I have reached a monumental decision in all of this. I am going to proactively out myself ...

[Denninmi]

... About my mental health diagnosis and history. As you know, my biggest fear has been having someone find out about my problems. I feared being branded, labeled. I think that was a very irrational fear. Everyone has problems.

I have a core group of about 10 people of true significance in my life. I intend to tell each of them exactly what happened. In full detail. They can then choose to do with this information what they wish. And I will deal with that, their reactions, one way or the other.

Either way, it will be done. And I can move on.

I think I have shown to myself and the world what I am really made of, kind, solid, strong. And I think I will be judged on the quality of my character.

I believe that this will go well on every front. And will ultimately make my relationships stronger. And it will replace fear with peace.

I do not fully yet understand why I felt I had to be so ashamed of having a mental health issue. I didn't do anything to cause any of this, things were done to me. It is in no way a moral or intellectual failing to admit that you are human and need help, the good among us know this, only the ignorant or the truly evil would believe otherwise. We all need help at times, we are all a little broken. When faced with another human being in that position, you can embrace the good in yourself and do what you can to help, even if that is just a kind word, or the lowest among us will do what they do, mock and ridicule, tear down, because it makes them feel just a little less inadequate, as if adding to the pain in the world will somehow bring them salvation.

I have PTSD. It causes anxiety, depression, very low self worth. I have proven myself worthy time age again in the past 14 months. I was brutalized, traumatized when I should have been comforted. And I survived it all, and I am still here, with the same hopes and dreams as anyone. I intend to have the kind of life I always deserved.

There are two types of people, good and evil. I have seen so much good here, people who listen, who learn about what they do not know so that they can understand, people who are willing to set aside prejudices and fears to do the right thing. As Liberals, we understand that it isn't about tearing down, it isn't about winners and losers, it is about building up so that everyone can be elevated. Peace and light, those are the goals.

With all my love to my great many friends. Namaste.

[NYC_SKP]

1. .

I think you speak for many of us, Denninmi.

[BlueStreak]

2. I think most people understand that PTSD is a serious problem and not a personal weakness

I bet those close to you already are aware and will be very supportive of you. Don't be afraid to talk about it.

PTSD is not weak character. It is a sign that a person has character -- Being affected by events or service is not a sign of weakness. it is a sign of humanity.

[Denninmi]

3. I have come to.learn that no MI is a character anything.

It just is what it is, a condition. And it affects across the entire human spectrum, from saint to sinner.

[BlueStreak]

4. And it is a continuum in most cases

Pancreatic cancer either is or isn't there. You either have a heart attack or you don't. Mental conditions, in most cases, are a question of extremes. We all have a range of emotions. We all have some things we are mentally better at than other things. Variation is normal. That's what makes this a difficult field. How do you know when a condition is beyond a normal range?

The professionals in the field are able to determine that, but most of us aren't trained to know these things. I believe that is what caused the stigma of "mental illness". That is such a vague term, and in many cases, it is that a person is only somewhat out of what we would call the normal range. In other cases, the results are very severe.

We see the same things with dyslexia, attention disorder, or autism. In many cases it is only slightly out of the "normal" range, or a person may not demonstrate the symptoms in obvious ways. So some people tend to think these diagnoses are exaggerated or made up, even though they may be very real for the person experiencing them.

I guess what I am saying is that many people still attach a stigma, but I think most people are coming to understand these can be real conditions that need real care. And I bet everyone close to you will want to make sure you are getting all the care you need to deal with this.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. I applaud your decision, my dear Denninmi!

I think it's a good one. I suspect those close to you will also applaud your taking such a large and healthy step.


I know I do.

[No Vested Interest]

6. It's far easier to lead an open life, than to be consistently

covering up, back-tracking, looking sideways and backwards about what you have wrought.
Covering up, although often understandable, is dishonest in a way.

Not that we need to blast out our problems to every soul that comes along - most aren't that interested or don't have the time or energy to take on another's concerns when they're just struggling to get along everyday themselves.

Too much self-revelation can be, or at least can be seen as, narcissistic.
Having inner peace, knowing that you're doing the best you can with what life has brought to you, is one of life's greatest gifts.

[Jim Lane]

7. You might not keep all 10 in your life, but you'll find out which ones didn't deserve you. (n/t)