What has helped you to become a better person?

[Htom Sirveaux]

I'd love to hear about anything and everything that has contributed to your growth as a human being, whether it be religious or secular.

[Autumn]

1. The book series Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch

Reading those changed the way I see things.

[Sedona]

2. Motherhood

and setting a good example for my three daughters.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

3. Getting away from Christianity which destroyed my self-esteem.

Getting the strength to stand up and walk out on sermons by preachers telling me I was a worthless piece of shit and that the only solution was to accept Jesus.

I learned to not accept authority figures who were busy tearing people down in order to control them and get their money.

[freepotter]

11. ^This

and finding Buddhism and the love of my life. My guiding belief: Question authority!

[Manifestor_of_Light]

17. I've studied Buddhism.

Difficult but practical.

[DrewFlorida]

4. More than anything, my children and my conscience!

When my first child was born I had no direction in my life. Thinking about what I wanted my child to see me doing and saying caused me to grow up and change my behaviors. It caused me to give thought to what was important in life, and gradually because of the love I had for my two sons I became a loving compassionate decent human being!

[peacebird]

5. Plus one!

[cilla4progress]

31. Very beautiful.

Thank you.

[shenmue]

6. My Mom and Dad, books, music, and vodka

[Manifestor_of_Light]

7. My passion for music.

[KT2000]

8. Illness

had to rethink everything and make choices.

[cbayer]

9. People in my life that continued to love me...

even when I was at my most unlovable.

[pinto]

40. +1

Been there.

[cbayer]

43. I know you have, my dear friend.

[AtheistCrusader]

10. Milk.

[AtheistCrusader]

12. Ok, the milk thing was sort of a joke.

But upon reflection, I would say first and foremost; opportunity.

Growing up, my family was not rich by any means, but middle class enough that we never wanted for food/shelter/clothes. That's a hell of an opportunity for growth right there, for which I am grateful.

The expertise and knowledge that I picked up, the skills that I honed as a kid/teen that have served me so well in my professional career? Would have been a hell of a lot harder to pick up on an empty stomach, you know?

So, I'd say good old fashioned middle-class opportunity. I sincerely wish everyone got the same.

[pinto]

42. I hear that.

I've had a rocky road of sorts, but that start stayed with me.

[PassingFair]

13. My father

....with his unflagging good nature and unconditional love.

As a parent, I strive to be as much like him as possible.

He's been gone for 17 years, but bits and pieces peek out in my daughters' words and actions

😀

[hrmjustin]

14. My parents for the most part.

Other family as well but mainly my parents. a few teachers made a lasting impact as well.

[840high]

15. Cancer. It made

me appreciate my loved ones more. It made me open up to the beauty of simple things such as the color of grass. It also brought me back to God.

[Promethean]

16. Time.

The older I get the more I look back at the decisions I made and think about how stupid they were or how I could have done things better.

[delrem]

18. reflection on what I've done, repeated reflection as time passes and experience grows.

Nothing remotely connected with ...isms, including secularism.
Nothing remotely connected with national politics.

[LeftishBrit]

19. My parents to start with...

Lots of people who have been kind to me or to others, and served as examples.

Sometimes people who were negative role models, ranging from a bullying teacher whom I had at age 8, to Margaret Thatcher in my late teens and early adulthood, as they showed me what I didn't want to be like.

And as AtheistCrusader says, adequate nutrition and (eventually) medical care. I have a chronic physical illness since childhood, that took a long time to diagnose, and I'm sure often made me difficult and cranky; so I'm doubtless a nicer as well as a healthier person since I started being treated properly, so thank you, Dr. D.!

[Act_of_Reparation]

20. A better person than who?

This strikes me as a meaningless and ultimately cynical question.

[Htom Sirveaux]

24. A better person than you previously were. nt

[Act_of_Reparation]

46. A better person than I previously was?

When?

[demwing]

21. having children

helped me become more empathetic, more patient, more conscious of my behavior, more aware of my limitations, more honest, and more caring, and more open to the value of wonder.

It also gave me a renewed appreciation of Legos and Crayons

[Fumesucker]

22. Many of the things others have mentioned but additionally a sense of wonder

I got into astronomy when my age was only in the single digits, about eight or nine as I recall. Astronomy above all gives you the long view when you come to realize that looking up in the sky on a clear Moonless night you can see light with the unaided eye that left its source at about the same time our distant ancestors came out of the trees. You understand in a deep way that our shared cosmos and our tiny spaceship Earth was here long before you ever existed and will be here long after you are only dust in the wind.

[Htom Sirveaux]

25. Facts like those seem too large to connect with in a meaningful way, at least to me.

Can you expand on the connection between wonder and personal growth?

[Fumesucker]

45. I learned a long time ago that many of the elements of life quite literally came from the stars

And our bodies will eventually return to our star in due course.

Then we will all be as one.

I'm not a theist but it seems clear to me that if we are a creation of a god or gods then the fact we have intelligence and self awareness means we are supposed to use it.

I was in the delivery room when my child was born and I was the first one to look into her eyes, even before her mother. I got a sense of great wonder and connectedness from that as well.

Teaching my grandkids things they don't or won't learn in school, how to skip a rock on the water, how to fly a kite so high it specks out, where to find and how to catch crayfish in the creek, how to tell a possum nest from a squirrel nest, pointing out the constellations and teaching them the names of the brighter stars, Alnitak, Regulus, Vega, Altair, Deneb, Alnilam, Bellatrix, Rigel, Procyon, Mirphak, Capella, showing them how and why Polaris stays in the same spot in the sky the entire night and day and how to use the Big Dipper as a pointer to Polaris so on any clear night you always can know which way is North (in this hemisphere anyway).

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=280x49809

[guillaumeb]

30. "dust in the wind"

that would make a nice title for a song.

just saying

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

36. Geology did that for me.

Seeing the fossil record, knowing about the extinctions, learning to envision the slow changes in rocks over millions of years, the accumulation of sediment. Humans are but a blip in the record, barely even noticeable.

[Warren Stupidity]

23. cucumber radish and ginger smoothies.

well at least they have made me a much more regular person.

[elleng]

26. My parents.

[guillaumeb]

27. trying to eliminate anger as a response to situations

in favor of understanding why people respond as they do.

And realizing that even though some people do not like butter pecan iced cream that does not make them wrong. (Does indicate a lack of taste)

[Htom Sirveaux]

28. Where do you find the patience that

gives you the time to understand rather than react?

[guillaumeb]

29. I said trying, not always doing.

I try to follow Jesus' example. Judging is so easy to do and so easy to do wrong.

I was a union representative for 33 years. A smart older representative/mentor told me one time to never react with anger no matter what the provocation from a manager. He said to try and listen and ask yourself why the manager was taking a position. Then try to persuade.

Plus, as I used to explain to other, younger representatives when I was a mentor/teacher, if you tell the manager that he/she is a fool, what are you accomplishing? Anger is not conducive to negotiation. You might be correct, the manager might be a fool, but you are trying to accomplish something for the person you are representing, not scoring points in a game with the manager.

More importantly, do you agree about butter pecan iced cream?

[Htom Sirveaux]

35. It's pretty good.

I like my ice cream to involve peanut butter or cookie dough, but butter pecan is also nice.

I prefer the diplomatic approach myself, but I do so much better if I have time and space to reflect. In the moment, the anger is stronger.

[guillaumeb]

38. anger is strong

probably the primitive "fight or flight reflex" that is hardwired into us.

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

32. The internet.

Which gave me a place to sit and actually listen to people I don't know, who can't see me, don't even know I'm listening unless I speak up. To hear them talking about the struggles they face day in and day out, many of which are struggles I'll never know firsthand, can never know firsthand, by reason of my gender, my skin tone, my sexual preferences, my gender self-identification. So that I could become aware of how the 'status quo' of American society is tilted in so many ways, most of which disadvantage people who differ from me.

It has introduced me to people in need in places I'll never visit, allowed me to help various of them, if not to step up out of poverty, at least to keep surviving in places where those around them, indeed those elected to office to represent them would probably prefer them simply to starve and die.

And reminded me constantly of my own struggles with the darker parts of myself, seeing my own behaviours on display both in my own words and those of others who act and think in similar ways.

[Skittles]

33. reading Ann Frank's diary when I was 14

I thought she was amazing

[cilla4progress]

34. Reading these insightful responses

(great question) - I think yes, reflection; and also have a perspective. Which kind of go together.

As to any -isms, probably only Taosim, if any. Which I know only a tiny bit of. Also secular humanism. And paganism.

And animals. Anything vulnerable, including being a parent.

[pinto]

37. Family and friends that helped me be a truer person, not better or worse, but real. And the dying.

And humbler, in some ways.

Many have been by my side for a while. That time is invaluable. One, in particular, is my best friend. She and I have been around lots and lots of blocks together and separately. And we've stuck it out with each other for 30 years. Some of them rocky. We've seen each other at our best and our worst. And some of the adventures are known only to us, as they should be. LOL. She's a straight woman, a mother. I'm a single gay guy. We laugh about our long friendship and whatever perceptions have been out there over the years. Yet, between us there's been an honesty and mutual support that stands on its own.

The same goes for others in my life. I live individually and some of the best influences in my life are reciprocal.

Have spent quite a lot of time in my day with people who were dying, on their way out, going home, coming in for a landing, bitter at the turn of events, reflective, etc. - everyone sees it differently in my experience. To a one, each of them helped me be a better person. I was often awed to be a part of their time. I learned to say "Thank you".

And mean it.

[Htom Sirveaux]

44. The predominent theme of this thread seems to be "other people help you grow".

I love the beautiful things that people have expressed, but it also makes me wonder: what do introverts with complicated relationships to their upbringing and no children do to grow?

[kimbutgar]

39. Having an autistic son

The things I have experienced, the good and bad people I've met because of him and the challenges of keeping myself and marriage together have made me a stronger person.

[Htom Sirveaux]

41. I'll bet. I've known a few autistic children.

I see the good in them, but I also can't imagine the strength required to provide the amount of support they need on the deep level of parenthood.

My hat's off to you.