I had a conversation with a 20-year-old atheist relative yesterday.

[MineralMan]

She is the daughter of one of my wife's cousins, and we have gotten along pretty well over time. She finally joined Facebook and friended all of her local relatives, including me. I looked at her profile and was surprised to see that she had put "Atheist" down as her religious belief. Surprised, because her family is very involved in the Lutheran Church, and surprised that she took the step of publicly declaring her atheism.

Yesterday evening, a bunch of my wife's cousins and their S.O.s went to a free concert at the MN State Fair to hear a band with another cousin as a member, so I had a chance to have a fairly extensive conversation with this young woman. I mentioned her atheism, and told her that I was also an atheist. "I know," she said. "I looked at your FB profile." She asked when I had become an atheist and I told her it was when I was 20 years old.

Anyhow, I asked her about her transition to atheism, and she gave a familiar explanation, that I think fits a lot of the atheists I know. Basically, as she learned more and more about the world and the diversity of thought it contains, she found that she could no longer believe in the mythology she had learned by immersion throughout her childhood. She gave a very good, complete and thoughtful account of her process, which seemed very familiar, since it was much similar to my own.

It was a nice conversation. I'm sure we'll have more conversations about that and her life as she moves from being a dependent young person to the adult she is becoming. Nice kid. Smart. Very open. I'm looking forward to it.

[DavidDvorkin]

1. That's nice.

[MineralMan]

2. It was.

Most 20 year olds won't engage in much of a conversation with 67 year old relatives-by-marriage. It's nice when one will. I assume you're being serious with your comment.

[Warpy]

3. When I was 20, the old folks were the only ones I felt comfortable

talking to. People my parents' generation were too busy shooting everything down to get me to put my nose to their grindstone and people my own age were lost in movies, dating, and various fashions. Well, until I discovered the drug soaked hippies who were just as literate as I was.

I think that's because the old folks weren't needed for grindstone nosing any more and could indulge in the same sort of speculative thinking a kid with a lot of book learnin' and no life experience did.

[MineralMan]

6. I like that description. I got along well with people my

grandparent's age, too, when I was a young guy. They knew stuff.

[DavidDvorkin]

4. Oh, yes. Quite serious.

I'm sorry if it sounded sarcastic.

I've had the experience of connecting with young relatives online -- people who live far away from me, which has meant that I've seen them very rarely and had no contact with them while they were growing up. It's been very nice to communicate on a serious level with them now.

[MineralMan]

7. It didn't sound sarcastic, actually. I just wasn't sure.

Some people here use sarcasm like a dull razor, so I thought I'd ask. I agree with you. I really like talking to younger people like this young woman. When I met her, she was 11 years old, and she has always taken to me, probably because I've always just talked to her like a real person, rather than a child. I find that works very well in communication with young people. Now, we get to talk about real, adult things. It's a good thing. I only see her maybe 3 times a year, at extended family gatherings, but we always manage to have a nice chat.

[iemitsu]

5. it's wonderful that you had this opportunity to be supportive

of your younger relative as she examines the world and begins to make sense of it.
her seeing your facebook profile might have encouraged her to go public. one never knows?

because i come from what was known as a "mixed marriage' in the 50s (my parents came from different religious traditions) i knew instinctively that a god who would condemn my mother and her people for not sharing specific traditions could not be universal. i was young when this revelation occurred (9 years old) i had not reasoned out clearly what i did believe. i just knew what i didn't believe.
there are few resources or courses of study designed to help those who are freeing themselves from pervasive cultural and traditional ways of understanding the world. in our culture or any other, i suppose.
my studies in ancient and medieval history and mythology helped me to make sense of religion. i strongly encourage your cousin to read about and investigate religion as it will help reveal the truth.

[MineralMan]

8. Thank you for your comments.

We actually talked yesterday a little about the Byzantine Empire and how it related to the Roman Empire. She's taking a history class, and had some questions. Fortunately, it's something that interests me. We also talked a little about Buddhist ideas. As I said, she is a very bright young person, and it's always a pleasure to talk with her. The more you know, the more you learn, it seems. That's always been my guideline as I have read my way through many subject.

[iemitsu]

9. i've read my way through several subjects too.

i highly recommend it to people.
i've also taken many a vacation trip through books too. one can go anywhere and it is cheap.
as a public school teacher it excites me to engage young people with inquisitive minds. most of them fit this category if one takes the time to find out a bit about who he/she is or what he/she is interested in.
both you and your cousin are lucky to find someone who will give another honest attention at a family gathering.