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Thu Oct 4, 2012, 05:28 PM

 

What in the world is going on? Two uncles in one day.

Yesterday morning I found out that my uncle -- my only blood relative in the U.S. besides my brother and daughters, passed away a month ago in NJ.

Not only that, but we found out that his part-time housekeeper has filed a will stating that he left everything to her. However his executor, whom we tracked down by calling nursing homes and hospices, thinks this will is suspicious and has filed a caveat in court to prevent action on it. My brother and I were his beneficiaries in the will the executor has in his possession. My uncle was half-paralyzed with a stroke for the past 3 years, unable to walk and barely able to speak. I can't believe the housekeeper's will is legitimate, since my uncle would have wanted the will to be sent to his friend and executor.

It looks like my brother and I need to find a lawyer, not that we can afford one. If we each got 1/3rd of the value of his house according to the will, my brother, who is HIV-positive, diabetic and living in a slum, might be able to get a decent place to live out the last few years of his life. I could pay off my kids' student loans and put away something for retirement. We have zero savings and I've been out of work for 4 years. But I have a bad feeling that we are screwed.

Then last night, my husband's brother called to say that one of their uncles died yesterday in NJ. We knew he had terminal cancer and was in a hospice but neither of us really knew him. I'd met him twice over 31 years. I'm sad for my father-in-law, who is himself in poor health.

Something else really sad happened yesterday, but it's deeply personal.

I feel totally gutted.

33 replies, 3701 views

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Arrow 33 replies Author Time Post
Reply What in the world is going on? Two uncles in one day. (Original post)
LiberalEsto Oct 2012 OP
Digit Oct 2012 #1
LiberalEsto Oct 2012 #16
NJCher Oct 2012 #2
LiberalEsto Oct 2012 #17
Howler Oct 2012 #3
LiberalEsto Oct 2012 #18
Fire Walk With Me Oct 2012 #4
LiberalEsto Oct 2012 #19
Tumbulu Oct 2012 #5
LiberalEsto Oct 2012 #20
cate94 Oct 2012 #6
LiberalEsto Oct 2012 #21
icymist Oct 2012 #7
LiberalEsto Oct 2012 #22
Tsiyu Oct 2012 #8
LiberalEsto Oct 2012 #23
OneGrassRoot Oct 2012 #9
LiberalEsto Oct 2012 #24
JanMichael Oct 2012 #10
davsand Oct 2012 #11
JanMichael Oct 2012 #12
LiberalEsto Oct 2012 #25
LiberalEsto Oct 2012 #13
SheilaT Oct 2012 #29
Mnemosyne Oct 2012 #14
LiberalEsto Oct 2012 #26
Mnemosyne Oct 2012 #28
magical thyme Oct 2012 #15
LiberalEsto Oct 2012 #27
SheilaT Oct 2012 #30
JanMichael Oct 2012 #31
glinda Oct 2012 #32
Manifestor_of_Light Oct 2012 #33

Response to LiberalEsto (Original post)

Thu Oct 4, 2012, 07:02 PM

1. I wish I could be of some help

Reading your post I felt like I was kicked in the stomach. I don't usually get such strong reactions so you must be going through hell.

Your brother's situation is sad and horrible and you and your family have my deepest sympathy.
Being out of work for so long is tough, really tough. I do hope that you will find employment for yourself at a good rate of pay at a position you enjoy.

It does sound like fraud is involved somehow with the will and authorities have ways to determine the truth. Hopefully it will be something easy to prove like
a forged signature.

I know you have been kicked in the teeth but keep the faith.

I will be sending you white light and energy to surmount the rough times you find yourself in.


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Response to Digit (Reply #1)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 04:45 PM

16. Thank you so much!

 

Having learned more, I am not sure that there is any solid basis to challenge the will. The executor is sending my brother copies of all the wills.

Nonetheless, I really wish my uncle hadn't held out this hope to my brother, only to not act on it. He is so upset.

I'm more upset about the never-ending stream of problems that fall into my life, and wondering if I'll ever have a good day again. Being unemployed for 4 years takes a toll.

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Response to LiberalEsto (Original post)

Thu Oct 4, 2012, 07:35 PM

2. sometimes life just really throws you for a loop

I am sorry, liberalesto. You're a long-time poster here and I had no idea you were living with such adversity.


Cher

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Response to NJCher (Reply #2)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 04:50 PM

17. Thank you, NJCher.

 

My brother is the one with the adversity, although I worry about him a lot. I wish my uncle had at least left his car to my brother.

I'm fortunate to have a husband who has a job (although looking for a new one because his company lost its contract with the federal govt.) Unfortunately I have neither a job nor freelance work, and neither of our adult daughters is working. They live with us. I hope and pray something is done to turn this economy around, and soon! So many people are seriously hurting for lack of work.

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Response to LiberalEsto (Original post)

Thu Oct 4, 2012, 08:08 PM

3. LiberalEsto

I'm so so sorry You are going through such hell. I'm sending to you Woman and your family .
too.

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Response to Howler (Reply #3)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 04:50 PM

18. Hugs to you too, Howler!

 



Thank you!

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Response to LiberalEsto (Original post)

Thu Oct 4, 2012, 08:25 PM

4. Praying...

 

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Response to Fire Walk With Me (Reply #4)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 04:53 PM

19. Thank you, Fire Walk

 

I'm praying that our economy turns around, that people can find decent jobs, and that the wealthy are prevented from looting companies and avoiding paying their fair share of taxes.

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Response to LiberalEsto (Original post)

Thu Oct 4, 2012, 09:06 PM

5. I am so sorry

And will add you into my morning visualizations and prayers.

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Response to Tumbulu (Reply #5)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 04:57 PM

20. Thanks. That would be wonderful!

 

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Response to LiberalEsto (Original post)

Thu Oct 4, 2012, 09:30 PM

6. I am so sorry!

Light to you and yours.

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Response to cate94 (Reply #6)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 04:57 PM

21. Thank you, cate94!

 

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Response to LiberalEsto (Original post)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 12:30 AM

7. Wow! I am so sorry...

I'll keep you in my prayers.

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Response to icymist (Reply #7)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 04:58 PM

22. Thank you, icymist!

 

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Response to LiberalEsto (Original post)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 01:49 AM

8. ...




((((((((((((LiberalEsto))))))))))))







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Response to Tsiyu (Reply #8)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 04:59 PM

23. Thanks, Tsiyu!

 

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Response to LiberalEsto (Original post)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 07:34 AM

9. I, too, am so sorry....

I hope that, somehow, today is a wee bit brighter and you don't feel so beaten up. I don't know what's going on either but there's a lot of souls feeling beaten up and beaten down.



{{{{{{{{{{LiberalEsto}}}}}}}}}}}

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Response to OneGrassRoot (Reply #9)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 05:00 PM

24. You're right, OneGrassRoot

 

Things just seem "off" in the world, but let's hope things start to change for the better.

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Response to LiberalEsto (Original post)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 08:04 AM

10. Call your state board

and ask for a rec. for a lawyer...stay in contact with the executor. More than likely you will easily find a lawyer to give you a free consultation. There is also a good chance that you can find one that will ask for a very low retainer fee to examine the documents-- and will agree to be paid in full after the estate is settled.

Just off the top of my head, I would think there's a possibility that the housekeeper wrote a will and had him sign it-- but, I doubt she went far enough to make it legally valid. There is also a very good possibility that the...I can't remember what you call it? Hologram? or something like that-- will was signed when he was under the influence of pain meds, and frankly that dog don't hunt.

It's hard to not feel "screwed" and just say "well damn...this didn't work out...." especially when you are already tired, and broke.

I am NOT a lawyer; but I have used one to deal with a financial situation before, and once you just TALK to one...just get a sense that someone is going to be on your side, you will feel better immediately.

Do not give up on this; think of what your uncle would have really wanted if he had been healthy. Go with that. Take a big assed vitamin pill, call the executor, your brother, AND get a consultation.

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Response to JanMichael (Reply #10)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 09:10 AM

11. I agree completely with everything JanMichael said, but I wanted to add something, too.

I'm so very sorry that you are dealing with so much right now. Please know that you are not alone, and please know that it gets better. Sometimes it is tough to remember that if you've been feeling bad for too long. My deepest sympathies to you and your family on your losses.








Laura

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Response to davsand (Reply #11)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 11:24 AM

12. and we agree with this too!

Thanks!

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Response to davsand (Reply #11)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 05:02 PM

25. Thank you, davsand.

 

It's people like you and the other members of ASAH that make DU so great.

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Response to JanMichael (Reply #10)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 12:42 PM

13. Thank you for this great advice!

 

I will definitely ask any attorney we contact to do so.

blessings to you,
LE


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Response to JanMichael (Reply #10)

Sat Oct 6, 2012, 02:44 AM

29. Holographic was the word you were looking for.

 

I think it means something along the lines of "written by hand".

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Response to LiberalEsto (Original post)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 01:46 PM

14. ...

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Response to Mnemosyne (Reply #14)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 05:03 PM

26. Thank you, Mnemosyne

 

Your support, and that of the others in ASAH, is deeply appreciated.

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Response to LiberalEsto (Reply #26)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 11:41 PM

28. Sometimes we just get hammered, don't we? My heart goes out to you all

for all your losses.

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Response to LiberalEsto (Original post)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 02:51 PM

15. ....

 

nothing to add to what's already been written.

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Response to magical thyme (Reply #15)

Fri Oct 5, 2012, 05:04 PM

27. Thank you, magical thyme!

 

Thanks for being here for me.

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Response to LiberalEsto (Original post)

Sat Oct 6, 2012, 02:48 AM

30. Look carefully at what JanMichael said.

 

I have been a paralegal, although I only once dealt with a will, and it was something contested as you are talking about.

Do call several attorneys. It may be, as JanMichael said, one will be happy to look at the documents for a relatively low fee. It may also be that if you need to contest it, you'll need to retain one on a contingency basis, meaning the attorney will keep a precentage of the final payout.

Do not let the housekeeper get away with this.

She probably deserves some kind of reasonable reward for her services, but not the entire estate.

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Response to SheilaT (Reply #30)

Sat Oct 6, 2012, 08:46 AM

31. Thank you for this! I was hoping someone with professional experience

would help with the wording, and practical advice! Lawyers get such bad raps...when we needed one, we found not one but two great ones that were not only pleasant to work with, ethical and awesome, but also totally affordable.

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Response to LiberalEsto (Original post)

Sat Oct 6, 2012, 02:33 PM

32. Big hug to you LiberalEsto.

Am sorry life is feeling almost out of control right now. Been going through very similar things. I so totally get it.

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Response to LiberalEsto (Original post)

Wed Oct 10, 2012, 02:00 AM

33. I had 2 uncles pass in one day.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Back in December of 2000, my dad's younger brother passed. He was 85. Dad had passed in July of 2000 and was about a month shy of 89.

The other uncle was a great-uncle on mom's side. Husband of one of mom's first cousins on her dad's side. I think he was 96 or so.

Your executor is right to file a will contest. Sounds like that uncle was not in his right mind and had what is known in legalese as "Lack of testamentary capacity".

Yes, I am a lawyer, but I do not practice.

Good luck!

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