A strongly theist family member lost a good friend to cancer recently and I'm puzzled

[Fumesucker]

The outpouring of grief has been something to behold for the last week and judging by previous experiences it's going to go on for weeks more if not longer and the rest of us will get to suffer right along with them.

This is someone who is absolutely convinced of some sort of Christian interpretation of the Bible and I'm positive they believe they will be seeing their friend in heaven.

The only reason the friend wasn't in constant excruciating agony was due to pain meds, their quality of life has been zip for months. The death was a relief to most of us, not glad to see them go but glad they were no longer suffering and I say that as someone a lot closer to the end of my life than the beginning.

Why do some people who think they will see their friends and loved ones soon in heaven carry on so?

[randys1]

1. Good question, given in some cases this faith is SO STRONG they are willing to nitpick

passages of their book to DENY OTHERS EQUALITY

I would like to know as well

[Kalidurga]

2. Well as children we carry on when going to school for the first time

Or when our children go for the first time. We know we are going to see each other again. We carry on when we go to summer camp not really everyone, but some kids do and their parents do they know they will see each other again. We carry on when we graduate from high school even though most people will still see their good friends again.

However, we don't usually go into full mourning and have a traditional mourning period for short separations. So, I think it's that thing where you don't know when you will see them again. You know for sure it won't be in this life.

Also, I am pretty sure every single person of faith has doubts if they are even reasonably intelligent.

[sammythecat]

9. Nice response.

I've wondered about this just like the OP. I think your examples pretty much answered the question as far as I'm concerned. Common sense that never occurred to me even though I think about this kind of stuff all the time.

[Warpy]

3. Because they all have doubts

Either they realize that everybody makes mistakes and fundy god is a punitive jerk or they have doubts about the whole business. Besides, they're going to miss that person in the meantime, that's the main reason they're carrying on.

Some Buddhist funerals have an element of celebration, especially when the decedent is an old person who has been trapped in a non functional, painful body for a long time. Buddhists think Grandma has been reborn into a brand new body. It also makes them treat little kids better since one of them might be their beloved Grandma, reborn.

I'm with you, dying will be that last adventure. I do admit that if all I find is some nasty, nekkid Santa Claus on a cloud reciting my earthly sins from his heavenly book, I will be sorely disappointed in the nature of the universe.

[SusanCalvin]

4. It doesn't make any sense, does it? nt

[Runningdawg]

5. Yep

I don't get it either. I'm Native, but with diverse friends. I don't go to their funerals. Our funerals are a celebration of life. We have a feast, dance and sing and then give away presents to the family. There is nothing wrong with the way they do it, I just can't sit through it. I don't want my last memory of the dead person, to be of them in their coffin, and their family and friends in such pain.

[TexasProgresive]

6. Maybe your kin was convince that the friend would not die because of faith.

This is doubling up the normal dose of grief; a crisis of faith and mourning the passing of a friend. I am a theist as well and I don't believe there is any alternative to death, but some people convince themselves that corporal death can be beaten by faith. Why they believe so is anyone's guess.

People grieve differently. Some overtly and others it is more hidden from others. All may be deep or less so. Everyone is different.

[Mariana]

7. I've never understood it either.

When a Christian gets diagnosed with, say, terminal cancer, why are there always requests for prayers for healing and such? Why aren't they congratulated instead: "You lucky duck, you get to go to Heaven in only six months!" Why pursue medical treatment at all, except to relieve pain and suffering? It's really weird that when they get a chance to go to Heaven handed to them on a silver platter, most of them do everything in their power NOT to go!

[Liberal Jesus Freak]

8. As a christian...

I don't get it, either. I have had more than my share of losses. I miss them...mourned and grieved for them...but did it privately and with the assumption they were in a better place than I am (not in Texas ) I focus on being a better person--loving, forgiving, "Jesus" stuff!--and don't worry too much about life after death. I just wish hypocrisy wasn't what people think of when they hear "christian".

I hope your grieving process is full of good memories of your loved one and tolerance and grace for those who are, shall we say, grief-challenged

[goldent]

10. People are emotional - they cry at weddings too.

[daleo]

11. Religiosity and fear of death are positively correlated

Those with a greater fear of death are drawn more to religion, seeking comfort. But it doesn't make the fear go away.

[Marrah_G]

12. ecause grief is a human emotion

Even religion cannot erase that, though it does try.

[gcomeau]

13. A lot of the strongest "believers"

...are that way precisely because they're the least capable of facing the issue of human mortality.