My roommate's cat hates me.

[Ligyron]

Well, maybe not hates but she's real leery of anyone but him. She was a semi-feral cat hanging around an auto dealership where my roommate works as a mechanic. He ran over her with a car (by accident of course) and took the then pregnant cat to my son-in-law Jason, the Vet. Jason told me her entire abdominal wall was separated and, "I don't know how I stitched that animal back together but somehow, I did." Not only did she survive but all her kittens did too.

Anyway, when my roommate moved in he brought her litter box, a cat tree, etc. which he installed in his room. Every time the cat would see me she ran off like she had seen a T-rex. Gradually, she starts coming over to my room where I would find her lying on my bed when I walked in. I
find her in there a lot now. One day I caught her drinking out of my aquarium, lol. I wondered why the water seemed to be going down so rapidly.

I've always been able to tame any animal to my touch but I have a hard time with this one. If I raise my hand s.l.o.w.l.y to pet her she cries, not a Hiss or warning like in the beginning but a meow that says "noooo, please don't". I bring her treats and can go into her room or her into mine without her freaking and dashing under a bed as she originally did. I guess that's progress...

When he comes home, boy, she just goes nuts with excitement meowing like crazy and again when he leaves in the morning in a very sad fashion. That cat can say a lot with her meows, much more expressive that any other feline I've encountered. I'm retired and home alot and I so wish to be better friends with her. I feel bad with her all alone up there and me downstairs with my other friendly cat and dog who are laying all over me. I guess she just has PTSD from her accident and the resulting invasive procedures done to her by strange unknown humans.

I don't know if anyone has any ideas but if they did, I'd be grateful

[guillaumeb]

1. Recognize what she is saying.

She is lying on your bed. A good sign because she is putting her scent on your area.


Have you tried putting down something for her to eat?

[bettyellen]

2. Look up Jackson Galaxy and his "meat glove" technique as well as others.

His show is My Cat From Hell, he really gets animals.

[northoftheborder]

3. I think cats are non-understandable!

Their "vision" is other worldly! Their reasoning is on a different plane of reality!

Sorry - most cats run when they see me coming! A few are actually friendly to me.

A lifetime dog lover here.

[TygrBright]

4. Treats. n/t

[eppur_se_muova]

5. Introduce yourself by letting the cat sniff your extended finger.

Once she tolerates that, work from there in small steps.

[TDale313]

26. Good advice for making friends with any cat. n/t

[More_Cowbell]

6. I agree that her lying on your bed is a good sign

Also remember that cats behave differently from dogs (I know you have another friendly cat). They don't stare. They decide who can touch them. So the stories that you hear about how cats always go to the cat hater in the room -- those are true. Cats see a person who might glance at them but then never looks at them again, never approaches them, and they think "That is the most civilized person in the room."

It's nice that you want to be friends, and I believe that you will. But it will be on her terms, so you might as well stop trying.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

7. Don't stare at the cat - cats interpret prolonged eye contact as aggressive.

Sit quietly on the floor but don't approach or stare at the cat. Just sit there, sort of pretend you don't notice her and let her come to you and smell you. Don't reach for her or try to touch her, just let her get used to your presence. Eventually she'll get used to you sitting there; then you could slowly reach out a hand, let her smell it, see if she'll let you pet her, but keep your hand low and don't approach her from above. Always be slow and quiet.

Cats can be skittish creatures but they usually will come around in time.

[tosh]

8. Kitties love to be talked to

in a sing-song voice. It sounds as though she's warming up to you if she's relaxing in your room. I'd just go in and sit on the floor whenever you have time and just talk to her. WHEN she decides to approach you, offer your hand, palm down, and let her sniff your fingers and check you out on her terms for a few times. Eventually, you can probably rub her chin, her cheeks and around her ears. Some cats never really get used to a hand approaching their forehead or the top of their head. SOME cats (LOL - I live with one of these!) just like to fuss and cuss at us even though they may truly adore us .

Best of luck with this project!

[Duppers]

10. That is good advice.

I also found this to be true with shy kitties.

[FuzzyRabbit]

9. Tell her (in cat language) that you like her.

When she is on your bed, kneel down or sit down so your face is at her level. Then look at her casually, then look away.

Look at her again, and slowly close your eyes and open them and look away. (Cat language for "I like you" ) Do this a couple more times, then leave the room.

You may have to repeat this a few times, but eventually she will learn that you are safe and that you like her.

I did this with a friend's cat and the cat eventually came out into the living room and let me pet him. The wife came into the living room and yelled out to her husband that the cat was letting me pet it. It seems I was the first person in years that the cat allowed to touch him.

Good luck. If the cat can learn to trust you it will be a rewarding relationship for both of you.

[Duppers]

12. That's the cat whisperer's advice.

Jackson Galaxy, Animal Channel show host.

[TexasBushwhacker]

17. Yup the slow blink

Do it enough times and eventually the cat will slow blink back at you.

[NCjack]

11. Cats don't like to be ignored. So, just ignore her, sit in a chair with a blanket over your legs,

watch some Samantha Bee and munch some popcorn. She will jump onto your lap to investigate. Soon, she will like you and hate that guy who ran her down while she was pregnant.

[tazkcmo]

30. Hahahaha!

I just spit my coffee all over! Oh man, that's funny!

[Duppers]

13. Also try some nip.

Some kitties love it, some don't.

Sometimes it takes months and months to warm up a scared cat. Good luck!

[MuseRider]

14. Go slow

and let her tell you what she wants. She will and if you don't push her she will trust you. I have feral cats that I have tanned living in my house. It takes a lot of time. Good luck.

[mercuryblues]

15. give her a few treats every day

Then go sit down.

everyday, put the treats closer to where you sit. She'll come around.

[Phoenix61]

16. When she is on your bed put your hand on it

Palm side up, when she comes over to investigate, slowly, with one finger, scratch the part she offers you. Don't pick your hand up from the bed. I have a feral I have tamed and he is still, 3 years later, a little skittish about my hand being over his head. Fine with a chin rub and happy to be a lap cat but not always open to me petting the top of his head/body.

[blue cat]

18. Cat toys and cat nip

She’ll love you in no time.

[Louis1895]

19. Play with her

Engage with her using a toy on the end of a stick. Bounce it up and down and make her chase it so she associates you with doing something fun. She will come around.

[Ligyron]

20. Thanks everyone, you've given me some good ideas!

Imma make sure I always have cat treats with me when I go into my room in case she's there. I'm also going to do the non-stare/blink thing as I've foolishly been making constant eye contact with her. I'll also approach her with my hand as instructed since I've been swooping down from above, (which probably is threatening now that I think of it, duh). I'll try some catnip and go watch those videos too.

Again, thanks!

[fleur-de-lisa]

21. Is she afraid of the dog?

If so, she may smell the dog on you.

Also, as someone else mentioned catnip, it is available at most pet stores in a spray bottle. I have found it much more effective than regular ground catnip leaves. I spray some around the room, on the cats favorite lounging spot, and on her toys (never directly on the cat). Works immediately.

Though I had an old male cat who liked me to spray it on him. He inhaled it. He was a delightfully odd creature.

[Ligyron]

22. Yes, she's afraid of the dog and everything else, lol.

Dog and other cat stay downstairs blocked by gate. Scaredy Cat rules the upstairs in complete peace unless I come up or her owner returns. If owner and I are watching TV downstairs she'll come to the stair railing and even come down a bit meowing but she'll never come completely down in spite of all our encouragement. Good point about the dog smell. I'll buy some spray catnip, thanks.

[radical noodle]

23. Catnip bubbles are good

Cats usually love bubbles and the added attraction of the catnip could be a winner.

Move slowly or not at all. Let her come to you and sniff you.

[Ligyron]

24. Good idea, thanks!

In fact, I want to thank everyone who responded to my request for ideas. Far more folks took an interest than I ever could have imagined. This site truly is a wonderful resource!

[bettyellen]

29. The "meat glove" is basically wiping some food on your hand when you do the low approach.

He just suggests a glove if you’re really going to smear it, but it doesn’t take much to get them interested.

[catbyte]

25. If you can catch her eye, try blinking at her very slowly. It's a sign of non-aggression

and affection. She'll most likely just stare at you at first, but keep it up. Speak to her in a soft, soothing voice while you do it. It'll probably take time, but I'll bet she will start blinking back, and eventually let you pet her. That's how I tamed about a dozen feral kitties in my neighborhood. I either brought them to live with our feline pack or found them good homes--after having them spayed and neutered, of course.

[Upthevibe]

27. Jackson Galaxy, Jackson Galaxy, Jackson Galaxy...

As soon as I read about your situation I thought, "What would Jackson say to do." LOL! I saw others mentioned him as well. Please keep us posted....

[donkeypoofed]

28. Talk to the cat

In our arrogance, we humans tend to think animals don't understand us, but they.do! The first time I talked to my cat when he was 7yrs, he looked SO surprised! Like, "you know I can understand you?!?!". We have gotten even closer since then. I've even told a.squirrell to "wait right there", while I went upstairs and got it an apple - and when I got back to the front door, it was still there,waiting for the food I had promised it. Just give talking to her a try. I really think it'll work.

[tazkcmo]

31. To all respondents

I am a dog guy and have been studying their behavior since I was a little boy. My friends call me a dog whisperer but I am far from one although I will say I do have some knowledge but I'm no whisperer. I know squat about cats. Correction, I used to know squat about cats. This thread has taught me more in the few minutes it took me to read it then I have learned and almost 60 years. I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart for teaching me and giving me resources to learn more. Again thank you.


To Ligron, the only advice I can give you comes from Star Wars: Patience young Padawan.

[applegrove]

32. I think they sell cat phermones at pet stores that relax them. Get a toy. One of those wire things.

Cats cannot resist. Pretty soon she'll be running to you with it in her mouth to play.

[CountAllVotes]

33. It may take some time

The kitten I adopted in Nov. of 2016 is just beginning to like Mr. Silver the cat. Mr. Silver is a huge 18 lb. tomcat and he is jealous as all hell of the new no longer a kitten Missyllaneous!

Soon they'll be friends I'm hoping.

Cats do things at their own pace in life.

Missyllaneous loves Mr. Silver's brother Andy however. Was truly a love a first sight sort of thing and Mr. Silver has been green with envy ever since his brother turned his eye to a pretty young girl!