A Mean Drunk

[MicaelS]

Two men were sitting at a bar at the top of a skyscraper. Both were bending their elbows at a steady rate. The first man said, “You know, there’s such an updraft on the outside of this building, that if you jump off, you’ll fall for a bit, but the updraft will catch you, and bring you right back up to this balcony.

The second guy said, “I don’t believe it, you’ll have to prove this to me.”

So the first guy goes over the balcony and jumps off. He falls and falls and falls, and then he slows in mid drop, and begins rising back up. Finally, he lightly steps back onto the balcony. “See, I told you,” he says.

The second guy says, “I’ve got to try that.” So he jumps off the balcony, and falls and falls and falls and falls. Finally, splat on the ground.

The first guy returns to the bar and orders another drink.

As he serves the drink, the bartender says, “You’re a mean drunk, Superman.”

[krispos42]

1. Superman is flying over Metropolis...

...when he spies Wonder Woman on a rooftop. He uses his super-vision, and sees that she's naked, writhing on a lounge chair, and pleasuring herself. The sight of her body inflames his passions, and he thinks "Hell, I have super-speed! I can zip down there, do her, and fly away before anybody even knows I'm there!"

So he blitzes in, has sex with her, and vanishes over the horizon, all in an instant.

Wonder Woman, started, sits up and looks around.

"What the hell was that?" she wonders.

"I don't know," grumbled the Invisible Man, "but man, my ass hurts all of a sudden!"

[Angry Dragon]

2. +40782

[Euromutt]

3. One guy sidles up another guy in a bar

The first guy says, "Your mother sucks my cock."
The second guy ignores him.
The first redoubles his effort, "I fuck your mother on the kitchen table."
Again, the second guy ignores him.
The first guy leans in and hisses, "I fuck your mother in her ass!"
The second guy finally turns to the first and says, "Dad, you're drunk. Go home already."