I am honored and humbled

[gwheezie]

The mother of a friend died. I've been asked to be a nurse at the funeral. I am so humbled by this request. I have been to funerals before and observed the role of the nurse but never participated myself.
My friends moms illness was sudden and quick. A matter of weeks between diagnosis, coming home, going into hospice and dying. I sat with her mom several times when my friend and her family were having difficulty juggling their schedules and trying to keep mom home and tended to.
Tomorrow I will go out and buy my white uniform, shoes,stockings and nursing cap and prepare a bag to hold supplies to nurse the family through the service. I can't tell you how touched I am.
I'm an atheist and they are aware of that but I've always held cultural death rituals in reverence after being a hospice nurse years ago.

[sheshe2]

1. gwheezie.

Bless you, have been in a situation like that not long ago.

[gwheezie]

2. Ksherras mom

I didn't know her until she got ill but Ksherra and I hung out and she'd come over my house. We both have a love for music and art.
I'm sorry I didn't know her mom when she was well but I got very close to all the children and grandchildren. Mom was loved deeply by her family, such a loss. Ksherra is heartbroken, mom was the rock. Even with the devastating diagnosis and rapid deterioration of her health, mom gave her heart to her children. It was an honor to spend time with her.

[Control-Z]

3. Please, if you don't mind, can you tell me what this means.

I've never heard of a nurse at a funeral, let alone donning the, I guess traditional, attire.

It sounds revered. I've just never heard of such, or of its importance to others .

Is it a religious practice, or something different? I ask in sincerity.

The absence of courage and faith in my life does not preclude me from great admiration for people like you who are obviously outstandingly special, sensitive and compassionate.

If this is an inappropriate post, let me know. I will delete and apologize.



Ignorant in California

[Hekate]

5. I have the same question, so I join you in wanting to know

Thanks in advance, gwheezie.

[JustAnotherGen]

6. We don't have them in my dad's family in uniform per se

But they are women close to the family that have simple things - like kleenex on hand.

My best girlfriend - a Scots Irish Methodist was walking around with supplies on hand at my dad's Christian funeral ceremony.

His church was a split off of a Baptist church my parents joined years ago and split from because of their attitude towards the GLBT community, unwed mothers, abortion, etc etc. and well - fire and brimstone. The funerals and Sunday service were still very very long - but no marginalizing took place.

A black American funeral is a marathon - you need someone there with bottled water.

[JI7]

4. i never heard of this before but you say it's cultural

and crosses personal beliefs since you are an atheist .

maybe it's similar to being a god parent ?

[brer cat]

7. I am sure you will attend to

your friend's family with the same respect and compassion that you showed her mother. As you comfort them in their time of grief you will also be assisting them on their way to healing. That must indeed be an humbling experience.

[gwheezie]

8. I will be there all day

I consulted with other people I know and I will have water, tissues, small snacks, Tylenol and napkins in my bag. I'll be there for the service and the repast.
I've been to services and funerals before with friends at their AA churches. Several times I've asked if we were being held for ransom.
The role of the nurse is to take care of the family. There will be several of us at this funeral.

[OneGrassRoot]

10. oh my gosh...

I read your OP and was reading each post in order. I'd never heard of this custom either and appreciate the explanations above. What a touching tradition, and what an honor for you to be asked to serve in this role.

JustAnotherGen clued me in above that AA funerals are long.

But when I read your comment -- "I've been to services and funerals before with friends at their AA churches. Several times I've asked if we were being held for ransom." -- I literally spit out the sip of water I just took.

Really!

Thanks for the chuckle.

Please let us know about this experience when you feel like it.

[Glassunion]

9. I don't envy you, but I do respect you.

It's not going to be an easy day, but it is quite the noble deed to offer comfort to those in need.