Weapons of war: The lighter side
As we march, seemingly inexorably, towards possible war with Syria, it should be noted that there are very few jokes about war and battle. This is for a very good reason - war is not a joking matter.
Usually.
What follows is the only joke I've ever heard on the subject, and when told in person it's even funnier.
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A soldier was last in line to be issued his rifle at the supply tent. When he finally got to the front of the line, the supply sergeant apologized and said they had run out of rifles. Handing the soldier a broomstick, he directed him to point it at the enemy and say, "Bangity-bangity-bang!" The soldier was understandably skeptical, but as he had no other option he took the broomstick and headed out into the field.
He waited anxiously in his foxhole, and suddenly an enemy soldier appeared out of the nearby bushes. Pointing his broomstick, at the top of his lungs he yelled "Bangity-bangity-bang!" To his complete surprise, the enemy soldier fell down dead. Another enemy soldier soon followed the first, and, with more confidence this time, he again pointed his broomstick and yelled "Bangity-bangity-bang!" The enemy soldier fell down dead just like the first.
At that very moment a somewhat larger enemy soldier came through the bushes with no weapon at all, marching steadily and deliberately towards him. He pointed his broomstick, yelling "Bangity-bangity-bang!" But this had no effect on the enemy soldier. Again he pointed it, aiming more carefully this time and shouting even louder: "Bangity-bangity-bang!" Still the enemy soldier appeared unaffected and continued marching towards him.
Completely bewildered, the soldier didn't even think to run, and the enemy soldier pushed him down and began trampling him. As he lay there dying, his bones crushed, he could hear the enemy soldier muttering under his breath:
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"Tankity-tankity-tank!"
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