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Sat May 5, 2018, 06:44 PM

I was my family's scapegoat

I don't recall when I realized that I was the family's scapegoat, maybe when I was 60 or so, or maybe after my mother died?

My family (mom, dad, sister, and me) lived with my grandmother, who also had three children by my uncle (two of which may not have been his) whose mother plopped them down with my grandma.

I was the child who was bullied by all the kids...I just recall one time I was being particularly bullied into hiding behind the couch...I recall my mother saying "that's enough' as if everything before was just fine.

I ran away from home and went to court, and my mother told the judge I was 'incorrigible' and at age 13 I was sent to reform school.

I was the family scapegoat.

There is so much more, as I am sure some of you have experienced!

"Toxic Families Who Scapegoat" https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/toxic-families-who-scapegoat/

I think my mother was a narcissist?

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Reply I was my family's scapegoat (Original post)
angstlessk May 2018 OP
irisblue May 2018 #1
angstlessk May 2018 #2
CelticWinter May 2018 #3
angstlessk May 2018 #4
CelticWinter May 2018 #5
angstlessk May 2018 #6
get the red out May 2018 #7
no_hypocrisy May 2018 #8
hunter May 2018 #9

Response to angstlessk (Original post)

Sat May 5, 2018, 07:04 PM

1. Giving you support on your journey.

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Response to angstlessk (Original post)

Sat May 5, 2018, 07:18 PM

3. right there beside you....

my mother is a narcissist, big time, she thinks she is owed everything and no one should question it. My father was a monster and so many things happened in my youth, and to have a mother say to me that it was my fault that we were terrorized, I (a child) should have protected them. Go figure.
Celtic

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Response to CelticWinter (Reply #3)

Sat May 5, 2018, 07:22 PM

4. Read what families can do to ruin a child

My father was as much a victim of my mother as any of us.

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Response to angstlessk (Reply #4)

Sat May 5, 2018, 07:24 PM

5. will do nt

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Response to angstlessk (Original post)

Sat May 5, 2018, 08:08 PM

6. scapegoating can lead to Asperger!

I was a very happy young child who grew up to be a very silent, introverted person...seems scapegoating can also lead to Asperger!

https://www.google.com/search?ei=k0TuWtT_AYG0jwS5sYKICw&q=can+scapegoating+cause+aspergers&oq=can+scapegoating+cause+aspergers&gs_l=psy-ab.12...99698.138450.0.141938.22.22.0.0.0.0.342.4320.0j16j2j4.22.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..0.4.782...0i13k1j35i39k1.0.GGBFEiiLD3w

I recall once working on a problem, being asked a question, and I kept repeating the question as I worked on my problem, and once done with my problem...answered the question. Not sure how many times it happened, that was just a memorable one.

I think that was my aspergers.

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Response to angstlessk (Original post)

Mon May 7, 2018, 10:15 AM

7. Thoughts for you

Parents with Personality Disorders love that shit! My sister and I are pretty sure our Mom has always had Borderline Personality Disorder, and we would trade places in her eyes as who was good, and who was bad.

I am so sorry for your HELL! I get angry when I think of these horrible disorders that get passed down from generation to generation, along with the abuse.

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Response to angstlessk (Original post)

Fri May 25, 2018, 10:37 PM

8. Please read my post on the Dark Triad (about 30 mins ago).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_triad

IT WASN'T YOU ! ! ! They said it was you, but it wasn't. They shifted the blame to you.

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Response to angstlessk (Original post)

Thu May 31, 2018, 07:15 PM

9. My grandma was the good girl. Her sister was the bad girl.

Bad girl was born before the Great San Francisco earthquake, good girl after, in a ruined city.

Bad girl and her sister both ran south wild to 1920's Hollywood. It was, of course, ALL bad girl's fault. She'd corrupted her younger sister.

But good girl redeemed herself marrying a very respectable military officer.

My bad girl great aunt married and divorced several times. She had many wonderful adventures worldwide. My good girl grandma never ventured beyond U.S.A. territories.

I think my bad girl great aunt had the most fun and she lived more than a hundred years, decades longer than her younger good girl sister, fully vibrant an an Auntie Mame way to the very end.

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