I am so ashamed. And I am a cutter.

[a la izquierda]

There's generally no trigger. I am just depressed. Counseling has proven worthless.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. ...

[NYC_SKP]

2. I can only offer hugs.

I have one friend with the same tendency. It's not anything I feel able to help about but I send you best wishes and good vibes.

[a la izquierda]

10. Thanks! I feel much better today.

I am currently under a huge pile of stress. It'll work itself out.

I love the image of that little girl in your signature line.

[NYC_SKP]

11. She makes me smile, too. She's called the bubble girl.

She has that expression of pure fun and exhilaration that seems to be more and more rare as folks age, but it doesn't have to be so.

We all have a bit of her inside!

[ZombieHorde]

3. That is nothing to be ashamed of.

Everyone has a release of some sort when they need it.

[a la izquierda]

4. I feel like it is supremely embarrassing.

I am a successful person. But I hide this from everyone (husband included, though he's really just oblivious I think).

Sorry, I need to vent.

[siligut]

5. Have you considered Dialectical Behavior Therapy?

http://natashatracy.com/mental-illness-issues/self-harm/stopping-self-harm-urges-dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt/

And please don't feel ashamed

[a la izquierda]

6. Funny that it is helpful for people with BPD.

I have been diagnosed with that, plus body dismorphic disorder. It's awesome.

Thanks for the link.

[siligut]

7. People with BPD tend to be cutters

BPD is so hard on a person, but I have read and heard very positive results from DBT. I live in the PNW and Marsha Linehan did her study here and helped set-up clinics for it. If you are so inclined, you could also study Buddhism, as DBT is the secular version of Buddhism. DBT may not be available in all areas and insurance may not pay for it, but Buddhism is generally available and the cost is minimal.

[BainsBane]

8. Have you tried Dialectical Behavior Therapy?

An adherent program? It can be very effective treatment.

[NYC_SKP]

9. Seconding this advice. DBT is good stuff.

[undergroundpanther]

12. I'm a cutter too

Don't beat yourself up over it a lot of people cut.I have ptsd and did..sometimes when there are cuts I have no clue who did it. I cut to control overwhelming emotions,to feel like I exist and to prevent suicide.
My therapist knows,she knows why,and she does not just go and sock me in the hospital if it happens. But we do talk about it and because she does not kneejerk react,I feel safe telling her when and why I have cut. Because of her acceptance of it,I find I do it less. It takes a long time to heal,at least in my situation.

[a la izquierda]

13. Thank you for sharing this.

I think part of my shame is that everyone sees someone so in control, and it's the very stress of that image that makes me so...tired.

[mopinko]

14. shame is a waste.

but it is a frightening thing. i have 2 daughters with mental health issues and both did this for a while. i don't think either on does it now, but i don't know.
it is a heartbreaking thing to look at for someone who loves you, and i am sure that would include you.
your hubby might could use a bop in the head, tho. can't think of too many lonelier things that suffering before someone's eyes, and having them not see.

do what you need to take care of your self.

[fizzgig]

15. please do not be ashamed

i cut when i was younger and still engage in self-harm when i have an episode. you are not alone. my best to you