So a Franciscan, a Dominican, and a Jesuit are celebrating Mass together . . .

[Brigid]

And the lights go out in the church. The Franciscan praises the chance to live more simply. The Dominican gives a learned homily on how God brings light to the world. The Jesuit goes to the basement to fix the fuses.

I got this out of a lively book about Jesuit spirituality called "The Jesuit Guide to Almost Everything" by James Martin, S.J. It's a great read so far.

[mykpart]

1. A group of priests were sitting around in heaven talking

when one priest said, "Of course, everyone knows that the Cistercians are to holiest priests on earth." "Oh, no, Father," said a second priest. "That distinction belongs to the Dominicans!" "I beg to differ," said a third priest. "The Franciscans are far and away the holiest priests." There was soon a loud argument going on, and St. Peter came over to break it up. "I will take up this question with Our Lord," he said, "and He will post the answer on the bulletin board in the morning."

Next morning all the priests huddled around the bulletin board to read the memo from Jesus. It said:

"There is no single order of priests that is holier or better than any other. All are equal in My eyes." (Signed) Jesus Christ, S.J.

[Brigid]

2. Hee hee.

[47of74]

7. In eastern Iowa the notice is signed either

....God, O.S.B. or Jesus Christ, O.S.B.

[IrishAyes]

10. ROFL !!!!

[georges641]

3. so a dyslexic friar walks into a bra...

[Fortinbras Armstrong]

4. Support DAM -- Mothers Against Dyslexia

[CBHagman]

5. If you love Father James Martin, you'll love this article.

I heard about the following in a homily by a priest from another order (Oblates of St. Francis de Sales, in case anyone's keeping track!).

[url]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rev-james-martin-sj/12-really-stupid-things-to-never-do-again_b_1174709.html[/url]

[Brigid]

6. Great article!

[UrbScotty]

8. A Dominican, a Franciscan, and a Jesuit are transported to the time of Jesus's birth.

The Dominican marvels at this manifestation of God's glory.

The Franciscan is awed by the simplicity and humility of the Child in the manger.

The Jesuit goes up to Mary and Joseph and asks, "Have you given any thought to His education?"

[IrishAyes]

11. I can't wait to spread all these great jokes around. Thanks.

[IrishAyes]

9. Yes it is!

Those are 3 of my favorite orders, including the Claretians. My absolute favorite is whichever one I happen to be thinking about at the time.

The previous circuit priest at our tiny local mission is diocesan but as a new arrival in town I didn't know that when I made a terrible blunder by commending something he said as sounding very Jesuit indeed. Turns out he hates the Jesuits because they kicked him out for rampant alcoholism. Now he hates me too. I don't question his late sobriety, but he still acts like a dry drunk if he doesn't like somebody, up to and including open public ridicule of their personal clothing style, no matter how modest in the well-covered sense.

The old bat generally known as the Head Hen of that congregation hates me worse than poison too, partly because of who I am and where I'm from, but I suspect also because her attachment to him (and her own status) is pathologically jealous. She also hates me because when someone hurls such venom at me, I generally publicize it because squawking at the top of my lungs has always been a primary method of self protection. Passivity is far over-rated in my book.

In RedNeckLand especially, you'll always hear people pressuring women to tolerate in meek silence whatever their 'betters' do to them, but I must've been absent when they passed out that talent in which I'm totally lacking. I kick back hard enough to leave bruises, and damn but my aim is great. I'm enough of an empath to instinctively see a person's achilles heel. Being a short little old lady, even when I was young, and always desirous of being left in peace, that's often what I go for if pushed into a corner.

[UrbScotty]

12. Don't mind me, just kicking this thread 20 months later

A man walked up to a Franciscan and Jesuit and asked, "How many novenas must you say to get a Mercedes Benz?"

The Franciscan asked, "What's a Mercedes Benz?"

The Jesuit asked, "What's a novena?"

[mmonk]

13. Priceless. Mind if I share the joke on Facebook?

[Brigid]

14. But of course.

Jokes are made for sharing.