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Sat Aug 18, 2012, 06:20 PM


The Right to Bear Claws, A Parable

Once there was a country called Land of Free (and nicknamed Home of Brave). It had not always been very free or brave—it had enslaved some, locked others in camps because of their nationality and supported the False Patriotism Law—but those are other stories.

When much of the country had  been settled, a wise Prime Minister led his country to set aside preserves to protect some of the animals who had been driven nearly to extinction, as well as to prevent the cutting of some of the most majestic trees and the paving and settling of some of the most glorious scenery.

Almost all of the citizens agreed with Prime Minister Parkman: the beauty and wildness of the land deserved to be protected, and even the fiercest and most dangerous animals deserved some sanctuary.

The biggest and most popular park in Land of Free was Yellowrock. And the favorite animals were the bears. They were also the most dangerous.

Sure, stupid people were killed or hurt attempting to pet young buffalo or to get closeup pictures of moose, but bears actively sought out human food. They rummaged through garbage cans and aggressively begged for food. They peeled the roofs of cars to get at food. They raided campsites.

In spite of the best efforts of the Park Patrol, it was impossible to keep people and bears apart. Bears, especially mother bears who needed to feed cubs, were very dangerous. The sows tried to keep their cubs from human contact, but they would forage for food alone when the cubs slept.

Officer Controll was very concerned. Gunter—that was his first name—set out to stop the mother bears from hurting people. When some sleeping people were killed because a sow peeled the roof of their car to get to their food, he hatched a plan.

Gunter decided to declaw Yellowrock's sows. Actually, he decided to declaw all adult bears, but it turned out that he almost never caught a bruin. The males were more reclusive, and since they only had one mouth to feed they could afford to forage mostly in remote areas.

Gunter's plan was simple. He patrolled the less remote areas of the park and shot bears with a tranquilizer gun. He then surgically removed their claws.

At first Gunter's conscience worried him. Yellowrock's Charter said that the animals were to be allowed to roam, forage and fend for themselves naturally and that their right to do so was not to be interfered with. By declawing bears, mostly sows, he was definitely interfering.

He comforted himself that he was serving a higher purpose.

All was well until other Park Patrol Officers began to notice something. Cubs were disappearing and sows were being found dead. And declawed.

They investigated and caught Gunter red-handed, with a partially declawed sow. "Gunter," asked the Senior Officer, "what would possess you to do this? Don't you realize that sows need their claws to dig for roots, to climb trees and to fight off bruins? Bruins are realizing that some sows are defenseless, and they are more prone to attack sows when they range farther from the people areas."

"They also use their claws to peel roofs and kill people" answered Gunter.

"True, that sometimes happens, but the sows deserve survival tools" answered Senior Officer Bill Wright. "You have violated Yellowrock's Charter, you have left sows and cubs utterly defenseless. It is not for you to judge and overrule the Charter, you are an officer of the Charter. Or you were."

"You're fired."

Gunter was very angry. He hired a lawyer and filed suit. If you were one of the Justices; how would you rule?
4 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
Gunter was wrong and his firing was justified. Sows deserve the means to survive and protect their cubs.
4 (100%)
Gunter was entitled to his intentions, but he should have tried to change the Charter through legitimate means.
0 (0%)
Gunter was right to defy the Charter; it was clearly obsolete as shown by the people being killed.
0 (0%)
Gunter did not violate the Charter; sows can fend for themselves without claws.
0 (0%)
Gunter should get his job back; the Charter can be reinterpreted at will by the Justices and I so reinterpret.
0 (0%)
Other (please explain below)
0 (0%)
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Reply The Right to Bear Claws, A Parable (Original post)
TPaine7 Aug 2012 OP
TPaine7 Aug 2012 #1
shadowrider Aug 2012 #5
TPaine7 Aug 2012 #6
shadowrider Aug 2012 #7
holdencaufield Aug 2012 #2
Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2012 #3
TPaine7 Aug 2012 #4

Response to TPaine7 (Original post)

Sat Aug 18, 2012, 06:35 PM

1. Personally, I favor Bill Wright over Gunter Controll.


And not simply because he is the superior officer or he has the backing of the Charter. And if I support the Charter to protect bears, probably most of you have gathered that I support the Second Amendment to protect humans.

Here is one of the most eloquent explanations I've read:

This woman:

{picture of petite woman}

has a right to defend herself against this man:

{Picture of non-petite man}

no matter where she goes or what she does, 24/7.

That right has nothing to do with the finer points of constitutional law or statistical analysis. She is human, and should enjoy the rights afforded to every other animal on earth. Lions and tigers defend themselves with teeth and claws. Springbucks defend themselves with speed. Moths defend themselves with camouflage. Humans are tool using mammals with opposable thumbs. A firearm is the best tool yet designed for self defense.


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Response to TPaine7 (Reply #1)

Sun Aug 19, 2012, 05:11 AM

5. Look at the difference in size here, except, the mugger is on the losing end

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Response to shadowrider (Reply #5)

Sun Aug 19, 2012, 11:47 AM

6. Ouch, that had to hurt!


I wish the video continued so I could see how that ended. Was he unconscious? Did she walk off and leave him, or did she call for an ambulance?

Unfortunately, women who can take down a mugger like this are rare, at least in America.

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Response to TPaine7 (Reply #6)

Sun Aug 19, 2012, 11:52 AM

7. It's all in leverage.

At a motorcycle show I once saw a 90 lb. woman pick up a 900 lb. bike. (Not over her head, but if the bike had fallen over, she picked it upright).

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Response to TPaine7 (Original post)

Sat Aug 18, 2012, 07:54 PM

2. "...caught Gunter red-handed, with a partially declawed sow"


Was he just "helping that bear over the fence"?

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Response to TPaine7 (Original post)

Sat Aug 18, 2012, 08:20 PM

3. I love Bear Claws!

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Response to TPaine7 (Original post)

Sun Aug 19, 2012, 01:11 AM

4. Fascinating. Rights opponents readily oppose human mothers being armed as they go about their lives,


lest they injure or kill people. But no one has yet opposed bears being armed as they go about their lives.

Do some of us actually respect sows more than human beings? If not, where are the people willing to stand up for Gunter Controll in opposition to Bill O. Wright?

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