Good news! I think my daughter is stabilizing.

[momto3]

We upped her dose of geodon and we are watching closely to guarantee that she eats something when she takes her pills. She has not become violent in several days. Now, she is acting like a normal teenager (I think???). Sometimes it is hard to remember that some of the things she does and says are the perfectly normal part of growing up. Everything is always tinted by her disorder.

Since here manifestations are so different than mine, it has been difficult for me to understand the cues. I am trying and think that I am learning. Why doesn't someone invent a handbook for this???????

I am learning to recognize the signs that she is in her dark times, even if she is not abusive. Her room becomes an absolute mess. Dirty clothes and trash piled everywhere. She also refuses to take care of herself. She may only shower once a week, will not comb her hair and will wear dirty clothes day after day. She also has a chronic constipation problem, which results in uncontrollable diarrhea. We have battled this since she was 4 years old. We do not discuss this with anyone - she is very sensitive and embarrassed about it. When she is cycling, she smells. Bad. She refuses to clean herself up. Many times she ends up with UTIs due to the uncleanliness. When I ask her about it, it always turns into a nasty battle.

I have had a major revelation. Once she is in the middle of a cycle, things are such a mess, she cannot figure out how to fix it herself. Most 12 year olds know how to shower or put their laundry in the wash. But, she cannot do this on her own.

I spent all of last weekend, with her help, cleaning her room and bathroom and washing and sorting her clothes. This week, she settled her stomach on her own - no more accidents. She has put her laundry away every day. And, her bedroom is still spotless.

Maybe I should have known this all along. Maybe I am too hard on myself. But, I think we have had a break through, at least for now.

Positive thoughts that this lasts for at least a little while.

[canoeist52]

1. I'm so glad for your good news.

You've brought back so many memories with your story. The wrecked room, shower battles, constipation, enuresis and food issues. My daughter was the same, except that her violence was mostly turned toward herself. Every Prescription that we tried only made her worse (one of which wrecked her joints for 3 months). In the long run. puberty seemed to ease many of her symptoms. She still has anxiety but mostly has learned to control her panic attacks. The good news is that she's 23 now and has become a wonderful woman and seems to be the wisest and most reasonable among her friends.
Hang in there and keep the long view. Help her when she crashes too hard and needs it. You are her rock whether she'll admit it or not.

[Tobin S.]

2. Excellent, mom!

I'm happy to hear the good news.

[elleng]

3. Happy to hear of the progress!

As to the constipation, same problem here. My ob/gyn suggested Docusate sodium after daughter's birth, and been taking it regularly ever since. I take 1 a day. Its a stool softener, not a laxative, and taken regularly, obviates the occasional diarrhea. Easily available at drugstores, and inexpensive 'house brands' available.

[BeHereNow]

4. So happy to hear it-

Treasure the good moments.
BHN

[EFerrari]

5. I'm so glad you two are catching a break.

Hope you get some time to rest and regroup.