HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Topics » Health » Mental Health Support (Group) » What do you do when you h...

Wed Feb 7, 2018, 04:35 PM

What do you do when you have no options

My husband gets drunk and is extremely verballally abusive, but sober he is kind...

When he drinks, I drink...though I would like NO ALCOHOL ever in this house.

Unfortunately, he is drunk more often than he is sober, as am I.

I am trapped in this house, trapped in this relationship...

I am sorry I came here since there is nothing to be done.

14 replies, 2196 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 14 replies Author Time Post
Reply What do you do when you have no options (Original post)
angstlessk Feb 2018 OP
zipplewrath Feb 2018 #1
democratisphere Feb 2018 #2
angstlessk Feb 2018 #4
democratisphere Feb 2018 #7
fierywoman Feb 2018 #6
irisblue Feb 2018 #3
angstlessk Feb 2018 #9
elleng Feb 2018 #5
BigmanPigman Feb 2018 #8
irisblue Feb 2018 #10
PJMcK Feb 2018 #11
shenmue Feb 2018 #12
mopinko Feb 2018 #13
steve2470 Feb 2018 #14

Response to angstlessk (Original post)

Wed Feb 7, 2018, 04:41 PM

1. There are always options

Just not necessarily "good" ones.

The right answers are usually simple.

The simple answers are usually hard.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to angstlessk (Original post)

Wed Feb 7, 2018, 04:41 PM

2. Why don't you stop drinking completely.

Then go from there. You can make better decisions when you are strong and sober.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to democratisphere (Reply #2)

Wed Feb 7, 2018, 04:56 PM

4. You are of course correct

I am as much an alcoholic as he is.

The only difference is if it's not here we can't drink it...but he keeps buying it!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to angstlessk (Reply #4)

Wed Feb 7, 2018, 05:03 PM

7. I wish you well in your difficult situation.

Remember, no excuses!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to democratisphere (Reply #2)

Wed Feb 7, 2018, 05:03 PM

6. I agree. You will find the option(s) that work best for you

by looking in the places that speak to YOU as a human being. Not him, YOU. He may or may not follow your lead, but that is his concern not yours.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to angstlessk (Original post)

Wed Feb 7, 2018, 04:53 PM

3. Consider calling your local AA for a ride to a womens meeting.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to irisblue (Reply #3)

Wed Feb 7, 2018, 05:22 PM

9. this is a shit site...where do I go?

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to angstlessk (Original post)

Wed Feb 7, 2018, 04:56 PM

5. There are options. You have to be willing to recognize that,

and accept the consequences.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to angstlessk (Original post)

Wed Feb 7, 2018, 05:18 PM

8. The Days of Wine and Roses was just on TV.

Watch it, then go to a meeting. Save yourself...that is your only option.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to angstlessk (Original post)

Wed Feb 7, 2018, 05:28 PM

10. Depression and alcohol are a bad mix.

Check your PMs

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to angstlessk (Original post)

Wed Feb 7, 2018, 05:34 PM

11. All of the above are good suggestions

You could also talk with your doctor or religious advisor, if you have one. They can help you find resources.

Good luck.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to angstlessk (Original post)

Wed Feb 7, 2018, 09:44 PM

12. So sorry

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to angstlessk (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 08:02 PM

13. no one can save you but you.

you have to decide you are worth saving first. then you will find the way.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mopinko (Reply #13)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 08:28 PM

14. very true and very wise

A few other thoughts intended, sincerely, to be helpful to anyone who reads this forum.....

1- Most people have a "bottom" to their pain, upon which they get galvanized to do what they need to do. Some do not ..and some just die miserable. Sad, harsh and true. I firmly believe for most human situations, where there is a WILL, there is a WAY. It may not be easy, cheap or fun, but there is a WAY out. Change it, adapt to it, or both.

2- Some people are called in the psych professions "help-seeking/help-rejecting": they seek help, only to avoid implementing all rational and sane approaches. Hmm. At some point, everyone just gives up, including most psychiatrists, therapists, nurses, friends, family members, doctors etc. One can only complain so long, before one gets tuned out. Also sad, harsh and true.



Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread