How To Cook a Turkey

[TexasTowelie]

Forget about basting, steaming or deep-frying because these directions are foolproof.

1. Buy a turkey.

2. Have a glass of wine.

3. Stuff turkey.

4. Have a glass of wine.

5. Put turkey in oven.

6. Relax, and have another few glasses of wine.

7. Turk the bastey.

8. Wine of glass another get.

9. Ponder the meat thermometer.

10. Glass yourself another pour of wine.

11. Bake the wine for 4 hours.

12. Take the oven out of the turkey.

13. Floor the turkey up off the pick.

14. Turk the carvey.

15. Get yourself another wottle of bine.

16. Tet the sable, and pour yourself another glass of turkey.

17. Say grace, throw up, and pass out.

I also advice using a generous amount of herbs to spice the turkey and enhance the appetite.

[hobbit709]

1. Just put the fucking turkey in the oven.

[Paper Roses]

2. Loved this post and the reply #1

Last edited Fri Nov 29, 2013, 07:11 AM - Edit history (1)

I watched the film, not knowing what to expect. Laughed like the dickens at the OP and the first reply.
Thanks for the early morning laugh.

Edited to ask: Does this lady have a TV show? She is my kind of cook.

[Auggie]

4. Not on TV, but you can take a class from her at Tante Marie's in San Francisco

http://www.tantemarie.com

[trof]

3. She looks like California Peggy.