What can we do to help this girl?

[Bay Boy]

We are in the midwest and she is on the west coast. So distance is a problem. She is a very bright girl, a former computer programmer with a large well known company. But now she is unemployed and homeless, living in her car. She exhibits signs of being a paranoid schizophrenic. She hears voices, 'them' who are 'after her'. She's wrapped her lap top in aluminum foil to stop 'them' from accessing it.
She has money, or at least she had money from her job.

Her grandparents went out there to make contact with her but she wouldn't see them. Her Mother had gone out there and managed to get her committed for three days but she was able to convince the staff that she was OK. And now she won't have any contact with her mother.

My wife and I would like to out there to swoop her up and take her home but I don't know how we could do that if she didn't want to cooperate. We can't even take her home by plane because she has thrown away her driver's license and all other ID because she doesn't want to be 'found by them'. We can only imagine the problems we would encounter by trying to bring her home, against her will, by car.

The last person that she is still in contact with out there says she looks malnourished and unkempt.

We are afraid for her life.

Any suggestions!

[Lil Missy]

1. Pray. It's out of your hands. n/t

[steve2470]

2. as you said, she was able to get out of involuntary commitment

Mentally ill people have civil rights. Unless she is meeting criteria or voluntarily chooses a course of action, there's really nothing you can do except pray or meditate or just keep trying gentle persuasion and maintaining a rapport. Good luck.

[LiberalEsto]

3. Is she a close relative of yours?

If not, you may not have legal standing to do anything. Only her parents, grandparents and siblings would, as far as I know.

You might want to contact the National Alliance for Mental Illness, NAMI. Particularly the state chapter in whichever state she's in, because they would be familiar with commitment procedures and laws. They might be able to advise the mother how best to proceed.

Link:http://www.nami.org/

Good luck!

[postatomic]

4. There isn't much you can do

If it's California there are a few things you can do, but it can be very difficult. You would have to go to court and prove that she is harmful to herself and/or others. You might have to go back to court again if she refuses to take any meds. There are so many people like this woman living on the streets and the system is designed to protect them.... to a point.

The process of convincing her to come back with you could take weeks or even months if she is in full blown Schizophrenia. If you go out there and just throw her in your car what are you going to do with her?

I truly wish I had a magic answer to this problem. Could you go out there and just spend some time with her? From there you could talk with some people that may be able to help you - help her.

Can only imagine what this is doing to you and those that care about her. Be strong. Be patient. I know that's just cliche' bullshit but I've gone through this. It is very very difficult.

All the best to you.

[No Vested Interest]

5. Keep in touch with the person she is still in contact with.

If that person is willing, provide funds for that person to meet as frequently as possible with the young person, for meals at a unfancy restaurant. The contact person, if willing, can take her to non-threatening laces and activities - zoos, parks, movies, etc. - anything to keep the doors of communication open. If the young woman is still unkempt, they could go together to a hair stylist or shopping for presentable, clean clothes.

You and/or the mother and grandparents can provide the funds for these meals and activities to the contact person.

I agree with the suggestion to contact NAMI, especially the branch in her area.

[Bay Boy]

6. Thanks to all for posting.

We will try to stay in contact with the person who she keeps in touch with out there the best we can. He is a former boyfriend and is getting a little worn out with her random drop ins. I'm guessing his new girlfriend isn't fond of knocks on the door at 3am

[No Vested Interest]

7. Random drop-ins at 3 a.m. are not too cool.

OTOH, California is probably as well set up with social services as any place in the US. They likely even have some who go out to the "client" to assess, advocate and hopefully recommend viable choices for someone in this situation.