"No" means "No."

[Trillo]

Today, after I left a store and was getting into my truck, I was accosted by an evangelizing Christian who felt it was his aggressive duty to invite me to his church, and...

I politely said "No, I'm not religious." I probably even smiled.

"Take the body of Christ and you get to live forever."

OMG, I've heard this all before. "No. Everybody lives forever! I'm not interested in your religion."

"No. You need to accept Jesus Christ to save your soul."

"Aren't you happy you live in a country that lets you say that? Have you ever read your bible? I have. It is full of lies. That's what I got from it." And I'm happy I live in a country that allows me to say that.

Finally, that shut the guy up. He looked really mad. I was in my truck, finally able to leave, but feeling none too good about having to assert myself as aggressively as I did, to dismiss the dude.

There was no good reason for the conversation to progress past the first point in the conversation when I politely said, "No, I'm not religious." That's it. End of story. Go away! Leave me alone! One "No" should be sufficient. It very frequently is not.

While I was driving home I connected this Christian evangelizing aggressiveness to the same aggressiveness that occurs in some males when a woman declines to have intercourse. Specifically, when she says "No", and instead gets raped. It seems the same thought process involved with the evangelizing Christian I experienced today, this inability to comprehend and accept that when someone tells them "No," it really does mean "No".

[rug]

1. Sorry that happened. I have the same reaction to telemarketers.

[skepticscott]

3. Why are you sorry?

On what basis does an apology for what someone you have no control over did have any meaning? And on what basis is it even necessary?

That's not the kind of apologist you are.

[rug]

4. Because he was pissed off.

It's called empathy.

[longship]

2. A woman legislator said the same thing in MI recently

And she was rewarded by being told, officially to STFU. I am not a woman, but it makes me sick to my stomach what's happening in this country. In my 64 years I don't think I've seen anything like this, at least since Leave It To Beaver or maybe Father Knows Best where women so-called knew their place.

Unfortunately, there are too many who see things like that in spite of how far we've come in the past 60 years.

Damn! We have to fight these bastards!

[abolugi]

5. I have a "No

Soliciting" sign up especially for Mormons. They still come to my door and I ask them if they saw the sign. They always give the same answer.." I'm not selling anything" My answer back is always " Your trying to sell me your bullshit religion and I'm not buying".

But, yet... they always return...

[Speck Tater]

6. He was only trying to help you.

And that's the real problem. In his version of reality he was sincerely trying to help you. That's why I usually reply with "I'm a very devout Buddhist, just like you will be in YOUR next lifetime." That usually leaves them confused enough that I can make my getaway (or close the door if they're standing on my front porch.)

And if that doesn't get rid of them immediately I can always add "Sorry, I was a Christian in a previous life and it just didn't work out the way I thought it would."

[djean111]

7. Yes. In my experiences, people who try and "convert" me

from atheism to whatever they believe in are not trying to harm me, they really are worried about me.
But - no means no, and it is sometimes difficult to have that No accepted.
I have had some success with a simple "No, I had an NDE and saw no evidence of religion in my experience" - especially if I refuse to "discuss" it further. Because "discussion" really means "trying to refute".
It is when religious people try and enforce their own religious rules onto my life through legislation that I get pissed off.

[raccoon]

11. I don't think he was "only trying to help" the OP. He was trying to control her.

trying to tell her she should think and believe exactly the way he does.

He was rude, push, obnoxious, and arrogant.

[cbayer]

8. I would have treated him like I treat any other solicitor outside of a store.

No eye contact, walk on by.

I think when you responded, "No, I'm not religious", you opened yourself up for further conversation. The way to avoid that is just "No".

While I think your analogy has some merit, it's hardly rape. Rape occurs when one person over powers another.

[trotsky]

9. I think it's ridiculous to blame the victim here.

Why is your immediate reaction to criticize what the accosted person did?

[raccoon]

10. Exactly, that's why these idiots are so obnoxious. You've told them to back off

and they keep on harassing you.

[LARED]

12. I was with you until....

you made the connection between rape and evangelism.

If you think the same thought process is occurring in both an aggressive evangelist and a rapist, you really need to rethink the connection.

[humblebum]

13. Your "NO" should have been enough. Once is all it should take.

You have a right to be left alone. If you had expressed an interest in hearing the person out, then you would have invited him to continue. But you did not, and you did what you had to do, regardless whether his message had any bearing on your life or not. His demeanor clearly indicates that he was doing no favors for Christianity but for himself.

[hunter]

14. I tell 'em I went to Mass last Sunday and I don't need to be "Born Again."

Then they know I'm going straight to hell and there's nothing they can do to save me. Might as well be a Satanist, a Jew, a Secular Humanist, or scary Muslim. I'm dead to them.

I am thankful to my mom for my religious upbringing. She fought with Catholic bishops in public venues and she's never been afraid to call a priest a dumbass or a pervert. As a young woman my mom had been thinking about the nunnery but some dumbass pervert priest turned her off. Then she met my dad and decided to have lots of kids instead. This was win/win/win for her. She likes sex and babies and it was good with God too.

Later when my mom was well done with the papists and they were very well done with her, she joined the Jehovah's Witnesses, mostly in support of their pacifism and her own opposition to the war in Viet Nam. So in grade school I stopped saying the pledge of allegiance, further adding to my aura as a social misfit. But after a few years of tolerating her outspokenness, the witnesses expelled my mom because she couldn't stay out of politics. The JW's don't march in the streets or hang out with lesbian feminists. So one day we went to the Kingdom Hall and two large men wouldn't let her in. At the time I was very worried my mom would go ninja on them, but she didn't. Karma came later to these witnesses.

Our family's conflicts with the Mormons run multiple generations deep, first turning sour when my mail-order-bride-triple-great-grandma ran away from her polygamous husband. Since then (and for a few more recent reasons too) the Later Day Saints have actively avoided evangelizing the whole lot of us. I think we're on some DANGER! DANGER! computer database of theirs.

The only church my mom ever lasted in was the Quakers. At meetings they'd listen very politely as she recounted her personal intimate conversations with God and then they'd move on. I liked that church. Christ lives in us all, maybe especially the crazy.

Saying "No" to these evangelizing Christians is not enough. You've got to be secure enough in your own beliefs that it frightens them. They are insecure. That's what drives them out onto the streets. Finding a "lost" soul reassures them.

So don't be a "lost" soul. It doesn't matter what your beliefs are, when you are actively seeking your own truth these evangelizing Christians will back off. You won't even have to say "No!" They will flee, fearing for their own souls when they find you at home in your own.

[cbayer]

15. Great post and wonderful story.

Your mom sounds like just the kind of character I would love to know. Kudos to her.

While I don't share your feelings about frightening off evangelizers, I do agree that they are insecure and the biggest threat to them is your security in your own self and beliefs.

Thanks for sharing this.