Please take my question in for a minute.

[Chickensoup]

If Jesus or any any other biblical
Prophet was living in America today
Would any of them be a republican???

[underthematrix]

1. I think you meant prophet

[Chickensoup]

2. Thanks, sometimes my phone does

What it wants.

[underthematrix]

9. I know exactly what you mean. The spelling thing drives me crazy.

[4139]

3. muhammad!

Just want freeper lurkers’ heads to explode

[Voltaire2]

4. Why not?

[Chickensoup]

11. It is a question of hypocrisy of believe and practice.

[Voltaire2]

16. How would you know what side your gods are on?

[malchickiwick]

5. You get that most Biblical prophets were homophobic, misogynistic, baby-killing degenerates, right?

Methinks they'd fit right in.

[Chickensoup]

8. uthinks very interesting stuff.

[Pope George Ringo II]

6. Neither group represents the good guys, so, sure.

[Chickensoup]

12. Wow.

[Pope George Ringo II]

13. The Satan character's body count for the entire mythology is ten people

And half of that was acting as the Jehovah Monster's henchman in the Job caper. Still, let's give him full responsibility for the five he killed on the Jehovah Monster's dare: Ten total kills. On the plus side, his first appearance was as a very Promethean knowledge-bringer type of character. Besides, Luke Skywalker killed a few stormtroopers too, so what the heck.

2 Kings 2:23-24. Forty-two children murdered for calling one of these prophets bald. Considering that by itself that represents more than four times the Satan character's total kill count, it's hard to see how they're supposed to be the good guys when they run around murdering dozens of children over a few laughs about baldness. It's been a while since I read the mythology, but I'm having a hard time thinking of any combination of things the Satan character did which is as bad as freaking murdering forty-two children over some bald jokes. It seems pretty Republican, if we're honest.

[NeoGreen]

23. Never forget the...

...Amalekites...
http://biblehub.com/1_samuel/15-3.htm

Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.'"

[trotsky]

25. Don't you mean "wow, just wow"? n/t

[Heddi]

29. I see what you did there

I see it.

[UnTied]

7. Prophets

I am tickled to see folks mentioning the prophets. Really, if the (small c) republican christians would read the Bible in its entirety they would see(in Revelations in particular) that false prophets are to come to make way for Satan to come and reek havoc with the true believers. They SHOULD see that they are being encouraged to see good in cutting $ for essential services, finding ways to make starving the poor look "responsible". IF I were that religious, that would scare me. BUT, the Republican party has had a mission for over 40 yrs to frame liberals and DEMs as godless, worthless snowflakes. It worked. Conservatives think we are weak.
Mentioning false prophets should bend some ears.

[Chickensoup]

10. Great insight.

[Mariana]

14. Of course most of them would be Republicans, if they had to choose.

As already pointed out, they tended to be misogynistic and homophobic. They were also generally racist, genocidal, approved of slavery, and thought group-participation torture-executions were a dandy way to punish criminals.

What do you think they would choose?

[Chickensoup]

18. I am so glad I asked the question.

I have learned a lot by picking your brain.
you and the others opened my thought
process and elevated it.

[Act_of_Reparation]

15. No. And they wouldn't be Democrats, either.

Because try as though you'd like, you can't pigeonhole bronze and iron age primitves into our modern political paradigm. Not everything they said jives with modern conservatism, and even less of what they said jives with modern liberalism. Maybe instead of looking for guidance from people who lived and died more than a millennia before our nation was founded, we should look to political scientists, sociologists, and policy wonks otherwise familiar with newfangled shit like "representative democracy" and "infrastructure".

[Chickensoup]

19. Thanks for expanding our horizons .

[Act_of_Reparation]

22. Anytime!

[Heddi]

31. tee hee hee

I garontee this one will end up...well...skewered like the rest...sooner or later.

[Lordquinton]

17. I'm sure some of them would be

Jesus would be condemning politicians in general, Democrats included. Muhammad was rather convert or else Abraham, well... He was ready to kill his own son for the voices in his head, Republicans might be too liberal for him.

We know Joseph Smith would be a republican.

[Chickensoup]

20. Before I asked the question to myself

I thought I had a clear answer.
After reading your and the other replies
I am back to the drawing board
Thanks.

[3Hotdogs]

21. The God of Abraham would do quite well in the Republican Party.

"Go and kill your son.

What? Well then go make Jose's kids miserable."

[No Vested Interest]

24. WWJD? nt

[edhopper]

26. Paul would be

[trotsky]

27. Why does it matter?

Arguing about whose political party is favored by god is a pointless exercise that solves NOTHING.

If your religion helps you live a better life, fine. But keep it out of politics, please. Use reasoned arguments to support policy, not divine edicts.

[Chickensoup]

33. Why does it matter? You asked.

Because half of Trump supporters do it
on religious grounds. They want
School prayers. No gay rights. They want to takes us back to the dark Ages.
Curtailing scientific knowledge such as genetic research to cure diseases and many more denials of our rights and freedoms.
Just listen to Sundays Evangelical TV
programs. We have to learn their language
before they rule us.

[trotsky]

34. So can you prove that they're wrong about god, and you're right?

Didn't think so.

That's the problem.

[MineralMan]

28. There is no possible answer.

It is impossible to say. They are not living in America today. We do not even know if they lived at any time with certainty. Finally, at the time they supposedly lived, there was nothing even close to equivalent to today's culture or government.

[Heddi]

32. Back so soon

[muriel_volestrangler]

35. Jonah, perhaps?

The moral of his tale is that you shouldn't demand others are horribly punished, and you shouldn't be disappointed when they repent and are forgiven. Especially when you yourself were a sinner earlier in your life.

While he is officially called a 'prophet', his main function is to show what people ought not to do.