What if the rapture actually happened?!?!

[Soph0571]

[PJMcK]

1. Perfect!

What a wonderful world it would be!

[democratisphere]

2. The extraterrestrials are standing by for rethuglicon abductions.

[Collimator]

3. Very amusing.

Except, of course the hard core believers would tell you that the world will go to shit after the "righteous believers" are taken away. It's important to remember that for some people, the notion that non-believers will suffer either the Tribulations or Hellfire is almost as satisfying as the promise of their supposed reward in Heaven.

In other words, being saved is only half the bargain. Watching the unsaved suffer is the real fun.

[Girard442]

8. Funny, you'd think that getting satisfaction from imagining people in Hell...

...would be proof per se you’re going there too.

[Ferrets are Cool]

11. Hypocrites, one and all.

My opinion.

[Aquaria]

15. They're too stupid to realize that

All they’ll be allowed to do is kiss the ass of their psychopath deities to spend any time watching the cool kids “suffering” in hell.

Heaven is more terrifying than hell, by far. Imagine spending all of your life sucking up to the two most violent and toxic malignant narcissists ever imagined—and having to do it surrounded by all of the people you avoided like the plague here on earth.

Nothing is worse than that. Take it from someone who had two malignant narcissists in her immediate family: You don’t want to be there.

Ever.

[keithbvadu2]

4. Maybe the rapture has already happened; and they are still here with us.

[sanatanadharma]

5. The rapture has happened...

...no one was taken, save the very few unknowns and unnoticed around the world whose clothes now serve as planters.

[iscooterliberally]

21. I'm pretty sure it was only dogs and cats that got in.

The rest of us have to suffer with these idiots.

“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.” - Mark Twain

[CaptYossarian]

6. Then the Dems would be free to do all the things Jesus would have wanted.

And McTurtle couldn't nail their shoes to the floor.

Funny, I'm sure I saw Putin go up too. He's a tiny man, so I can't be sure.

[Aquaria]

17. All of the things?

Including calling immigrants dogs and denying them health care unless they grovel for it, like in Matthew 15?

Or murdering disobedient children, which he supported—also in Matthew 15?

Or all of those nasty Tanakh laws like endorsing slavery, murdering city-dwelling rape victims and forcing the other rape victims to marry their rapists, since he said that all of those laws are applicable until the earth has passed, as per Matthew 5:18?

Or how about that permanent torture he’s obsessed with in multiple parts of the book—by far his favorite topic?

I could go on with listing how that psychopath was anything but good. If anything, that fictional character is the most evil being ever conjured.

But realizing it requires reading the manual without cherry-picking it to death or believing what people with a decided agenda tells people that it says.

[CaptYossarian]

20. That was the culture 2000 years ago. People evolving is more than walking upright.

Sixty years ago, Ralph Kramden threatened to punch his wife so hard, she'd go to the moon. It probably got the biggest laugh on TV each week. Now, if a woman gets threatened like that, it's on Lifetime Movie Network.

Societal evolution.

Also, when I stated that the Dems would be doing what Jesus wanted, that would be my verbal statement to any GOP voters. I'm a smartass they don't know what to do with. Their crap is indefensible and they don't have the wit to keep up with Dems.

[Aquaria]

23. That doesn't change

That it’s what he supported.

So if we can ignore the ugly things he supported because “time,” does that mean we can ignore the few things he said that were good for the same reason?

You can’t have it both ways.

Also: your excuse of time is also the one that racists and sexists use to justify slavery and the long history of sexism against women.

Being of a different time doesn’t make bad behavior or beliefs right, and using time to justify either is contemptible.

[CaptYossarian]

24. You can't change the past.

Am I ashamed of what we did to Native Americans? Yes. And slavery? Of course. And how about Vietnam? Definitely. WMDs that weren't there? What do you think?

Somehow, I am still a proud American--more patriotic than our government officials.

But you can't change the past. And the Bible is probably ALL fiction anyway. A guy swallowed by a whale? C'mon.

[jmowreader]

7. Help me out here...

According to the very un-Biblical Rapture Theology, when this event happens all the “worthy” people are going to be swept into Heaven, and all the terrible, horrible people are going to stay on earth to suffer.

Why is it then, that none of the people who claim they’re going to be swept into Heaven when Jesus returns actually deserve to go there?

[Aquaria]

18. Two questions:

1) Why would you want to go to heaven? It’s worse than hell, by far.

2) Why would you expect a book that promotes hate, slavery, rape, torture and genocide to be anything but horrible people?

That some xians aren’t horrible isn’t thanks to their cult’s indoctrination:

[jmowreader]

22. You've read the description of Hell in Dante's Inferno, correct?

The First Circle, where all the Democrats will go, is a fairly decent place. Circles 2 through 9, where the Republicans are headed, pretty much suck completely.

[Maggiemayhem]

9. 144,000 get to go to Heaven

according to the mythology.

[malthaussen]

10. Then I'd be relieved.

Fewer assholes in the world.

-- Mal

[durablend]

12. Clearly inaccurate

They'd be headed in the *other* direction in the first three frames.

[Aquaria]

19. They're a perfect fit

Given who they worship. Have you read the manual? All of it? They’re horrible beings.

Like attracts like.

[softydog88]

13. Brilliant!

I am sharing this far and wide.

[Celerity]

14. It happened at the beginning of 1981

Jean-Michel Basquiat DJing in Blondie's "Rapture" Video, 1981

https://www.complex.com/style/2013/06/jean-michel-basquiat-hip-hop/jean-michel-basquiat-djing-in-blondies-rapture

[heckles65]

16. Can ya leave me behind...

with 1980's Debbie?