Navigating White Supremacy is one of the most difficult parts of life as a Black person.

[brer cat]

This was posted on LOWPAWS (League Of White People Against White Supremacy, a closed FB group) by a friend of the author who gave permission to share. It is real and on point; it is raw and powerful. It literally took my breath away. For the allies here who need something to share with friends and acquaintances who just don't "get it", this is as clear as it gets.

I still struggle to wrap my head around the fact that I live under a system that does not require ANYONE to be mean to me in order to oppress me.

It's like I'm hanging off of a cliff, and there are nice white people sitting on the edge of the cliff, complimenting me on how nice my hair is, and telling me how smart I am, but NONE of them are trying to get me off the edge of the cliff. They're just sitting there, being nice, watching me slowly slip to my death.

Then, when I start yelling at these nice white people to help me, they don't understand. You have to understand something, I was BORN on the cliff. I've learned how to survive on this dangerous cliff, so to them, they see my learned survival as being "normal." They don't know what it's like to live on this cliff though. They just know I've always been there. They're like, "But I didn't put you on the cliff! You were already there when I got here. I've been so nice to you! How can you yell at me and be so mean to me?" Then I start feeling like shit. I start to believe I'm a bad person.

Then they do little things... like offer me a drink of water. Or hold one of my hands for 5 minutes. Just enough to feel like they did SOMETHING, so that they can hold that over my head when I start yelling for help again. They're like "but I'm not kicking dirt on you! I did something!" But is that enough?! Your minimal effort is doing nothing. Am I supposed to thank you for this basic shit you're doing? I'm not thankful, I'm tired and angry and dying.

I'M HANGING OFF A CLIFF AND NO ONE IS TRYING HARD ENOUGH TO SAVE ME! One person can't pull me off the edge. It will take several of yall nice white people to pull me back over. BUT YALL GOT TO OPEN YOUR MOUTH. YOU GOT TO WORK TOGETHER TO GET ME OFF THE CLIFF. Being nice to me ain't getting me off the cliff. Talking to ME about my life on the cliff ain't convincing other people to come help you get me off this cliff. You gotta talk and work with the other people who are with you. I can't tell you this nicely and hang on to this cliff. How else am I supposed to act? How patient am I required to be? These nice white people didn't put me here, but they are keeping here by doing nothing (or the bare minimum). How am I supposed to reconcile "nice people" with "allowing me to die from complicity?"

I can't. For my own survival, I can't. This shit has me so fucking depressed. I don't WANT to hate white people, but what other emotion am I supposed to derive from their actions?"

[Kind of Blue]

1. You really did join.

Bravo, brer cat, and thanks for sharing this. It's really dramatical and wonderful that core emotions and reason are expressed in LOWPAWS . Hopefully there's more of this and more answers as how not to hate white people, accept reality for what it is while working to change it individually and collectively.

[brer cat]

2. It took time and patience.

I requested to join in Oct. but wasn't accepted until Feb. after several requests and messages sent. I think I will find some useful information there and an opportunity share experiences with a group of people who would genuinely like to learn how to better address the issues of racism and white supremacy.

[OneGrassRoot]

5. I'm a member of that group...

but haven't posted anything.

Are you and I FB friends, I wonder? (I suck with real names and DU names)

[Kind of Blue]

8. All I can say is a heartfelt Thank-You

for not just joining but allowing us into the experience of how we're separately trying to work it out. It can't but help when we come together in unison for humanity

[Number23]

3. You are so freaking fabulous. I am in awe of you joining this group

I hope that you bring whatever you learn/discuss to DU often. Like, REGULARLY. This place needs it.

[lovemydog]

9. Thank you

and everyone else here. I'm grateful how much I learn and grow here reading & sometimes participating in this group. It feels good.

[Number23]

11. You are so freaking fabulous too

But I tell you that all the time!

[lovemydog]

12. And I still love

hearing it. I think with all the negativity in the world (and that includes the online buffoons who seem to think personal insults somehow give them a badge of being 'cool' when we all know it actually makes them weak bullies) we can't hear enough sincere compliments. I love you and all my friend here in this group!

[yardwork]

4. I'm listening. What can I do?

I'm a white woman, mid-50s, married to a Latina woman. As gay people we know a little about oppression. As a person of color, she knows more. Neither of us is African American, though. It's different. That history of oppression is very specific, very long-lived, built into the economy and culture of the United States, especially the south where we live.

I realize that ya'll have been asked this a zillion times before, and you're probably bored to death that another white person is asking what they can do, but I am sincere. Tell me what I can do and I'll do it to the best of my ability.

(Note to other white people reading: I've noticed that one of the problems, when somebody asks this question and African Americans take the time to answer, is that white people jump into the thread and say "I don't do that!!!" So I'm asking my fellow white folks not to that. Even if we are offended or hurt let's keep it to ourselves and listen. Just listen. Follow up questions for clarity are allowed but let's try not to be defensive, 'kay? Thanks in advance.)

[OneGrassRoot]

6. ...

I love your whole post but especially this part:

Neither of us is African American, though. It's different. That history of oppression is very specific, very long-lived, built into the economy and culture of the United States, especially the south where we live.

[yardwork]

13. Thank you. You are very kind.

I appreciate being welcomed here.

[brer cat]

7. I am also white

and live in the south. I read in this group and joined LOWPAWS to learn more about what white people need to be doing, and the best ways to approach other people to try and make them understand white supremacy.

I am almost 70 and I find it appalling that we are still wondering what to do, like we haven't learned anything in all these decades. I agree 100% with you about the defensiveness. I read, I think on LOWPAWS, that if your first response is defensive, then you know you are part of the problem. Right! As stated so well in this OP, being nice or holding hands and singing kumbaya doesn't cut it. I have never felt that I made much progress talking with people, so I hope to learn how to do that more effectively.

[lovemydog]

10. Know that you have allies here.

Develop & strengthen friendships in real life too. There's no substitute for dear friends who have each others' backs. Maybe reach out through a meet up group or a local church or whatever makes you comfortable. It doesn't necessarily have to be to talk about race issues. It can be anything you most enjoy. Just my two cents for what it's worth. You rock brer cat. If you lived in my neighborhood I'd probably bring you a cake or something just for all your cool posts!

[Kind of Blue]

14. Really good article that you may

consider sharing at LOWPAWS.

GRIEVING THE WHITE VOID

In 1990, Professor Janet E. Helms presented an illuminating model of White racial identity development. According to Helms’ framework, after White people discover that race really does matter and that its effects directly contradict narratives of equality and freedom that are deeply engrained in White American culture, many of us go through what’s called the “reintegration” phase:

At this point the desire to be accepted by one’s own racial group, in which the overt or covert belief in White superiority is so prevalent, may lead to a reshaping of the person’s belief system to be more congruent with an acceptance of racism. The guilt and anxiety may be redirected in the form of fear and anger directed toward people of color who are now blamed as the source of discomfort.

Denial is a feature found in another facet of the human psychological experience: GRIEF - (my emphasis). When I compare the famous Kubler-Ross model of grieving to the stages of White racial identity development, it appears that these two processes, while overly generalized and linear, resonate with one another, and generally match my own life experiences.

The parallel between these two processes has been highlighted in passing by anti-racist educator Jane Elliott, who proposes that White people who confront racism are forced to grieve the loss of power that comes with ending racism. I believe that Elliott is right, but here I would like to explore a different, more profound kind of grief — the grief of a person who was not allowed to develop into a full human being.

https://medium.com/@abelateiner/grieving-the-white-void-48c410fdd7f3#.uclmge9sj

[ismnotwasm]

15. Love that

And I agree. To be anti-racist and white-- it isn't enough to just say it, it has to be an experience and an effort.

[Kind of Blue]

16. I don't know where I read recently

that we should resurrect the term abolitionist that seems to cover anti-racist and white, as well anti-racist and whatever a person's phenotype

[JustAnotherGen]

17. Kick!