Oh HELL- here we go again...

[BeHereNow]

First, let me thank all of you who gave me your love and support
on my "I need support" thread.
You have no idea how much it helps to know you are there,
and understanding of how frustrating it can be.

Long story short- my daughter has not slept for more that four hours at a time
for several days now.

The doctor decided the Risperidol was not benefitting her as he had hoped.
Turned her into a sleep walking zombie, never actually sleeping, just nodding off for brief
periods of time.

We saw him Friday and he put her on a gradually increasing dose of Abilify and
Anterax for possible agitation from the Abilify.

She is not a good candidate for Lunesta, Ambien or drugs of that type, as she
is prone to self medicating and has a high probability of abuse- thus his decision
to introduce Anterax for anxiety.

Well, we stated out at 2mg of Abilify and are trying 10mg tonight.

In the meantime, I see shades of the aggressive/angry/manic person appearing

God help me, I do not want to go through another manic episode with her!
It is so frightening.

On top of it all- she is drinking... 4 beers tonight.

She is very angry about taking medication at the moment.

I asked her- "If it can give you quality of life again, why would you not want that?"

I've been reading up on Abilify- apparently it can worsen insomnia until
the desired dose is reached.

Her GP and her PD have both told her- we don't really know
if these meds will work for you if you are drinking.

I'm scared.

I'm hoping increasing the Abilify will hit the targeted management goal,
but hell- I too, am tired of the medication merry-go-round she is on.

And I wish she would stop the alcohol.

Thanks for listening-
BHN

[elleng]

1. Dear BHN,

[BeHereNow]

2. You have no idea how much I needed that hug...

Thank you Ellen.
BHN

[elleng]

3. You are very welcome, BHN.

This is why we all are here.
Thinking of you both.

[fizzgig]

4. here's another one

[BeHereNow]

7. Thank you friend-

BHN

[EFerrari]

5. What is your thinking about the drinking?

I can see a rationale for banning it from the house and for not doing that.

[BeHereNow]

6. Thin ice, that situation-

She is twenty five and can walk to the store and buy it with her own money.
If I say, you can't drink here, she will go sit in the park and drink- not safe.

We are talking about it gently, every day-
I have seen her being far more conscious about how much she drinks-
and why she drinks.

I think the anti-anxiety drug her doctor put in the mix with the abilify is
helping reduce her need to drink.

Good news is that she went to 10 mg of the Abilify last night and actually
got some sleep-

We took a long hike, had lunch together on the way home and
spent two hours gardening together.

It was a good day-

I know from experience, the worst thing I can say to her is-
"You have to stop drinking." It will only escalate the drinking.

Instead I talk to about the benefits of stopping- and I know she
listens and is thinking it over.

She has cut way back, so I will continue to tell her how great
she looks and how proud I am to see her trying to be healthy-
She really has come a long way, and I hope the Abilify continues to work well
for her.
In the meantime, your love and support are much appreciated...
BHN

[fizzgig]

8. that's good news on the drinking

and i'm glad you two had a good day

[EFerrari]

9. I'm so glad.

With support from the anti-anxiety meds and some SLEEP, hopefully her choices will continue to get better.

[BeHereNow]

10. I think keeping her BUSY is key to her healing-

The long hikes, where we can talk about every thing- massive gardening, fresh air, healthy food;
all these things seem to help. I follow Julie Fast and her suggestions on how to help
a bipolar loved one. Diet, exercise elimination of alcohol and caffein, helping organize her stuff
and figuring out how to take small steps back to the world she lived in before the BP struck
nearly five years ago. It all seems doable at the moment, so I've got to keep working it with her.

She has finally expressed an interest in driving again- and perhaps taking
a class. All good.

In the meantime, I am planning to help her move into our back house, so she feels
more autonomous. She loves to fix her living spaces up, so I'm going to have her paint
and just keep her busy-

I am fortunate that I can take the time off working to do it because she really needs me right now.

And I need the people in this group, like you.
So thank you for being there.

I personally think this is the best group in the DU community.

We are the wounded healers, no?

BHN

[EFerrari]

11. That makes so much sense to me.

Give that creative energy a place to go.

Take care of you, BHN.

[elleng]

12. SO HAPPY to see this, BHN!

Was with my daughter yesterday, so missed reading this. (My daughter has a few similar symptoms, and I so agree that spending time together, doing things, is SO helpful. We had a good day, too.)

[GreenPartyVoter]

13. Oh, man! *hugs* I hope that the right cocktail can be found, and quickly. I think you are handling

the drinking situation the best that you can. Does the doc say whether or not there could be med interactions with the alcohol? (Although to be honest, even when we know something is bad for us it can be so hard to stop. I personally self-medicate with food. A lot of very bad food. Even though both my parents died young from heart attacks.)