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Wed Jul 3, 2013, 12:54 PM

So, I have a plan to deal with some upcoming dates that bother me.

I've always been observant of anniversaries, good or bad.

I have some whoppers coming up here this summer/fall. All bad. Very bad. Not very happy memories of last year.

And, I have a plan. A combination of confrontation, diversion, following a different path.

Some, I may confront by reliving them to an extent, with a very different outcome.

One in particular, September 11, which also the personal September 11th of my life, I intend to confront by following a very different path.

On the afternoon of 9/10 last year, I had to go downtown to work, and I pretty much bawled my eyes out the entire time. I felt like it was the "last day" I would ever be accepted into "normal" society, that my life was over after that day ended, and as much as I hated it, that day, and the fear and anxiety and grief, because that is what it was, grief for what I thought I was going to lose, life as I knew it, I didn't want it to end. So, I cried, a lot, when I was alone, driving. Even fought back the tears when I was doing what I had to do at the court - I guess if anyone noticed me, they would probably have just thought I was doing a probate for a recently deceased close loved one. Then, I wandered around downtown and took photos of the sites - the RenCen, Canada across the river, Hart Plaza, Woodward Avenue, the Spirit of Detroit sculpture, the Coleman Young Center, Cobo Hall, etc. Then I drove home and had a big meltdown.

So, this year on 09/10, I plan on driving downtown, making an afternoon of it, and having some fun. I'll go to the GM exhibit in the visitor's center of the RenCen, and then take the glass elevator up to 70, the penthouse floor, and spend a little while taking photos from the observation deck. Then, wander around to the other places I was at, take some pictures, maybe do a little shopping in the cool small shops that line Congress Street, After that, I think I'll go to Campus Martius and have a late lunch at a really great bistro there I stumbled on to a while back - has to be the grilled wild caught salmon with the sorrel cream sauce, haricots vertes, and tiny new potatoes very, very crisp fried in duck fat.

Then, on 9/11, at 8:30 in the morning, which was the time I had to "report" to where I would spend 3 weeks, unhappily, I plan on hitting the road on my bike for a several-day bike tour of the Thumb of Michigan, with only what I can carry on my back to survive on -- already bought a cool, tiny tent that is about the size of a roll of paper towels and a little over 2 lbs.

THAT is how I intend to deal with it, making new, happy memories. It takes power, courage, and strength to "get over it" when the "it" was something you find very traumatic. And those are qualities I discovered I have in spades.

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Reply So, I have a plan to deal with some upcoming dates that bother me. (Original post)
Denninmi Jul 2013 OP
elleng Jul 2013 #1
Denninmi Jul 2013 #2
elleng Jul 2013 #3
Denninmi Jul 2013 #4
elleng Jul 2013 #5
libodem Jul 2013 #6
Locut0s Jul 2013 #7

Response to Denninmi (Original post)

Wed Jul 3, 2013, 01:08 PM

1. Great idea, Den.

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Response to elleng (Reply #1)

Wed Jul 3, 2013, 01:10 PM

2. Thanks.

The only wrinkle in my plan is the scheduling of the surgery. They are talking late Aug or early Sept. I don't know how easy this is to book, I may ask them to postpone a few weeks -- I been living with this for years, it's not like a week or two will make a difference.

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Response to Denninmi (Reply #2)

Wed Jul 3, 2013, 01:18 PM

3. IF you're thinking of asking them to postpone,

I suggest you ask them NOW, give them as much time as possible to adjust their schedules.

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Response to elleng (Reply #3)

Wed Jul 3, 2013, 01:33 PM

4. Well, I have to wait a few weeks.

It's not scheduled yet, pending some more tests in mid July. I am supposed to schedule after that, the coordinator told me they schedule about 4-6 weeks out. So, yes, I will talk to them about it ASAP.


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Response to Denninmi (Reply #4)

Wed Jul 3, 2013, 01:57 PM

5. Good, ASAP.

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Response to Denninmi (Original post)

Wed Jul 3, 2013, 05:05 PM

6. Good to have a plan

Love it that you are so proactive in your recovery. A man, with a plan.

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Response to Denninmi (Original post)

Fri Jul 5, 2013, 12:53 AM

7. Fantastic idea Denninmi, a plan is SO important when dealing with trauma...

Otherwise you risk having it overwhelm you again. And that is a fantastic plan. Focus on the present and the future, not the past.

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