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Tue Dec 25, 2018, 12:47 AM

"Nice Of You F****** To Show Up For Once" Points Out Priest At Midnight Mass

A PRIEST, foregoing the unsteady truce between the clergy and Christmas mass goers, which involves pretending that he recognises everyone in attendance, has confirmed that it was ‘nice of you fuckin’ sin-soaked heathens to show up I suppose’.

Spitting on the floor in their general direction, Fr. Willy Macken told parishioners of St. Declan’s church that they are ‘free to take the piss by putting your best Holy heads on’ but that he then reserved the right to ‘call out the fuckers who wouldn’t know a prayer of the fateful if it bit them in the arse’.

“Some of you are clearly just here, dressed up to the nines so that your ex girlfriend or boyfriend can catch sight of you and think ‘oh, fuck I miss them’ but you know what, fuck the lot of yous,” Fr. Macken added, deviating from Pope Francis’s Vatican approved Christmas mass script.

Fr. Macken, keenly aware of the fact that almost everyone in attendance had lost interest in the mass once he mentioned Jesus, religion and general holiness, rushed through his service as he confessed to having ‘about as much interest in this charade as you future Hell dwellers’.


http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2016/12/24/nice-of-you-fuckers-to-show-up-for-once-points-out-priest-at-midnight-mass/



18 replies, 3218 views

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Arrow 18 replies Author Time Post
Reply "Nice Of You F****** To Show Up For Once" Points Out Priest At Midnight Mass (Original post)
Pope George Ringo II Dec 2018 OP
hibbing Dec 2018 #1
Pope George Ringo II Dec 2018 #4
3Hotdogs Dec 2018 #2
Pope George Ringo II Dec 2018 #3
Haggis for Breakfast Dec 2018 #5
Pope George Ringo II Dec 2018 #6
Haggis for Breakfast Dec 2018 #7
Pope George Ringo II Dec 2018 #9
htuttle Dec 2018 #8
Pope George Ringo II Dec 2018 #10
Fortinbras Armstrong Dec 2018 #11
Voltaire2 Dec 2018 #12
Fortinbras Armstrong Dec 2018 #18
Iggo Dec 2018 #13
MineralMan Dec 2018 #14
PassingFair Dec 2018 #15
MineralMan Dec 2018 #16
Karadeniz Dec 2018 #17

Response to Pope George Ringo II (Original post)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 12:59 AM

1. Hmmmm...perhaps he should look at his own house n/t

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Response to hibbing (Reply #1)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 01:02 AM

4. It may not be entirely serious.

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Response to Pope George Ringo II (Original post)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 01:00 AM

2. Is this the British Onion?

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Response to 3Hotdogs (Reply #2)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 01:01 AM

3. Irish.

The story underneath is about the Queen taking control of the government.

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Response to Pope George Ringo II (Original post)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 01:03 AM

5. Dear Holy Father

Bless me for I have sinned. Thank you for this post. I read through the entire thing and laughed my arse off. The "quote" from the Queen about made me choke.

I really needed this.

Peace be with you.

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Response to Haggis for Breakfast (Reply #5)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 01:06 AM

6. Glad to be of service.

They're pretty demented. Foul-mouthed, but quite demented.

All I will say about the Queen story is that my oath of allegiance was to the Queen, not the Prime Minister.

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Response to Pope George Ringo II (Reply #6)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 01:13 AM

7. Demented works ! Everybody needs a hobby.

I have always cherished my Irish relatives for their ability to find the humor in any situation. My parents (long divorced) were a match made in Hell. My Mum is a Scot, Dad is Welsh. Try and picture MY childhood. If it weren't for the Irishmen who were kind enough to marry into our family, I don't think I'd have made it this far.

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Response to Haggis for Breakfast (Reply #7)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 01:18 AM

9. As an Irish citizen, I'm proud to say the Irish are used to dealing with adversity.

Outrage As Thousands Of Irish Women Waiting Up To 9 Months To Give Birth

THE HSE has come under fire yet again today after a detailed report found that thousands of women are waiting up to 9 months to give birth in Irish hospitals, WWN can confirm.

The shocking report found that the large majority of expecting mothers are being “fobbed off” by national hospitals every few weeks, with many women left to suffer swollen ankles and various other ailments including piles, nausea, high blood pressure and even swollen abdomens.

“I keep going in there every month and all they do is scan my belly and tell me to come back again in four weeks – it’s a fucking disgrace,” one pregnant mother told WWN, “they don’t seem too compassionate about it either. The actually enjoy the pain we’re in and even laugh and joke about it every time I go in”.

Upon further investigation by this fine publication, WWN reporters were astounded to find hundreds of women suffering from extremely large torsos as a result of the HSE’s neglect, however, staff at the hospital defended their treatment of the women.


http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2018/12/21/outrage-as-thousands-of-irish-women-waiting-up-to-9-months-to-give-birth/

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Response to Pope George Ringo II (Original post)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 01:15 AM

8. Father Jack has something to say



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Response to htuttle (Reply #8)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 01:19 AM

10. Relax and have some tea.

Go on. Go on, go on, go on, go on...

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Response to Pope George Ringo II (Original post)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 08:10 AM

11. This is supposed to be funny. It's not. It's bigoted.

Can you imagine the reaction if something similar were written about a rabbi on Yom Kippur? But then, anti-Christian bigotry is perfectly acceptable on DU -- look at the atheists who infest the Religion group (who spew bigoted remarks about believers, but get the vapors when someone has the temerity to say "that's bigoted".

And before some idiot says, "You have no sense of humor", it's not true. I am just solidly opposed to bigotry of any sort. My mother was Jewish and her parents were killed in Auschwitz. My younger brother is gay. My daughter-in-law is African-American. I have Asperger's. All of us know what it is to be discriminated against.

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Response to Fortinbras Armstrong (Reply #11)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 08:19 AM

12. You have no sense of humor.

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Response to Voltaire2 (Reply #12)

Wed Dec 26, 2018, 07:09 AM

18. I have a sense of humor. I just don't find bigotry funny.

If you find bigoted jokes funny, then I suggest you examine your "sense" of humor.

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Response to Fortinbras Armstrong (Reply #11)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 09:52 AM

13. It's hilarious.

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Response to Fortinbras Armstrong (Reply #11)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 10:45 AM

14. That's the spirit!

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Response to Fortinbras Armstrong (Reply #11)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 03:46 PM

15. Infest?

Call out the Vermin Squad! STAT!

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Response to PassingFair (Reply #15)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 06:27 PM

16. Quick, Henry! The Flit!



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Response to Fortinbras Armstrong (Reply #11)

Tue Dec 25, 2018, 07:31 PM

17. What bigotry?

I don't see bigotry. I see someone calling out the hypocrites, just like Jesus did. I think the followers of any religion wouldn't object to.their hypocrisy being exposed.

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