (usually horseplay that got out of control, but also taunting until the other one snaps) and I wind up cleaning up the mess instead of sorting it out ahead of time. But I am often focused on whatever I am doing, and since I am hard of hearing I don't always hear when words turn harsh until they are reallllly loud.

I hope your son recovers from this heartache soon, and that you find a new p-doc really soon!

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