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Sat Mar 13, 2021, 06:34 PM

Gene Weingarten: What is Trump's eternal fate? The Legions of Darkness have some thoughts.

Note: This is posted in the Humor Group.

Exclusive! I have obtained the minutes of a meeting with Satan and his loyal staff, the Legions of Darkness, following the death of Donald John Trump on April 1, 2031. (I have very good sources.)

Satan: Where shall we place the sinner? To which concentric circle of The Abode of the Damned does he rightly belong?

Theophrastus the Pederast: Surely in mine, the second ring, which is reserved for “carnal malefactors” — people consumed by lust. Behold his crimes: serial marriages to connubially attractive, vastly younger, generously bosomed women with silky yellow hair. Groping! Porn stars! Uninvited kissy-face. Plus, the sinner has been known to wear mirrors on the tops of his shoes for wanton upskirting.

Evilthorpe the Degenerate: YOU MADE THAT LAST THING UP.

Theophrastus the Pederast: Well, he made up many things, so who cares? My circle includes liars. Also, panderers, seducers, traffickers in flattery, false prophets, braggarts and thieves. He called the porcine baby-faced beast of North Korea, a man who has exploded his political enemies with antiaircraft rockets, “terrific.” He once held a meeting in which his fawning Cabinet members called him “great” 32 times. Also Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are residents of my circle. He’ll like it there.

Read more: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/gene-weingarten-what-is-trumps-eternal-fate-the-legions-of-darkness-have-some-thoughts/2021/03/04/9d1cf7d2-7221-11eb-85fa-e0ccb3660358_story.html

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