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Sat Jul 18, 2015, 08:31 PM

A couple of Geminis........

have sailed into and out of my life recently.

I was attempting to be friends with them. I had met both of them some years ago. I thought they were friends. In actuality, they were trying to undermine my marital relationship and replace my spouse and exploit my resources. One of them was male and the other one was female.

Both had terrible tempers. The male would scream at me in his presence. He kept speculating about what would happen if my spouse died. He told me he loved me many times, but sure didn't act like he did. Basically so he could take over my life some day. The crap with him trying to control my life came to a head in the last week of April.

The female was screaming at my husband, and then accusing him of provoking her and being abusive to her and to me. The female was absolutely enraged when my friend told her that my husband was a very nice person, and that a lot of other people thought he was nice too. The female was staying at my house. I told her that nobody that called my husband an "evil motherfucker" is allowed to live with me. No way. I told her to move on down the road a couple of days ago.

I think both of them are serious narcissists.

Maybe they should get together and try to pick each other's pockets.

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Arrow 6 replies Author Time Post
Reply A couple of Geminis........ (Original post)
Manifestor_of_Light Jul 2015 OP
Delphinus Jul 2015 #1
Manifestor_of_Light Jul 2015 #2
NuttyFluffers Aug 2015 #3
Manifestor_of_Light Aug 2015 #4
NuttyFluffers Aug 2015 #5
Manifestor_of_Light Aug 2015 #6

Response to Manifestor_of_Light (Original post)

Tue Jul 21, 2015, 01:20 PM

1. Wow.

So sorry to hear this - you did the right thing, though, by asking her to leave.

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Response to Delphinus (Reply #1)

Tue Jul 21, 2015, 01:37 PM

2. I am too nice to some people.

Now she's telling me my husband is abusive on FB and text message. She is the one who is abusive. If he spoke to her AT ALL she would scream at him that he was an "evil motherfucker". My friends all say he's the nicest man they've ever met.

She's trying to displace him. Just like the male before that that I was helping with some work was telling me that I should get life insurance on him because he might die. And then he could come in and replace husbo. The cheap conniving bastard didn't pay me for my work either. Manipulators, abusers....boy do I get them.

Guess I look like an easy target.

My parents exploited me and never told me to stand up for myself --they were busy using me. So I am still a doormat sometimes. I don't want to make people mad. This is my downfall.

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Response to Manifestor_of_Light (Original post)

Tue Aug 18, 2015, 06:56 AM

3. a hug from a nicer gemini is in order.

narcissistic shits come in all colors. and no, our Pollox natures do not excuse their behavior at all. good thing you recognize the signs that you "give off a victim scent." saves you from many wasted years. how to "deodorize" yourself, that I don't know yet.

sounds like you need to fine tune your "no!" voice to nip these parasites before they latch on too deep.

thankfully it kicked in with boundaries. remember, boundaries are also about preserving feelings, such as keeping healthy ones away from depraved ones. good thing your "what you suggest is sick, taking an insurance policy on my husband 'just in case'," and "no calling my husband an 'evil motherfucker'" boundary served you well here.

might i suggest treating yourself and your husband to a night out on the town amid friendly strangers? less obligation from the distance, keep it cordial yet mostly anonymous. gets some refreshing new energy in your lives.

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Response to Manifestor_of_Light (Original post)

Tue Aug 18, 2015, 05:50 PM

4. Thank you for the hug, nice Gemini!

I didn't think their narcissism had anything to do with their sun sign, but it was one thing they had in common.

I met the woman on the internet in a Bartcop chat room, if you know who Bartcop is. He sent a lot of people to DU. I had gone to visit her in a big city over ten years ago, and had a good time. She was a lot more subtle about buttering me up than the man was. She would never say anything bad about about me, just yell at my husband for no reason. The man would actually yell at me and criticize me. She said she liked men but I think that is not really true.

I had met the man in court in Houston when I was working as a court reporter and he was practicing law. We went out some when I was separated from the previous husband, and came to see me when I was quite ill in the hospital from putting up with a nagging abusive spouse. Late 1980s. He was a nice guy then. Now he is just a grumpy old cheap conniving bastard. He wanted a free legal assistant (I have a law degree too) but didn't treat me right. I'm sure he thought he was gonna step in after my husband had that heart attack or whatever.

We are retired. We live out in the country in a little town and they are in Houston, as far as I know, so I don't think they will bother us. I "ghosted" the man--that's what they call cutting someone off cold turkey--not replying to their texts or phone calls.

We don't have any nice restaurants around here. Because we are Democrats and non-religious, we don't have any friends. We have to make friends on Facebook through a closed group of secular humanists. I have to drive 75 to 110 miles just to go to get-togethers, but it's worth it in East Texas. There is no Democratic county organization around here because the Democrats have basically given up and none of the white people are Democrats. Everybody hates Obama that is white. I have to drive 20 miles just to go to Wallyworld and get groceries.

I thought I could have friends in life other than my husband, and these two proved that there are predators out there who have other ideas. I will have to make friends through this facebook group, because I go nuts if I don't have intelligent life to talk to about the things that matter to me. Everybody here in the country is extremely Christian and Republican, and they are all alike, so I don't even try to make friends in my little town. We put up a fence with an electric gate to keep the con artists and meth heads out. I can't hire anyone to pull my weeds. Nobody wants to work, even after they give you a sob story about how poor they are, on welfare or whatever, but they always want an advance for beer or cigarettes.

Maybe you are wondering why we live in the middle of nowhere? Because I inherited the family manse from my mother, and her mother had always lived in little towns. It's a cool old house on two acres, but I can't get my friends from Houston and Dallas to come see me on weekends. They're busy working or taking care of the elderly parents or the kids or both.

Hugs back atcha!

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Response to Manifestor_of_Light (Reply #4)

Fri Aug 21, 2015, 01:51 PM

5. oh my goodness, i've been through that way, it is isolated.

how about planning your next visit to Houston or San Antonio. treat yourself to a museum and foodie excursion, and then some Trader Joe snacks for the way home?

have you ever looked into indigenous seed bank of your area? i hear that encouraging the local flora tends to foster more visits from the local fauna. you should plant local wildflowers and weeds so as to attract butterflies and moths and birds. i find talking to butterflies is wonderful good fun; they are great listeners, and i like to think of that one of them may be that taoist philosopher, who i presume would qualify for intelligent life in your neighborhood.

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Response to NuttyFluffers (Reply #5)

Tue Aug 25, 2015, 08:11 PM

6. We have lots of lantana.

And butterflies. I'm over an hour's drive from Lufkin, Nac, Tyler and Longview. The closest civilization for shopping is The Woodlands Mall North of Houston on I-45 which is 100 miles away.

I've driven by the Trader Joe's on Voss across from where the Whole Foods moved to (the old Randall's on Voss) but I haven't been in Trader Joe's. All I know about Trader Joe's is watching Homer Simpson in Swapper Jack's.

My eye doctor is on Voss in the strip center attached to the Kroger and my dentist is on Bering Drive. I don't trust the professionals up here because I don't think they are competent. This goes all the way down to air conditioning people and plumbers.

Food and a museum sounds good. Going to see Joe Jackson in October at Cullen Auditorium.

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