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Wed Apr 11, 2018, 03:33 PM

tears of joy today.

Last edited Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:45 PM - Edit history (1)

my middle kid was just here for a 2 hour visit. we havent talked in a few years, except at my sister's memorial in january.
she is moving out of state, and wanted to tie up loose ends. i was a loose end.

being a good mom means just sweeping that all away, embracing her, telling her how much i love her.

since my divorce, the most crushing loneliness has been the rift w my kids. especially this one.

not only mended fences, but listened to her tell me about how she has made use of the things she got from me. and how much she is like me.
of course, there is also some mental illness that runs hard in this family. but she is coping, getting meds, getting help, and growing up anyway.

sad that this had to happen as she is moving away, but glad i get to be a part of her grand adventure.

happy tears feel so good.

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Arrow 53 replies Author Time Post
Reply tears of joy today. (Original post)
mopinko Apr 2018 OP
elleng Apr 2018 #1
mopinko Apr 2018 #3
calimary Apr 2018 #11
woodsprite Apr 2018 #2
steve2470 Apr 2018 #4
pbmus Apr 2018 #5
rurallib Apr 2018 #6
fierywoman Apr 2018 #8
Bernardo de La Paz Apr 2018 #7
mopinko Apr 2018 #16
GreenPartyVoter Apr 2018 #9
irisblue Apr 2018 #10
gademocrat7 Apr 2018 #12
sandensea Apr 2018 #13
Skittles Apr 2018 #14
democrank Apr 2018 #15
FailureToCommunicate Apr 2018 #17
mopinko Apr 2018 #33
ehrnst Apr 2018 #18
lunatica Apr 2018 #19
cilla4progress Apr 2018 #20
Scarsdale Apr 2018 #42
True Blue American Apr 2018 #45
Scarsdale Apr 2018 #51
mopinko Apr 2018 #52
KrazyinKS Apr 2018 #21
mopinko Apr 2018 #25
True Blue American Apr 2018 #46
mopinko Apr 2018 #47
StevieM Apr 2018 #22
Heartstrings Apr 2018 #23
mopinko Apr 2018 #24
Heartstrings Apr 2018 #28
mopinko Apr 2018 #30
Heartstrings Apr 2018 #34
Stuart G Apr 2018 #26
mopinko Apr 2018 #27
volstork Apr 2018 #29
Freedomofspeech Apr 2018 #31
mopinko Apr 2018 #32
Hekate Apr 2018 #35
3catwoman3 Apr 2018 #36
ancianita Apr 2018 #37
dlk Apr 2018 #38
CaptainTruth Apr 2018 #39
MLAA Apr 2018 #40
mia Apr 2018 #41
mopinko Apr 2018 #43
niyad Apr 2018 #44
mopinko Apr 2018 #48
lillypaddle Apr 2018 #49
mopinko Apr 2018 #50
PennyK Apr 2018 #53

Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 03:35 PM

1. That's wonderful news, mop!

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Response to elleng (Reply #1)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 03:36 PM

3. yes it is. had to share it w my friends here.

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Response to mopinko (Reply #3)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:07 PM

11. Thanks for doing that, mopinko.

Good news is most welcome! Posts like yours give us all hope, and something positive to focus on.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 03:36 PM

2. M - I can feel your joy in your words.

It put a smile on my face and a tear in my eye. So glad you reconnected and had a good visit!

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 03:44 PM

4. This is great news Mo :)

I'm glad you and she mended fences and had a great talk

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 03:45 PM

5. Great news when you can keep Family close...

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 03:51 PM

6. jus shed a tear of joy for you

good to hear.

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Response to rurallib (Reply #6)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:03 PM

8. So very, very happy for you!

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:03 PM

7. +1. Happy for you. :)

Last edited Wed Apr 11, 2018, 05:34 PM - Edit history (1)


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Response to Bernardo de La Paz (Reply #7)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:46 PM

16. fixed that. thanks.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:03 PM

9. *huge hug* So happy this has happened for the two of you!

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:05 PM

10. Mo....how joyful the news!

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:29 PM

12. Good news.

Happy for you and your daughter.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:32 PM

13. Aww. Thank you for sharing that.

Here's to reconciliation, and to many beautiful memories ahead.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:41 PM

14. happy for you, mopinko

when you get super lonely, just remember that someone is always here on DU

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:43 PM

15. A wonderful gift you just gave one another

So happy for you.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:52 PM

17. There is no love like a mother's love. She'll learn that more and more as time goes by.

Hang in there.

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Response to FailureToCommunicate (Reply #17)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 06:08 PM

33. i think she got a big dose today.

also learning that carrying grudges only hurts yourself, esp when that person is there for you if you ever need them, w/o a harsh word or the need to grovel. something i learned from my mom.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:55 PM

18. Hugs...

 

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:56 PM

19. Big huge hugs to you!



This made me cry. Itís wonderful news!

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 05:07 PM

20. Amazing story and

redemption!

As a mom of a young woman, I can relate.

Good luck to all!

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Response to cilla4progress (Reply #20)

Thu Apr 12, 2018, 07:16 AM

42. Me, too.

My only daughter is estranged, ever since my youngest son passed away. I lost two children when she told me "I do not have a family" No chance of a reconciliation, she has ignored my letters, cards and pleas to reconnect. I still do not completely understand just what I did to offend her this badly. So glad you and your daughter have "buried the hatchet" Must feel so good.

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Response to Scarsdale (Reply #42)

Thu Apr 12, 2018, 01:59 PM

45. Me too

Your daughters anger may be because of the loss of your Son and her brother.

Anger is sometimes turned on another.it is one of the stages of grief. I have seen it many times.

But I really feel for both of you.

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Response to True Blue American (Reply #45)

Thu Apr 12, 2018, 07:25 PM

51. Thank you

for the kind words. Still hurts like crazy, to lose both of them.

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Response to Scarsdale (Reply #42)

Thu Apr 12, 2018, 10:27 PM

52. it is the best feeling.

how awful for you. how awful for both of you.
your daughter may come around some day. i hope so.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 05:21 PM

21. I feel for you

I had a rift with my sister who I was close even though we are in different states. Yes same thing, mental illness no one will admit to. Although they all function at a very high level. I am 63 now and it took years to get to this point. I think a lot of the rift is the current political climate for us.

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Response to KrazyinKS (Reply #21)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 05:55 PM

25. yeah, didnt talk to my siblings from quite a while.

some of it was shame for my mental illness, and troubles w my kids. but a lot of it had to do w politics. the w years caused real trouble.

back on board w them now. it's a damn hard thing to drag around.

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Response to mopinko (Reply #25)

Thu Apr 12, 2018, 02:04 PM

46. Dear God

What is going on in our Country with this monster in the WH is even destroying families.

The agitation,rage and anger is every where I look. The blabber mouth is on now. Makes me physically ill. And, I thought Bush, Jr was bad.

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Response to True Blue American (Reply #46)

Thu Apr 12, 2018, 02:11 PM

47. luckily

we are pretty much together in hating that asshole. i do have one sis who is a dittohead, and a couple nieces/nephews that are repubs. but we try to be nice to them, anyway.
most of the strife under w centered on a nephew who was a war hero. some of us didnt think that was actually a good thing. but....

my folks did a great job in one way- we never heard words like the n-word in our home, or learned to hate AT.ALL.
sister was a dem till she married a dittohead late in life.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 05:34 PM

22. A mother's love is special. I hope you guys can build from here. And I hope that you can also

reconcile any outstanding differences that you have with your other children.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 05:36 PM

23. Lose ends just need to be tightened

from time to time. Have gone through similar situations with my kids/family.
Itís all good!
Keep in touch with her!

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Response to Heartstrings (Reply #23)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 05:52 PM

24. she promised to unblock me on fb.

modern motherhood. lol.

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Response to mopinko (Reply #24)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 06:03 PM

28. And thats a huge step!

My advice? Play it by ear, taking baby steps as advances are made....
So happy for you, mopinko!

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Response to Heartstrings (Reply #28)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 06:05 PM

30. yeah, dont get into arguments on messenger is my big take away.

that's where i got in trouble. from now on, i pick up the phone.

dont plan to divorce her father again, so....

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Response to mopinko (Reply #30)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 06:11 PM

34. Pick your battles...nt

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 05:58 PM

26. Great News...thank you for sharing with us...!!

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 06:03 PM

27. a couple examples of stuff i am so proud of.

a- her sense of humor. she told me a story about having a guy try to hit on her as she picked up a script at the walgreens. as she scurried to her car, she held up the bag and yelled- "chlamydia!!"

b- she realizes who she is, and who she is is my daughter. we were talking about the effect we both have on insecure people, esp women.
told her the story i tell on myself- i can walk into a room w 10 strangers, walk out w 8 bff's, one person going wtf was that, and one person who goes home and sharpens their knives.
she nodded along, and w/o skipping a beat said, "ya just gotta have a bigger knife"

she is moving to nyc to be w her distance honey of 2 years. she will be transferring in her job as a kitchen manager in a chain restaurant. prolly gonna get married at some point. glad i will be invited!

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 06:04 PM

29. I feel your joy in your post

Congratulations, and best wishes to you!

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 06:05 PM

31. So happy for you!

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 06:06 PM

32. thank you all for sharing my joy.

i dont get to do that to often. so glad you are all here to share it.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 06:13 PM

35. I'm so happy for you

I just got a little teary, too. Nothing hurts as much as estrangement from your kids.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 06:18 PM

36. What a poignant mix of joy, pride...

...and wistfulness for both of you. It sounds as if there is great potential for things to grow going forward.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 06:23 PM

37. Glad for you. Happy tears are good. Gives me hope.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 06:44 PM

38. Good for You!

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 07:34 PM

39. Good for you! Glad you had that opportunity.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2018, 10:03 PM

40. Wonderful, so happy for you both!

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Thu Apr 12, 2018, 12:41 AM

41. She's proud to be your daughter. You raised her well.

"...not only mended fences, but listened to her tell me about how she has made use of the things she got from me. and how much she is like me.

You are so fortunate as to have received these sentiments from your child. What more could a mother ask?

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Response to mia (Reply #41)

Thu Apr 12, 2018, 11:18 AM

43. i made plenty of mistakes, but

i always poured everything i had into them. it often just was not enough.
but is there a better feeling in the world than to be forgiven?

her little sister tells me today that she was also thrilled w the visit. still trying to process it all.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Thu Apr 12, 2018, 12:21 PM

44. ((((((((((((mopinko)))))))) thank you for sharing this beautiful time with us.

may it be only the beginning!!

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Response to niyad (Reply #44)

Thu Apr 12, 2018, 02:13 PM

48. thanks niyad.

it will be. the tough times were an aberration. products of an ugly divorce that is now water under the bridge.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Thu Apr 12, 2018, 02:26 PM

49. Parenting is so difficult

and sometimes it can sneak up and smack you hard in the face. My son is soon to turn 50, and I always thought we were close and all was good, only to find out in the last year that he has harbored some really bad feelings about me and my mothering.

Glad you made up with your daughter, life is hard enough.

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Response to lillypaddle (Reply #49)

Thu Apr 12, 2018, 03:05 PM

50. getting them to be adults is so much harder than i thought.

2 sons still in that place, both due to being not neurotypical.
the hard thing is knowing just how damaging it is TO THEM to carry that shit around in adult life. personally, i think you become an adult when you forgive your parents, and not until then.
forgave my mom long ago, but didnt forgive my dad till i was 60. most of my sibs havent and never will forgive him. but it was such a weight off my heart.

sorry to hear about your son. if only moms could be the perfect beings our children feel entitled to.

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Response to mopinko (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2018, 11:14 AM

53. So happy for you!

I had a period where my younger daughter and I barely spoke. Just the two of us were living together and it was very difficult.
That time ended and she is warm and loving...but there are times when I feel a discomfort and wonder what she's thinking. I love her so much, but there will always be a bit of an awkward feeling.

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