In what situations have you been conditioned to fear for your life?

[JustAnotherGen]

For those that have children - what have you taught them?


A few times in threads about the killer of Trayvon Martin - I've come across statements such as:

How many hits/smashed head on the sidewalk, did the killer have to take before he feared for his life?


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Me:

I was born in the 1970's - and I think Adam Walsh would be just a year or two older than me if he were alive now. I also remember the spectre of the double M Murders and the Atlanta Child Murders -


I was taught stranger danger. Say no, then go, then tell and all that jazz . . . If and when you can.

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I'm trying to determine if there is something among the African American community where perhaps we are taught about stranger danger at a different level? Is it the stories about long ago family lynchings whispered in corners at family reunions? Is it our parents teaching us to BOTP - Beware of the Police? I.E. Fear For Your Life even if it means life behind bars.

[NOLALady]

1. I guess I was about 10 in the 50's.

A cop car pulled up to the area where we were playing. They called one of the "big girls" to the car. I guess she was about 13. They drove off with her while other kids ran to tell her parents. Parents came out and sent all the kids home.

No adult ever told me exactly what happened to her. They were talking in whispers. Mothers were in tears. I kept hearing whispers of the word "rape". There was an atmosphere in the community of hopelessness and fear.
I never saw her again. Kids whispered that her parents sent her away to live with relatives far away from NOLA.

I don't really remember anyone telling me to fear cops. But, after that incident, I was terrified every time I saw a cop car. I knew they had the power to terrorize our community and bring us to our knees.

[Number23]

3. Oh my Lord

So you guys think it was the cops that raped that girl??

[NOLALady]

5. I think so.

But, none of the adults that I knew said anything. They were just extremely agitated. Talked in hush tones.

The kids would get together and tell the bits and pieces of what they heard and tried to make heads or tails of it. Some of the kids heard parents say that she was raped. At the time, I didn't know what the word 'rape' meant. That was a loss of innocence.

There was song out called "short shorts". Some locals were complaining about teen dress and threatening to pass a law against wearing short shorts. I asked another kid why was the police taking her away, she responded, Well, maybe her shorts were too short. Yes, we really believed the girl was taken by the police because her shorts were too short and they were going to put her in jail.

[Number23]

2. I grew up in Atlanta so the Atlanta child murders were a huge part of my life when I was a kid

I was the same age or younger than alot of those kids. One of my classmates' brother was among the victims. http://atkid.weebly.com/eddie-duncan.html

I think I have PTSD from all of that, to be honest with you. I'm pretty sure that my entire family, hell our entire community was completely traumatized by all of this.

My husband, growing up in sunny Australia, has no clue why I refuse to let our babies go even to the front yard of our house by themselves. I have also told him that as long as my legs work, they will never ride the school bus, walk to school or ride bikes to school. I will drive them myself if he's not able.

I've already had lots of talks with my six-year old about what to say to strangers and have made sure that she knows what our street address is. I bet you most of these parents around here aren't even THINKING about this kind of stuff. I wish I had the luxury of being so blissfully unaware but I learned a long time ago that I don't.

[onpatrol98]

4. Easily...

We were taught NOT to walk through CERTAIN neighborhoods PERIOD. Be in by a certain time, and when were not at our home BE AT someone else's. No roaming or driving around for the heck of it. We still drove around, but we were too broke to go far.

Kids are different today. They really haven't been raised, I don't believe, with that same level of fear.

I thought my parents were paranoid. My kids think I'm paranoid.

But, we took it deadly serious. Some kids would walk downtown late at night...you know, laugh and talk. My parents taught us that - that wasn't for everyone. If we walked downtown and someone's window was broken, they would assume we did it. So, don't be caught down there after hours. If you're not familiar with a neighborhood, don't go there. Not only don't walk there, don't drive through there.

I remember working a part time job in my early twenties and being offered a key, so I could open up and close down this little building I worked in. I didn't take it. Why? Because my parents were convinced, if something came up missing, they would assume I had it.

In a lot of ways, I'm glad my children don't have a lot of this in their heads. It really does change how you interact with people. But, on the other hand, there was a lot of self-preservation there. My parents were trying to keep me safe...but, paranoid. But, as safe as they knew how.

I was born in the 70s also. So, definitely, staying away from strangers. Now, it's a bit scarier because it's the people you know that can be crazier than the strangers.

[Jamaal510]

6. I was robbed at a bus stop

4 years ago on my way to a baseball game. It was around 6PM, and I was sitting at a bus stop on top of 73rd Avenue, listening to my iPod. A couple of thugs approached me, and one asked me when the next bus will come. Afterwards, the other one said "give up yo' shit or Imma' pop yo' ass", while flashing his gun. One of them sucker punched me, and they jacked me for my iPod, my hat, my dog tag that I was wearing, and my tickets. I called the police, but they weren't able to nab them.

If that situation taught me anything, it was to always be on alert, particularly when I see two or more guys walking my direction when I'm somewhere alone. No more listening to my iPod when I'm alone at bus stops. It also made me realize that I have no business going out alone at night in a city as rough as Oakland. I just read in the local paper several weeks ago that we are ranked 1st in robberies, which is really a shame. I shouldn't have to be afraid to walk around and go places by myself in the evening. It kinda sucks to essentially be beholden to a curfew every night.