Need advice about how to deal wtih a friend who has been diagnosed as having paranoia.

[snagglepuss]

I very recently rekindled a friendship from high school. Two weeks ago she was diagnosed with paranoia by a pyschiatrist she just started seeing. When she is telling me about her paranoid fantasies, I don't know whether I should simply listen or respond by telling her that she must not give in to paranoia.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[fizzgig]

1. i dealt with this with my husband for several months

and i never found a good way to deal with it outside of anger (i wasn't in a good place myself). pointing out how illogical the paranoia is didn't help and i wound up getting frustrated because it was the most absurd nonsense.

good luck to you and your friend.

[olddots]

2. very tuff question

she should be telling her therapist about the fantasies but you can help her by not giving her the sense that she is crazy and damaged goods .....listen ,don't judge ,don't roll your eyes or laugh ..be there as a set of ears that understand ,The therapist's job is to help sort things out and move forward so any advice you give could be misinterpreted or taken negatively . Listen and don't condescend because you care for free and that really helps .


edited because I'm functionally literate

[Denninmi]

3. I think it depends on her attitude, too.

If she is seeing a doctor, and wants to confront her problems and deal with them, it might be ok to gently tell her not to let the paranoia take her places she shouldn't go. I would test the waters extremely gently, though. I was pretty paranoid last year about what could happen to me -- things that were only remote hypotheticals seemed not inevitable but certainly possible, even if only remotely possible. And, it was rough because people kept telling me, in essence, that I was being irrational. Which irritated me, because I knew my fears were irrational, but that was irrelevant because they were still nearly debilitating. What I really wanted was for someone to just say "everything will be OK" -- ironic, several here on DU did that for me, for which I was very grateful. In real life, good luck with that from the people who should have been there for me. So, if all you can do is listen, do that.

[snagglepuss]

4. Thanks for the insightful post. In the right circumstances the line about not

letting the paranoia take her to places she shouldn't go could be helpful. I will definitely take your advice to assure that everything will be okay.

[hunter]

5. Paranoia is a big part of my natural unmedicated state.

I become a feral human, skittish and distrustful of others.

Only a few people have been able to draw me out of that and it's never been anyone who told me that I "must not give in to the paranoia."

I had a paleontology professor who invited me along for some field work after I'd been asked to leave school a second time. He eventually helped me get back into school and graduate.

It was always things like that, people who accepted me as I was, never the mean or well-meaning people shaking me up and telling me to get hold of myself, put a smile on my face, or whatever latest Social Darwinist fad was.

[Denninmi]

6. Yup.

They minimize the fear you feel. To me, the fear of ending up in the Cass Corridor with the hookers and meth addicts seemed very possible given the totality of my circumstances. One thing I found ironic - at the hospital, they talked about all of the support they could offer - social workers, groups, etc. yet no one ever asked me if I wanted or needed it. In hindsight, a big plus, had I gone down that road I would have been buying into the whole mental illness has the better of me thing. They kept telling me my fears were irrational, but really didn't even offer to help me make them go away.

The fear was, and some still is, real to me. I guess maybe fear of a remotely possible hypothetical isn't the same, quite, as fear of an impossibility. But the fear is real to the afflicted person.