The Bad News About Helicopter Parenting: It Works.

[elleng]

New research shows that hyper-involved parenting is the route to kids’ success in today’s unequal world.

'I recently met a Texan couple whose son was still in diapers. They were angling to get him into a preschool that feeds into a private preparatory school with a great record for college admissions.

The couple were ambivalent about doing this. They were from immigrant and working-class backgrounds, and had thrived in public schools. In theory, they believed that all children should have an equal chance to succeed. But I suspected that if they got their son a spot in the preschool, they’d take it. These days, such chances are hard to pass up.

It’s a familiar story. Psychologists, sociologists and journalists have spent more than a decade diagnosing and critiquing the habits of “helicopter parents” and their school obsessions. They insist that hyper-parenting backfires — creating a generation of stressed-out kids who can’t function alone. Parents themselves alternate between feeling guilty, panicked and ridiculous.

But new research shows that in our unequal era, this kind of parenting brings life-changing benefits. That’s the message of the book “Love, Money and Parenting: How Economics Explains the Way We Raise Our Kids,” by the economists Matthias Doepke of Northwestern University and Fabrizio Zilibotti of Yale. It’s true that high-octane, hardworking child-rearing has some pointless excesses, and it doesn’t spark joy for parents. But done right, it works for kids, not just in the United States but in rich countries around the world.'>>>

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/07/opinion/helicopter-parents-economy.html

[underpants]

1. I agree. It works. Seen it first hand but it's more about the ability to spend time and money

which is a byproduct of successful parents. The richer you are and the more flexibility or control YOU have over your schedule the better the kid does. And it costs.

Successful parents not only expect their kids to achieve but also can, let say, assist in making that happen.

We both work regular 8-5 jobs so helping with homework (which we've never really had to do) let alone tutors has to fit in a really small window of time each day. Tutors mostly work 2-5 each day other than the Kumon type establishment places. We lucked out incredibly finding an art tutor via a random email I sent to a lot university. She showed some skill and we decided to nurture it.


Case in point aside from the parents with a non-worker is a friend of ours who telecommutes. She isn't supposed to be doing anything other than work but just like "watercooler" time it's not non-stop. She has tutored her kid since kindergarten and he's performed well. They went a more traditional route for school than we did because he's chasing athletic scholarships. Starting in the 3rd grade we were all told HANDS OFF let them figure it out. We have for the most part though we do help with organization (not a strong suit for the little one). She gets really good grades (6 A's and 2 B's last quarter) in a ridiculously hard curriculum. We let her decide her path and she took the rough road.

I will say that other than her just hitting the crapshoot coming out of the gene pool she crawled out of the biggest influences on her "success" so far have been the nutrition my wife religiously followed as soon as wel found out we were pregnant (my kid eats very well like beets and veggies which were introduced to her very early) and the creative options we were able to put in front of her.

That being said I know we are "competing" against parents with more means and a lot more drive focused at their kids. I know they are doing some of the homework and I also know some of these kids lie about grades to keep up appearances. My daughter doesn't believe either of these things so that's the next step for us - instilling in her some sort of cynicism and awareness of the world.