I've had more than one break down in the past few days.

[Neoma]

I want to be strong like I used to be before I started showing signs of Bipolar. I want to be resilient, and have no words hurt me. I want to be the person that doesn't have to depend on others so much. I want to be able to not make mistakes. I want to be a type of martyr for the good of others, but I've never thought myself strong enough for that. The first time I heard what that meant, I decided that was the stupidest thing to do. Opinions change, who knew.

But you know, I think it's wrong to wish to be what I was. I have to accept who I am now, because I'll always be myself. Then maybe without even knowing it, I am who I've always been again. Right?

I can have all the wisdom in the world sometimes, and still feel like crap. Welcome to mental illness.

[mopinko]

1. i think life, for everyone, is a balance between

change and acceptance. like the old aa prayer. it's not wrong to wish. it just wont get you anywhere.
i have to watch myself, and not beat my head against every damn thing.

take a rest. get a little extra sleep.
and welcome.

[Tobin S.]

2. I think I know in part what this is about

I've been reading the feminists group for about a week now. That place was a mess and I applaud you for taking a stand and trying to settle everything. I know that there are some people there who don't like you now and that's always tough to handle. You strike me as a gentle soul and that whole situation probably is weighing on you more than it would with someone who likes to fight.

Emotionally charged situations, especially strong negative emotions, can be especially harmful to people who have bipolar disorder. Be kind to yourself and take it easy for a little while.

[Neoma]

3. Yeah, I didn't come here before because I didn't want to bluntly state it.

No one is going to come out of it without getting hurt, and I can't help it. People grab onto hatred and mistrust for too long. History won't ever change, and unfortunately, sometimes their attitudes won't either.

[BeHereNow]

4. You're safe here with us.

As the mother of a BP, may I gently remind you that stress is not a good thing for you.
EAT, SLEEP and be GENTLE with yourself.
Doesn't sound like that group if a good place for you at the moment,
take a break and maybe a warm bubble bath?


BHN

[Odin2005]

5. (((BIG BEAR HUG)))

Love your sig line, BTW!!! :rofL:

[Neoma]

6. The sig line has applied way too much lately...