Ugh!!

[silentwarrior]

::-ugh...just my luck

On the way to see my T and whom should be sitting on the same bus as me?

Yes, Her, the woman that my ex was cheating on with me! barfy

I remained calm but unsettled. after having a good day yesterday, seeing Her has made
me so low in mood.
She smiled at me but blushed. Then after getting off the bus, she had the audacity to ask if
I was ok? cry barfy

How do I handle my anger? My T did not have time to go into this as we went over time.
will have to wait for 2 wks till i see T again.

Please help, i want to explode with anger but all i can do is cry cry

[elleng]

1. Cry is an ok explosion, and if you've got pillows around and want a physical gesture,

go for them. And/or write, if that helps you.
SORRY. 'At least' she blushed.

[silentwarrior]

4. what pisses me off

the most is, stupid me introduced my ex to Her while
at a coffee shop!!

[elleng]

5. NOT stupid, you were being nice, social,

and your ex did the wrong thing. NO WAY you could have expected it.

[silentwarrior]

7. I should have known

better though. He always had an eye for the women.

[Denninmi]

2. That's rough.

But, I think it's better to deal with it than let it fester.

I do a lot of self-analysis between weekly appts, it helps.

Try not to think only of the problem, but a solution. Maybe it's foregiveness, maybe it's forgetting. One thing that helps me is finding an alternative outlet for my anger. For me, it's working out, could be something else for others, maybe art, or yoga, or whatever.

Hope that helps a little.

[silentwarrior]

6. I can normally forgive

and not to hold grudges, but just seeing that woman
today made my blood boil.

I have been working for 7 months in dealing with this grief.

[HereSince1628]

3. The guy who cuckolded me had a book and a BBC documentary made about him

and now every documentary about nature and life in the upper Mississippi has to feature him in a segment.

The best thing about it is that it reinforces my avoidance of PBS fund-raising.

[silentwarrior]

8. That must suck

big time?

[HereSince1628]

9. I'm really beyond him and my ex, however I may never be over

how my family embraced him. That still twists my knickers, after years. Somehow it's rubbing a still painful early wound.

When my mother died, my siblings presented me with a bundle full of letters that Kenny had sent to my parents, and that my mother had saved.

Apparently the cuckolder worked his way into a close relationship with them. The letters and cards repeatedly stated they were better than his own parents. He thanked my mother for the christmas and birthday cards and mentionded exchanges of presents and visits over the ~8 years between my divorce and my maternal chromosome sources death.

My mother had sent him, the guy that cuckolded me, presents and cards and had gone to northwestern WI to visit him and my ex who was apparently the type of daughter they wanted but didn't get--during the same period in which I wasn't notified, and found out by chance months after, that my father had died. My siblings thought my parents relationship with this cuckolder was a great thing.

So during the wake, my siblings gathered around to present me with those letters...apparently wanting to see my face when they dropped that bomb on me. THAT twisted me, left me feeling they had purposefully attempted to hurt me.

Still does for that matter.

The therapists all said it's just my illness making me feel that way...they recommended doing deep breathing, smelling vanilla room spray, and practicing right mindfulness...there is no injustice in the world, it's just the heightened sensitivity of neural nets in my frontal lobe.

[silentwarrior]

10. Some Therapists

dont make any sense to me.

That must be so painful for you to bear?

I had a long discussion with my mother last night regarding my ex
and I had to tell her to "shut up"! All she seemed to do was to defend
him, saying, "well, he must have had an awful childhood"?

And she refuses to throw the letters in the trash that were sent to her from
my ex.

Who"s side is she on?