Who goes to heaven?

[trotsky]

Link to tweet

[TlalocW]

1. Are you going to be happy in Heaven

When you realize that some of your loved ones didn't make it? If yes, is it really you then?

TlalocW

[vlyons]

2. Where exactly IS heaven?

I didn't see it on any google map. Not on a star map either.

[zipplewrath]

3. West of Eden

Hang a right when you get there.

[vlyons]

5. How far West?

Would that be "somewhere over the rainbow?"

As a Buddhist, I think heaven (ditto hell) is a state of mind, a point of view. So right here, right now, could be heaven (or hell, or neither) depending on how I choose to see it. What do you choose to see right now?

[Corvo Bianco]

4. Don't forget that Heaven sucks super hard there is no fight, no progress. Just everlasting boredom

with a sanctimonious white dude who wants adoration.

[Croney]

6. Who decides which loved ones I see again in heaven?

What if I want to hang out with old lovers, will my husband get to veto that, and if not, how can he be happy in heaven, which is mandatory? And if an old lover doesn't want me, and therefore I'm not happy, will I get booted out, and if so, to where?

So glad I'm an atheist. Lol

[marylandblue]

7. These questions are not hard to answer

Last edited Thu Mar 29, 2018, 11:24 PM - Edit history (1)

Dogs go to heaven. In fact, if your dog doesn't sponsor you, you don't get in, so load up on your treats. Cat lovers, sorry, cats don't go to your heaven, but the good news is they each go to their own cat heavens where they are worshipped by billions of tasty mice who are in mouse hell.

Wild animals, including extinct animals. Herbivores go to heaven. Carnivores go to hell, where they eternally eat the souls of sinners. Omnivores go to purgatory.

Hominids. Those covered 50% or more in hair are treated as animals, less than 50% as humans. Very hairy homo sapiens are advised to shave before dying.

Which version of you goes to heaven? The one that looks like Brad Pitt of course. In hell, everyone looks like Donald Trump.

Any more questions?

[Major Nikon]

8. Should I shave my balls?

[Binkie The Clown]

9. Atheists always go to heaven.

Christians get reincarnated over and over until they wise up and become atheists so they can finally get into heaven.

That's my theory and I'm sticking by it.

[guillaumeb]

10. Pathetic.

[trotsky]

11. Well, do dogs go to heaven?

What do you think, gil?

[MineralMan]

12. That's the only response you have?

Really?

[guillaumeb]

14. The only response that was needed.

[NeoGreen]

13. No one does (nt)