What were you thinking?

[bucolic_frolic]

What were you thinking pre-retirement? I can't seem to categorize what I want to know, and I thought maybe some who've been there had ideas.

Because it seems like sorting out the direction is the least of anyone's worries. If I talk to the aging agency, they want to put you through Medicare worksheets and prescription plans. Once they push those alarm bells, it's the financial planner which leads to the employment department. And the senior housing, and a cruise and travel and the grandkids. I have no intention of listening or doing any of that. I'm in a downsizing phase that's going so-so, and the pandemic has cramped connecting to the world for obvious reasons. But what is the next step? It's none of the above. But yet I don't know what it is. This is not an exploration/therapy endeavor. Change will be slow. In fact I doubt much will change. It's hard to flip old housing stock into change. I talk to seniors at a service group I belong to, everyone just scurries to the super and plods onward.

If I'm exhibiting insanity, don't hesitate to say so. I won't be offended. I'd likely agree with you.

[jmbar2]

1. I did a post career plan

Very similar to a career plan, minus the job.

You will have multiple ongoing needs. Brainstorm on paper all the different ways you will meet them.
- Need for financial security - home, spending money, ability to do things you want, meet the bills.
- Need for meaning - this is a biggie
- Need for mental stimulation - another biggie
- Need for interaction with others, meeting new people
- Need for novelty/amusement, to avoid boredom - doing new things
- Need for physical activity


These needs alternate, but will be with you every day for the rest of your life. The time I spent doing this planning was well worth it. I can look back on my list from several years ago and most of it holds up. In same cases you will revise your goals.

Good luck. I love being retired!

[MyOwnPeace]

3. THAT is a marvelous list!!!!

Go back to work - you would be a fantastic retirement counselor!!!!

[jmbar2]

4. I'd actually love that

I am a retired training professional. Sometimes I miss it, but not much.

[jmbar2]

5. What I ended up doing

- daytrading for financial needs and mental stimulation (That's why I'm on DU a lot - killing time waiting on a trade)
- occasional home and pet sitting - stay in new places for awhile
- playing music in a local community music group - on hold for covid
- gardening
- biking
- correspondence - I have a penpal friend and we compete to write the most entertaining letters to each other.
-whale watching when in season

[jmbar2]

6. Oh, and I moved to Oregon from Texas to retire

Pick someplace good to retire. Someplace where it is easy to be elderly. Texas was not it.

[MyOwnPeace]

9. I could see......

a 'political brain fatality' had you stayed there!

[jmbar2]

12. LOL - so true!

[Gaugamela]

2. How soon are you to retirement? I retired 3 months ago. I'm pretty much like you. Not

interested in the usual retirement scene.

[bucolic_frolic]

17. Well, that's part of the problem

I've been underemployed for many years, but I run two home businesses on the side. eBay is just a downsizing gig but it does help, and like the poster above I trade stocks and options, which contributes most of what I need. But I don't live large.

[Pobeka]

7. In a 3 day retirement seminar, only 1 day spent on financials.

2 days spent asking *how* do you want to live your life in retirement?

Large part focusing on how to stay active -- pointing out that going to the gym is not going to work for most people because they get bored and quit, get involved in something that requires semi-rigorous exercise -- like bicycling, mountain hiking (strolls along the beach don't really count), canoeing, kayaking, maintaining a large garden, snowshoing, skiiing, ...

We love the out of doors and are fortunate to have mountains for hiking and backpacking just a couple of hours away. I also volunteer at the national parks working on trails when we're not in a pandemic.

Social interaction -- consider volunteering, or part-time work, or just working longer than you planned if you like your current work.

Marital interaction -- "married until death" does not mean 24/7. Spend time in separate activities and social networks too.

Where you want to live is certainly important, but consider what it might mean to lose current interactions with local friends and having to start over making new connections if you move far away.

For us, travel is important (not travel to visit relatives) -- gives us something to dream about, then start planning for, do, and then have memories of and share our experience with friends and relatives.

[jmbar2]

14. Good points

I moved from a place far from walking trails, to a condo right on a walking trail. It makes all the difference in the world to be able to bike or walk without having to get into a car to get there.

[Irish_Dem]

8. Your question is not insane at all. It is a good question.

Last edited Mon Apr 5, 2021, 08:29 PM - Edit history (1)

I didn't have any pre-planning at all. My retirement was sudden due to health problems so I had not planned anything.
It was a work in progress and I did not do it methodically, it just evolved as I went.

I also never considered myself the typical person with a cookie-cutter retirement future. I had a very busy, demanding and challenging career. Once I recovered from health issues, I was bored. I took up a number of hobbies which are quite intellectually challenging, and are of service to others. (For example, I do DNA adoption searches. I am able to examine an individual's DNA results and find biological parents. It requires advanced genealogy and DNA science skills which I taught myself). All of this is a lot of fun for me.

So if you are intellectually bored, look for something which challenges your mind. I am service oriented, so I really like to use my skills to help others. Other wise I feel like I am just taking up space.

The other thing that really surprised me is how much I enjoyed the senior centers. Pre-pandemic, I belonged to three of them. I grew up as the oldest child in a large Irish Catholic family, so I never had a childhood. I was serious, responsible and bookish. And I spent a good chunk of my adult life as a university student.

So in the senior centers for the first time I learned how to play. There are trips, excursions, travel to a wide variety of locations and interests. The centers are full of games, activities. I found my own group of like minded souls who liked to keep their minds active, like to laugh a lot and have fun at the same time.

Oh I also joined book clubs, but only with young people as the major attendees. I was getting a bit of an over load with older folks. Book clubs with young people are wonderful, I love the energy and like learning about the current 20/30 yr old thought processes and world view.

I had to move to a new condo because I keep breaking my bones and need to be in a one level. I did not want to be in an older community, so my condo complex is a great mix of people ages 30 to 80. I have some young neighbors who stop me to chat all the time! And neighbors my age which I like as well. There are two young children in my building and I like seeing them.

I don't know if any of this helps you or answers your questions. I guess the bottom line is that I did not have a plan, and still don't have one. I am just following my nose and trying out things.

Edit to add: I was so busy with school, career, family I missed out on decades of TV shows and movies. So now I have all th the time in the world to watch Amazon Prime, Netflix, etc.

[MyOwnPeace]

10. OK, gotta' ask!

My Dad was in the Navy in the South Pacific in WWII. I repeat - he was in the Navy - 20 years old - shore leave.
Can you find out if I have any brothers or sisters over there?

(That's semi-serious - I've always wondered.... )

[Irish_Dem]

11. To conduct a DNA search, we need a large DNA database which contains the DNA of as many people as

possible. Unfortunately we don't have a good data base for South Pacific inhabitants. Unless of course they migrated at some point to the US. Which is possible. I suggest you test at Ancestry.com which at this point has the largest DNA data base. You will get a long list of people you DNA match. Look for matches with South Pacific heritage. If you are looking for half sibs, they will be at the top of your match list.

But unfortunately at this point, we just do not have large DNA samples from South Pacific Islanders, or those from the Philippines, Taiwan, etc.

I do believe at some point, we will have an Asian data base. China is said to be testing its citizens, but we cannot get our hands on that info as of yet.

But I have seen first hand the results of sailors on shore leave. I visited Shanghai China, which has been a major international shipping port since 1842. The women there are very beautiful, the best looking women in China I believe.
I am sure gorgeous women from all over China came to Shanghai to earn a living. And to my eye, some of the inhabitants of Shanghai have a semblance of European DNA, which is not the case in other parts of China.

I also traveled to Guangzhou China, which is on the border of North Viet Nam. I had a lengthy layover in the airport there and noticed obvious European facial traits in some of the clearly Chinese citizens there. They were about the right age for offspring of Viet Nam era vets.

I also have taken cases where US soldiers fathered children in Britain during WWII. Which is not uncommon.
It is such fascinating work. The DNA doesn't lie. And tells the story.

[jmbar2]

13. What a wonderful use of your intellect and time!

How did you even discover DNA testing as a volunteer activity?

I completely concur on living in a mixed ages place. I spent two years in a senior complex and it was not a happy place. A lot of them turned into mean biddies. Haven't noticed it in a mixed age place. It may occur, but not within earshot.

[Irish_Dem]

16. Years ago I got interested in genealogy and traced my own family lines.

My mother was French Canadian and I could trace those lines back to the 1500's in France.
I also read basic document French and could translate family documents back to that time.

My Irish lines are a brick wall since the British outlawed so much for the Irish in terms of literacy and record keeping.

I had a knack for genealogy since I was trained as an academic researcher and scientist, so when I was done with my family tree I started tracing family trees for other people. Then the use of DNA for genealogy was just coming out and I loved it. I learned everything I could and found out I had a knack for using DNA to find people. It is a combination of DNA science, genealogy and plain old detective work which I love too. Many people are good at one of these skill sets, but I just happened to be good at all three. Just a case of skill sets matching up in a functional way.

I was really hooked on DNA testing. We found out through my brother's YDNA which goes back thousands of years that my Irish male line is a rare group, going back to ancient Ireland, pre-Celtic and pre-Druid.

Any way in terms of DNA searches, I did it on my own for awhile, and then joined a not for profit group. People who do this work are called Search Angels, which is a bit much, but that is what they are called.

I agree, the older people in my building are not at all cantankerous types. They are lovely people. I think the young people keep us balanced. We can see how hard young people work every day, and raise a child. I think we feel grateful for what we have. We are retired, get to swan around and do what we want. While the young people are working. We know how very lucky we are.

[bucolic_frolic]

19. Yes on the genealogy

Also from New England stock, French Canadian is one line, the 1620s soldiers sent by Cardinal Richelieu, and genealogist have posted back to the 1520s. And lately I read it all goes back to the 700s. I think this stuff has been hiding in castles and parish records that no one ever thought of until recently.

[Irish_Dem]

20. The French priests in Quebec kept impeccable records, they were paid per document.

And the French King made it law that records must be kept.

So I was able to get my family records back to about the year 1500 in France, when I got tired of looking at French Baps (baptismal) records, so I stopped but could have continued.

Yes my ancestor came around the early 1600's from France to Quebec. If you are a descendant of the original Quebec Founder's group, then you and I are related. Probably in many ways since they intermarried for generations. All my Quebec DNA matches are double, triple, quadruple cousins.

I cannot believe how many docs are now online. And how many people have done their family trees. Some are a mess, others are very accurate. Genealogy has become very popular. When I first started, it was an oddity. Now it is mainstream.

[bucolic_frolic]

22. Recently I found him on Geni

https://www.geni.com/people/Denys-Duquet-dit-DesRochers/6000000001353749121

It's been written by a Quebec genealogist that many varations of the name all descend from the same guy.

Duquet, Duquette, Doucette, Duguay, I've seen in census Du Kett in Arkansas. Some census spelled Ducatt.

You really went at it to research them overseas. Most of my searches didn't continue across the pond. My German and Irish unplumbed, but the English and French were ok based on past researchers.

I started in 1999, and yes there was not a lot online, many weekends at LDS Family History Centers, where I had to order microfilm and wait for it to arrive. Now governments found out they can sell that information so they're all into digitizing them.

[Irish_Dem]

24. Denys Duquet dit DesRochers was one of the original founders of Quebec.

Your ancestors and mine lived in the same area of Quebec at the same time.
So we are most likely related in quite a few ways due to many generations of intermarriage.

Yes the French Canadians had dit names and also when they settled in the US, the names changed.
So you have to know the typical Americanized versions of the French names. Luckily the French Canadians are obsessive and prolific family researchers, so Ancestry.com has most of the family trees for the founding fathers and mothers.

Oh I didn't go to France, just was able to access records there. I did go to Quebec City where I have cousins.
My grandfather was born and raised in Quebec and immigrated to the US as a young man.

Nice to meet you cousin! You are also DNA related to 90% of modern day Quebec. And if you go to Quebec or Montreal, most of the statues and memorials are of people related to you. And the old churches were built and frequented by your ancestors. If you have not made a visit to Quebec, I highly recommend that you think about going.

[bucolic_frolic]

25. Yes, that agrees with genealogists

Populations back then were small so everyone's related. A Quebec genealogist was writing a book on the subject, don't know if it ever got published. She might be the one who emailed me about 2001 - the Duquet's related by marriage to Dr. Pierre D'Ailleboust, 1527. How many French Canadian genealogists can be active in the genre?

So, thanks, cousin, nice to meet you also! That's funny because I've done my family tree, I am about 6% French. My Dukett ancestor came to the US prior to 1860. He was a farmer/boatman on Lake Champlain, as was his future brother-in-law. These are little details teased from the census with neighbors, households. Later he served in the Civil War, 1st VT Cavalry, wounded and captured at Buckland's Mills. That unit was part of the Army of the Potomac and served under a guy named George Armstrong Custer. I have a picture of him from about 1920.

Thanks for filling in the details on the research that's been done. I knew LDS and Ancestry were active. The statues are related to me? Great! I did visit Quebec as a kid, but my parents knew little, just that a grandparent was French from Canada. I do remember the Plains of Abraham.

[Irish_Dem]

26. There are quite a few FC geneologists, amateur and professional.

It is an easy subject area as the FC record keeping was impeccable, you just have to be able to read the French documents.

But it is a pain as it was standard for the families to have 20 children each. So there is a great deal of work to fill out the tree. The French king gave a stipend for each child, a big one at 10 children in a family, and then a very nice one at 20 children.

My grandfather was one of 22 children. He was sent to work in the lumber camps at age 10.

If you get your DNA tested at Ancestry, you will have more matches than anyone else! Those of us with FC heritage are well known as having a gazillion matches due to the endogamy (intermarriage). For example my grandfather's parents were cousins. And all of his grandparents were cousins several times over. People married cousins for 400 years in a small area, so everyone is related to each other.

Yes the founding group was small as the French king did not want to de-populate France to send men to Canada.
There was a shortage of French women in Quebec, so the king combed French orphanages and sent the girls to Quebec.
You will have female ancestors who are these boat girls as they were called.

For a while there were no European women in Quebec and the Native American women were very beautiful. The French priests were quite angry at how beautiful they were and accused them of enticing the men. I was shocked when my DNA tests came back showing Native American DNA. All four of my grandparents were immigrants to the US and I could not imagine where the NA DNA came from. After doing some research I realized it was from my FC grandpa. One of his grandmothers did have family who lived on the Indian reservations. This was all kept hush hush of course. But I am proud of my NA DNA.

Yes if you visit Quebec City and Montreal many of the statues and memorials are about our ancestors. It is really neat. And the churches they attended.

C’est bon de te rencontrer cousin !

[bucolic_frolic]

18. Interesting, because like you

I never lived for the fun. I take things seriously, have to feel like I'm taking life at an elevating level. I still hope to achieve some very good things. I lack mental stimulation. Life is me and a computer.

[3Hotdogs]

15. What will I do with the time?

Up to now, you've had structured time..... places you had to be, things you had to accomplish. Along with the background pressure of what if it goes wrong?

That pressure will be off, to be replaced with other concerns --- health, will retirement money always be there?


But back to what to do with unstructured time. Maybe do nothing for the first couple of months. Draw a list of hobbies or activities, unless you already have some. But be aware these change as your health changes, friends move, get sick or pass away.

I am writing this at age 78, retired for 15 years.

That's all I have for now but feel free to respond or ask other questions.

3H

[KarenS]

21. sigh,,,, planning,,,,,

My husband & I downsized and moved from an all-ages neighborhood to an active retirement community,,,, He was still employed at the time but within 2 years of our move he was laid off,,,, so we had kind-of seen it coming,,,, PrePandemic there was alot to do here,,,, from dance classes to art classes to water aerobics,,,, to card games to Bingo to Bus trips/tours,,,, We got crazy and purchased an RV and went out a little, but it really was not our thing,,,,, so we sold that,,,, Then the pandemic came,,,, we are fine,,,, still surrounded by the older generation,,,, just not doing much but we have a screen room on a corner lot so we can say "Hi" to folks that are walking & riding bikes,,, I will never regret the downsizing move and the active retirement community thing. We've been here about 8 years now.

[bucolic_frolic]

23. Thanks to all, gave me some ideas

I just don't want to be inactive. There's an old man who works in a retail store where I shop, he's worked there forever, more than 25 years in fact. He wanted something to do when he retired from his career at age 65, I think I read it was in pharma sales. He's 93 now, and retired last year to escape the risk of covid. So yes there is life after retirement age. I guess you just have to go after it.