tears of joy today.

[mopinko]

Last edited Wed Apr 11, 2018, 04:45 PM - Edit history (1)

my middle kid was just here for a 2 hour visit. we havent talked in a few years, except at my sister's memorial in january.
she is moving out of state, and wanted to tie up loose ends. i was a loose end.

being a good mom means just sweeping that all away, embracing her, telling her how much i love her.

since my divorce, the most crushing loneliness has been the rift w my kids. especially this one.

not only mended fences, but listened to her tell me about how she has made use of the things she got from me. and how much she is like me.
of course, there is also some mental illness that runs hard in this family. but she is coping, getting meds, getting help, and growing up anyway.

sad that this had to happen as she is moving away, but glad i get to be a part of her grand adventure.

happy tears feel so good.

[elleng]

1. That's wonderful news, mop!

[mopinko]

3. yes it is. had to share it w my friends here.

[calimary]

11. Thanks for doing that, mopinko.

Good news is most welcome! Posts like yours give us all hope, and something positive to focus on.

[woodsprite]

2. M - I can feel your joy in your words.

It put a smile on my face and a tear in my eye. So glad you reconnected and had a good visit!

[steve2470]

4. This is great news Mo :)

I'm glad you and she mended fences and had a great talk

[pbmus]

5. Great news when you can keep Family close...

[rurallib]

6. jus shed a tear of joy for you

good to hear.

[fierywoman]

8. So very, very happy for you!

[Bernardo de La Paz]

7. +1. Happy for you. :)

Last edited Wed Apr 11, 2018, 05:34 PM - Edit history (1)

[mopinko]

16. fixed that. thanks.

[GreenPartyVoter]

9. *huge hug* So happy this has happened for the two of you!

[irisblue]

10. Mo....how joyful the news!

[gademocrat7]

12. Good news.

Happy for you and your daughter.

[sandensea]

13. Aww. Thank you for sharing that.

Here's to reconciliation, and to many beautiful memories ahead.

[Skittles]

14. happy for you, mopinko

when you get super lonely, just remember that someone is always here on DU

[democrank]

15. A wonderful gift you just gave one another

So happy for you.

[FailureToCommunicate]

17. There is no love like a mother's love. She'll learn that more and more as time goes by.

Hang in there.

[mopinko]

33. i think she got a big dose today.

also learning that carrying grudges only hurts yourself, esp when that person is there for you if you ever need them, w/o a harsh word or the need to grovel. something i learned from my mom.

[ehrnst]

18. Hugs...

[lunatica]

19. Big huge hugs to you!

This made me cry. It’s wonderful news!

[cilla4progress]

20. Amazing story and

redemption!

As a mom of a young woman, I can relate.

Good luck to all!

[Scarsdale]

42. Me, too.

My only daughter is estranged, ever since my youngest son passed away. I lost two children when she told me "I do not have a family" No chance of a reconciliation, she has ignored my letters, cards and pleas to reconnect. I still do not completely understand just what I did to offend her this badly. So glad you and your daughter have "buried the hatchet" Must feel so good.

[True Blue American]

45. Me too

Your daughters anger may be because of the loss of your Son and her brother.

Anger is sometimes turned on another.it is one of the stages of grief. I have seen it many times.

But I really feel for both of you.

[Scarsdale]

51. Thank you

for the kind words. Still hurts like crazy, to lose both of them.

[mopinko]

52. it is the best feeling.

how awful for you. how awful for both of you.
your daughter may come around some day. i hope so.

[KrazyinKS]

21. I feel for you

I had a rift with my sister who I was close even though we are in different states. Yes same thing, mental illness no one will admit to. Although they all function at a very high level. I am 63 now and it took years to get to this point. I think a lot of the rift is the current political climate for us.

[mopinko]

25. yeah, didnt talk to my siblings from quite a while.

some of it was shame for my mental illness, and troubles w my kids. but a lot of it had to do w politics. the w years caused real trouble.

back on board w them now. it's a damn hard thing to drag around.

[True Blue American]

46. Dear God

What is going on in our Country with this monster in the WH is even destroying families.

The agitation,rage and anger is every where I look. The blabber mouth is on now. Makes me physically ill. And, I thought Bush, Jr was bad.

[mopinko]

47. luckily

we are pretty much together in hating that asshole. i do have one sis who is a dittohead, and a couple nieces/nephews that are repubs. but we try to be nice to them, anyway.
most of the strife under w centered on a nephew who was a war hero. some of us didnt think that was actually a good thing. but....

my folks did a great job in one way- we never heard words like the n-word in our home, or learned to hate AT.ALL.
sister was a dem till she married a dittohead late in life.

[StevieM]

22. A mother's love is special. I hope you guys can build from here. And I hope that you can also

reconcile any outstanding differences that you have with your other children.

[Heartstrings]

23. Lose ends just need to be tightened

from time to time. Have gone through similar situations with my kids/family.
It’s all good!
Keep in touch with her!

[mopinko]

24. she promised to unblock me on fb.

modern motherhood. lol.

[Heartstrings]

28. And thats a huge step!

My advice? Play it by ear, taking baby steps as advances are made....
So happy for you, mopinko!

[mopinko]

30. yeah, dont get into arguments on messenger is my big take away.

that's where i got in trouble. from now on, i pick up the phone.

dont plan to divorce her father again, so....

[Heartstrings]

34. Pick your battles...nt

[Stuart G]

26. Great News...thank you for sharing with us...!!

[mopinko]

27. a couple examples of stuff i am so proud of.

a- her sense of humor. she told me a story about having a guy try to hit on her as she picked up a script at the walgreens. as she scurried to her car, she held up the bag and yelled- "chlamydia!!"

b- she realizes who she is, and who she is is my daughter. we were talking about the effect we both have on insecure people, esp women.
told her the story i tell on myself- i can walk into a room w 10 strangers, walk out w 8 bff's, one person going wtf was that, and one person who goes home and sharpens their knives.
she nodded along, and w/o skipping a beat said, "ya just gotta have a bigger knife"

she is moving to nyc to be w her distance honey of 2 years. she will be transferring in her job as a kitchen manager in a chain restaurant. prolly gonna get married at some point. glad i will be invited!

[volstork]

29. I feel your joy in your post

Congratulations, and best wishes to you!

[Freedomofspeech]

31. So happy for you!

[mopinko]

32. thank you all for sharing my joy.

i dont get to do that to often. so glad you are all here to share it.

[Hekate]

35. I'm so happy for you

I just got a little teary, too. Nothing hurts as much as estrangement from your kids.

[3catwoman3]

36. What a poignant mix of joy, pride...

...and wistfulness for both of you. It sounds as if there is great potential for things to grow going forward.

[ancianita]

37. Glad for you. Happy tears are good. Gives me hope.

[dlk]

38. Good for You!

[CaptainTruth]

39. Good for you! Glad you had that opportunity.

[MLAA]

40. Wonderful, so happy for you both!

[mia]

41. She's proud to be your daughter. You raised her well.

"...not only mended fences, but listened to her tell me about how she has made use of the things she got from me. and how much she is like me.

You are so fortunate as to have received these sentiments from your child. What more could a mother ask?

[mopinko]

43. i made plenty of mistakes, but

i always poured everything i had into them. it often just was not enough.
but is there a better feeling in the world than to be forgiven?

her little sister tells me today that she was also thrilled w the visit. still trying to process it all.

[niyad]

44. ((((((((((((mopinko)))))))) thank you for sharing this beautiful time with us.

may it be only the beginning!!

[mopinko]

48. thanks niyad.

it will be. the tough times were an aberration. products of an ugly divorce that is now water under the bridge.

[lillypaddle]

49. Parenting is so difficult

and sometimes it can sneak up and smack you hard in the face. My son is soon to turn 50, and I always thought we were close and all was good, only to find out in the last year that he has harbored some really bad feelings about me and my mothering.

Glad you made up with your daughter, life is hard enough.

[mopinko]

50. getting them to be adults is so much harder than i thought.

2 sons still in that place, both due to being not neurotypical.
the hard thing is knowing just how damaging it is TO THEM to carry that shit around in adult life. personally, i think you become an adult when you forgive your parents, and not until then.
forgave my mom long ago, but didnt forgive my dad till i was 60. most of my sibs havent and never will forgive him. but it was such a weight off my heart.

sorry to hear about your son. if only moms could be the perfect beings our children feel entitled to.

[PennyK]

53. So happy for you!

I had a period where my younger daughter and I barely spoke. Just the two of us were living together and it was very difficult.
That time ended and she is warm and loving...but there are times when I feel a discomfort and wonder what she's thinking. I love her so much, but there will always be a bit of an awkward feeling.