I think my meds have fried my brain. Your experience?

[Bertha Venation]

I can't sustain a thought for more than a couple of seconds, can't concentrate on anything. My short-term memory is crap. Just crap. And just now I'm doing my budget and I have to go over every number several times to try to convince myself that it's right, and I'm still not convinced. And I'm using a spreadsheet.

I have taken four psych drugs for about six years.* They work fantastically well. There's been one slight change in all that time that didn't throw me off balance. We've made four other attempts through the years that proved disastrous. Although my psychiatrist and I talk about it on every visit, and she wants very badly to get me off of at least one of these, I don't see a future in getting off any of them.

I can't help but think it is the meds that have fried my brain. Of course I could be wrong - but how to tell? I'm all beshit and forty miles from water.

What's been your experience with meds/brain function?

* I've taken meds for depression for about 30 years

[elleng]

1. Sorry, BV, don't think I can help;

have 'old age' to blame.

Took anti-depressants for 6+ years, which ended about 6 years ago. Things pretty much OK, never much at math, but ability to figure out paths to answers has diminished in past few years.

[mopinko]

2. well, you could get tested

probably a good idea, anyway. neuropsyche testing, they tell me, is best when comparing you to you, instead of comparing you to stats.

take the psyche part w a grain of salt, tho. make sure they are using a new instrument that comports w the latest dsm. there has been substantial change on issues of physical pain.

my testing put my mind at ease somewhat. i still feel like i am getting serious senioritis, but at least i am still well above average.

[Bertha Venation]

9. Mo

I'll consider how to bring up this testing with my psych. I'm wary of telling her I want to try things I've heard from friends.

[steve2470]

3. you might be "overmedicated"

Last edited Sun Jul 26, 2015, 03:55 PM - Edit history (1)

I'd have a frank talk with your doc about it, and neuropsych testing, as mopinko said, is always an option. I have NO idea if you are overmedicated, just a wild ass guess.

[Bertha Venation]

8. Thanks, Steve.

[Tobin S.]

4. My meds haven't had that effect on me.

I've been taking the same stuff for 12 years. Three years ago, I returned to college to finish my degree. I graduated with a 3.952 GPA.

I'm not saying that your meds aren't the problem. They might well be. That's just not been my experience. Everything about my brain works better thanks to medication.

[Bertha Venation]

7. I'm glad

Tobin, I'm glad you've had such a good experience!

[postatomic]

5. Yup. Burnt Toast

It would be easier to tell you what I haven't taken than what I have. There are moments when the very few people that know I've changed meds in the past will tell me how much better I'm doing and I........... don't feel any different. Frustrating. My psych doc has flat out told me that there isn't anything better that I can take. Just different; same results.

I'm fairly confident that my brain function has changed greatly. I have hobbies that include many very complex tasks and when I can't remember something that should be like 'riding a bike' disappears from my thought process it's ....... depressing.

We're all different. Some do fantastic. Others not so much. I hope that you feel better soon. It's a very uncomfortable feeling to think your brain is being cooked. I've come to accept the fact that I'm going to have my brain scrambled a bit until they toss my ashes where ever the fuck they want.



The best thing I ever did was to start using Marijuana daily. It was recommended by my old psych doc. I'm not saying you should try this. Ask you drug pusher doc about it. Some don't react well to it but my creative process is enhanced. Or, I think it's enhanced.



At the risk of sounding like a Walgreens employee; "be well".

[Bertha Venation]

6. I think that's where I am, postatomic -

until they scatter my ashes.

I've thought about pot, but now that I'm looking for a job, it's out of the question. (Besides, I've never used it and wouldn't know how to go about getting it.)

Thanks.



Walgreens -

[postatomic]

10. Are there things that make you feel good?

I'm not talking meds or pot. Pottery, Music, Painting, Feed the birds on the Park Bench. I've done everything I can to train my brain to feel good when I do certain things (hobbies). That's not to say that I don't fall down the friggin' rabbit hole from time to time.

Just a thought. A suggestion.

[Bertha Venation]

12. Oh, yes.

My wife, my family. Music. Cats. Avocados and peaches.

Music can send me. Play Barber's Adagio and I'm gone for hours. Play Copeland and I'm goofy all day. Turn on the classic rock station and then just leave the radio alone, man.

Reading biographies is good whether I'm grooving along ok or in the pit.

I'm fortunate in a lot of ways. Being able to enjoy things from time to time is one of them.

Again:

[olddots]

11. I quit meds seven years ago

to figure out who I was again .Drugs are drugs and they alter us for better and for worse .Maybe rhey can make us feel happy with our "selves" which isn't a good thing if we are kiddinf pirselves and not thinking critically .
I feel the drigs wasted my time and were an easy escape so yes they messed up my mind .I stidied all thw phych meds and never got true imformation other than how they interact with nerotransmitters they still don't have clues about the big picture .

Big business becomes bad business and thats what the happy pill industry has become .We all so desperately want to be happy because we are told we can buy happieness ...why are the richest people so missereable then ?

[Bertha Venation]

13. You have a point about happiness.

I most decidedly do not believe it can be bought.

How have you been since you quit meds? Has your life changed? How about your health?

I need meds to be sane. I don't worry about the big picture. I'm not killing myself, not trashing my life, not living on the street, and not emotionally wrecking everyone I love. This is why I need meds.

[Peace Seeker]

14. Memory

My short term memory has issues. I function and am employed as a cashier/barista/ sandwich maker. The cashiering is okay because I just hit buttons, but if I hit the wrong button, I can't do the simple math under pressure. It makes me feel stupid. The coffee I can remember complicated orders because I can envision them as a whole and not have to remember individual words. With sandwiches, I struggle remembering what customers just said and have to ask everyone to repeat themselves for me. I feel embarrassed.

I feel I really benefit from meds combined therapy, despite the short term memory impairment. The pros outweigh the cons for me.

[Bertha Venation]

15. P.S., for me, too - pros outweigh cons

But I'm about to be employed for the first time in a year, in a (mostly) different line of work. I'm more than a little nervous. Everyone I know tells me not to worry about it, that it'll be fine. This is the only place I can say "Hey! My memory's fucked up and I'm scared as fuck that I won't be able to hold down a job!!"

But other than that, yeah.

[Peace Seeker]

16. Nice to know others feel the same

I have been in food service for a long time. It is really agitating dealing with customers, et c. But I learned how to fake it until I make it long enough so after a year at each job ( I haven't lost) I can be more open and honest about mental health.

I am really inspired to hear you are transferring your line of work. It's something I am so scared to do but want to so badly. I feel insecurities about my capability, my worthiness, my intelligence. And my fucked up memory too.

Thanks for listening- Annette