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Tue Dec 13, 2011, 06:23 PM

Holidays, and resulting stress

There's a lot going on right now for everyone, and that includes the holidays.

Do you look forward to family visits, gifts, parties, etcetera, or are you avoiding or dreading most of it?

We continue to deal with a family situation. As a result, I'd prefer to spend the holidays with just my husband. He doesn't see things the same way.

How are things going for you?

-MV

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Arrow 14 replies Author Time Post
Reply Holidays, and resulting stress (Original post)
Missy Vixen Dec 2011 OP
MorningGlow Dec 2011 #1
Habibi Dec 2011 #2
elleng Dec 2011 #3
Lucinda Dec 2011 #4
GliderGuider Dec 2011 #5
Missy Vixen Dec 2011 #6
GliderGuider Dec 2011 #8
Ricochet21 Dec 2011 #11
Ricochet21 Dec 2011 #12
LiberalEsto Dec 2011 #7
Avalux Dec 2011 #9
Ricochet21 Dec 2011 #10
Dulcinea Dec 2011 #13
kimmerspixelated Dec 2011 #14

Response to Missy Vixen (Original post)

Tue Dec 13, 2011, 07:30 PM

1. Hi, MV

I actually look forward to family get togethers, because I spend most of my time in isolation (SAHM, plus Mr. MG is totally anti-social). But I admit it is stressful--I always feel like I'm never going to get everything done in time. And all I'm doing is buying gifts and decorating. Parties are a foreign concept to me, although I wish that weren't the case.

I'm sorry you're going through a tough family situation. Sending light for smooth sailing through the holiday season.

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Response to Missy Vixen (Original post)

Tue Dec 13, 2011, 09:40 PM

2. Missy Vixen, my husband and I feel very fortunate in that

we have broken off with some very poisonous family members this past year, and that means we get to spend the holidays however we wish. Up until this year, for both of us, the holidays had been filled with angst. We are a little verklempt about it all, but still happy to be able to do whatever. I hope you and your husband are able to at least find an evening or two during this period to spend time together, just the two of you, and enjoy the season.

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Response to Missy Vixen (Original post)

Wed Dec 14, 2011, 12:38 AM

3. Missy, a 'family situation' has kept us largely apart, geographically/physically, since '06,

so no big deals to dread, fortunately. Last year I insituted 'day after Thanksgiving dinner' at my apartment, for 2 daughters and their guys, and we all enjoyed it. My next 'Big Deal' is Chanukah gifts for 2 daughters, which I'm wrapping and mailing now.

Its a struggle to get the 3 of us (plus guys) together, logistically, so I have little of the normal stress of which you speak. Did cry watching The Polar Express, with daughter on the phone! Hope to be able to connect w them w/in next month, but no big deals, I expect.

Hope you work yours out.

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Response to Missy Vixen (Original post)

Wed Dec 14, 2011, 03:34 AM

4. Thanksgiving was quiet, and Christmas will be the two of us and a neighbor. I like to spend

the end of New Years Eve alone, and it usually works out that way.
I like to take the time to gather my thoughts and bring in the New Year quietly.

I expect to see family on New Years Day and am looking forward to it. So I don't have much in the way of holiday stress. Yet.

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Response to Missy Vixen (Original post)

Wed Dec 14, 2011, 10:08 AM

5. Sometimes the universe gives you exactly, precisely what you ask for...

 

Last edited Wed Dec 14, 2011, 03:26 PM - Edit history (1)

Kath and I really wanted to spend Xmas alone together, not travelling for days to sleep on impossible beds, even though we love our families to distraction. Plus I really needed a longer break from work. So the universe smashed my right elbow and said, "OK, there you go - enjoy!"

Believe it or not, I'm grateful. Or is that just the pain meds???

Seriously, this is the best accident of my life. I get to spend more than a month 24/7 with my beloved, learning about surrender and getting back in touch with my long-neglected body. What a paradoxically fabulous Xmas present. Thank you, Goddess.

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Response to GliderGuider (Reply #5)

Mon Dec 19, 2011, 08:45 PM

6. You are an optimist!

GliderGuider, I'm just amazed at your post, especially after I read one of Fire Walk With Me's posts on another thread. He said that those who reach out in love and embrace joy and optimism will thrive in the new year.

You are THRIVING now. I am in awe. You found something good in a bad (and probably painful!) injury.

I learn so much from all of you, every day. I hope you are feeling much better, and the rest and time with your loved one continues to be a gift.


-MV

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Response to Missy Vixen (Reply #6)

Mon Dec 19, 2011, 10:38 PM

8. So far in life I've been able to find something good in:

 

Last edited Mon Dec 19, 2011, 11:10 PM - Edit history (1)

- A bankruptcy
- Three divorces (and the reasons for them)
- A triple fracture of my left ankle
- The destruction of my right elbow
- Being laid off during the tech wreck
- Losing all my high-tech stock money in the aforementioned divorces
- The death of my sister to cancer at 36
- A four-year Dark Night of the Soul during which I prayed alternately for my own death and the extinction of all humanity.

Now, if I've been able to find reasons for gratitude in those, imagine how I feel about all the amazing good stuff that has happened along the way - culminating in the reunion with my twin flame after we lost each other for 30 years in this incarnation.

The point is, we have all been given an unimaginably huge gift. We have been given a lifetime of experiences, along with the opportunity to think deeply and draw whatever lessons we choose from them. That is truly a gift worthy of being bestowed by or upon a god.



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Response to GliderGuider (Reply #8)

Tue Dec 20, 2011, 07:23 PM

11. Wonderfully said

Merry Christmas GG

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Response to GliderGuider (Reply #5)

Tue Dec 20, 2011, 07:25 PM

12. I'd like to look at your chart one day

if that's ok with you, in which case you can pm me.

Happy Holidays!

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Response to Missy Vixen (Original post)

Mon Dec 19, 2011, 10:01 PM

7. Dreading

 

The mood swings and tempers of my daughters have wrecked many a holiday.

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Response to Missy Vixen (Original post)

Tue Dec 20, 2011, 03:08 PM

9. I am travelling across the country on Thursday.

The prep and travel part have me stressed; I hate to fly but will do my best to stay grounded (figuratively!). Once I get to my parents's house, I'll be fine and am actually looking forward to time with the family, warts and all. I have a 90 year old grandmother and a 93 year old uncle; want to spend quality time with each one and listen to their stories; at that age they have so much wisdom. And my nephews; can't wait to play with them. Sure my mom will be driving me nuts after a couple of days but now that I'm older, I am able to tolerate her type A-ness because I realize she won't always be around to bug me!

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Response to Missy Vixen (Original post)

Tue Dec 20, 2011, 07:22 PM

10. A long time ago

I decided that Christmas was nuts. I decided to slow way down, enjoy the food, make 1/2 or 1/3 the parties.

EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO COME TO THEIR HOUSE.

I gave that up. I figured tis the season to be jolly! How can I be jolly running around like a chicken.
Go slow, enjoy it. Is there anything else underlying your discomfort?

I wish you both a pleasant time!
Think of it!

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Response to Missy Vixen (Original post)

Wed Dec 21, 2011, 08:48 AM

13. Can't wait for Xmas to be over.

I just finished a very demanding semester, & instead of much-needed down time, I get to shop, bake, worry about dinner, & endure an ear-beating from a relative who called me up to scream at me because I returned the stuff she sent the kids because it arrived damaged. So now they won't think of her when they open a box of worthless plastic from China.

Also, I need to see a gyn...cycle is a mess....not sure if it's stress or perimenopause, but my mood is REALLY foul.

I wish I could spend Xmas Day locked in my room with a good book. But I'm looking forward to New Year's Eve, when we'll host a potluck with friends. That's my idea of holiday enjoyment.

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Response to Missy Vixen (Original post)

Wed Dec 21, 2011, 07:40 PM

14. Oh, there were years that it was craziness.

We used to have a party where all the guests were from out of town, so we had to make it comfortable for several days, and I almost always had to do everything(the cooking) myself.
Thanksgiving used to be our anniversary, so it was tough this year, with our in-house separation. We are going to have a good xmas, and then I look forward to reflection time on New Years with a lot of planning! The lights are glowing and the candlelight is soft, with lovely surprises for my daughter! A lot to be thankful for.

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