more thoughts on love in old age.

[mopinko]

so, i posted a while back about a guy who rejected me over my age. that got truly f'ed up.

but i lucked into a new relationship w an even younger man who has zero hang ups about such things. my feet havent touched the ground in a few days.
it has about zero long term potential, but carpe diem. i think it's like the platte river- a mile wide and an inch deep. but it's wet and i'm thirsty and i'm wadin in.

he is a truly decent man. and one reason i know that is true is- he was a loved child. not a perfect family, duh. but i'm trying to think through other people i know who can say the same, and there are damn few. and they are the cream of the crop of my friends.
he has a good relationship w both his folks, but i learned the hard way that a man who doesnt love/respect his mom is not partner material.

but one thing has me sorta scratching my head- i feel like at this age, every new relationship reminds me of an old one. i'm tryin not to go there. but the one that this one reminds me of, i never got over. it's way different, obviously, cuz i am. and i dont believe in fairy tales like i did then.

but is this a thing? do new loves ring old bells at this age?

[dweller]

1. All love

should ring bells

imo

✌🏻

[mopinko]

4. well sure. and at this point, the bells arent about the far future, fersher.

maybe it all just rhymes.

[madaboutharry]

2. I don't think you are that old Mo!

And you’re young at heart.

[mopinko]

5. i'm workin on it.

i was such a goodie two shoes when i was young, mostly. and i had a long, faithful but boring marriage.
i feel like i have a lot of lost time to make up for. he just went through a big break up, and feels the same.
i truly do believe, tho, if you keep learning and doing new things, you never get old.
besides, it's good exercise.

[madaboutharry]

6. I think having someone to love can add years of longevity.

People who live to be 100 are the same in one way: they are optimistic and always look ahead.

[mopinko]

9. fersher. hell, having a dog adds years.

[madaboutharry]

11. True. A dog is someone.

[3Hotdogs]

19. Dogs are good people.

[multigraincracker]

15. I'm proof of that.

My much younger mate has saved my life twice in the last couple of years she is an RN and a Saint.

[elleng]

3. Not for ME, but

it's been a while.

ENJOY!!!

[multigraincracker]

16. I found mine when

I quit looking.

[elleng]

17. That is truly LIFE!

[patphil]

7. I love your comment.

It's wet and I'm thirsty and I'm wadin' in.
Love is love, you can never tell where that river will take you.

[mopinko]

8. nope you cant.

might float for a day or a lifetime.

[TigressDem]

10. Hopefully it reminds you of what was good about the other relationship.

BUT if things get weird....

I had left my first husband for that last time after he went back to drinking (which is what gave him the idea to try and kill me).

ANYWAY....

At some point I felt good about me and the guys were swarming around me, but they were not the real good thing that I needed.

Won't bore you with details, but suffice it to say that if men seem to be crawling out of the wood work looking for a woman, they probably have more in common with roaches than most women can tolerate.

SO I went to therapy and made up this 2 1/2 typewritten page list of what I really wanted/needed in a relationship.

AND my husband of 23 years was EVERYTHING on that list and more.

He's still annoying some days. It's like being married to Roger Rabbit at times.

BUT the core stuff is wonderful.

[localroger]

12. Well as Jessica said, Roger made her laugh.

Sometimes something like that is what you need.

[TigressDem]

13. Oh yes! My hubby does make me laugh.

It's the little things that are irritating, but we dated nearly 10 years before getting married, so that is around 33 years.

The core strengths are there and he makes me laugh too.

Occasionally he is a bit TOO puny.

He will clog the toilet and act like he doesn't know that he did, so I have to unclog it.

He will bag up the trash, but not take it out. (Pet peeves)

But he's never hit me.

Doesn't really yell, though he can snark with the best of them.

He tells me he loves me every day.

He's NEVER voted for a Republican.

QUITE the keeper.

[mopinko]

14. laughs are everything. kept my marriage going for 30 yrs, and

our kids are just hysterical.
yeah, this guy makes me laugh, and i him, which might be even more important. if i cant make you laugh, i do.not.have.time.4.u.

[3Hotdogs]

20. Can you elaborate on your sentence about, if men seem to be crawling out of the wood work, looking

for a woman,..... ?

[mopinko]

22. i think i know.

the guys who cant make this shit work are a needy lot. they latch on to any open heart. and suck it dry.

i could be wrong.

[ultralite001]

18. Thank you for sharing...

Ticking off another birthday in this time of Covid and reviewing the bucket list, the thought crossed
my mind that I should remove love from my list of things yet to do...

and I can't...

[3Hotdogs]

21. I have pretty much takin "love" off of my list of things.....

We had 23 years together. Her last sentence on her deathbed in hospital, "You're the best think that ever happened to me." After that, I don't need anything more. I would like "more," but the market for 80 year olds isn't too hot these days.

as I've pointed out to the people in my hiking club, "80, is the new 85." and "I'm too old to die."

But I'm glad you found someone.

[KarenS]

23. This makes me happy to read,,,

Best wishes and you go girl!

Enjoy. We all deserve some happiness and peace and love.



When my Husband and I found each other 24 years ago,,, it did ring old bells,,,, and the meaning of fairy tales can change with age.

on edit: I am 4 years older than him.