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LOL Lib

(1,462 posts)
Thu Apr 6, 2017, 12:05 PM Apr 2017

Can I rant about my beloved Christian Grandma for commiseration here?

Preface: I just want to get this off my chest. It is driving me nuts! If this is in anyway offensive please tell me and I will delete.

I grew up in a very religious southern family. I like to think of all my elders as wise, surprisingly liberal people that made me into the independent young woman I am today. So it is mind numbing when my grandma throws me a curve ball that I just can't wrap my head around.

Here's what happened last night. I was on the way home from work at 9:30pm. Phone rings and my frantic uncle (grandma lives with him and my aunt) begins to tell me that my gm has aspirated a huge magnesium tablet. Of course I'm shocked and told him to hang up and call 911. He tells me that she doesn't want med help because she can't afford another bill, blah, blah, plus she says it happened before and the ER did nothing but CT scan, observe her for a few hours, and send her home. Long story short...I googled, called poison control, called local ER, and called friend who is med student for advice. I argued for at least a half hour for her to go to ER. She had been violently coughing for 3 hours and could not get pull up...pain under right breast, but said it was getting better. Despite all my calling and info gathering she refused to go. The advice I passed to her was that any number of things COULD happen...nothing, the tablet would eventually dissolve, she might cough it up in a day or a month, it could dissolve and cause mild to severe irritation, it could cause pneumonia, or it could cause a life threatening emergency or death. She is in her 70's but relatively fit. The whole thing just seemed like playing Russian roulette to me. To be honest it made me incredibly angry.

Sorry trying to get to the point here. At one point I told my uncle to just call 911 and asked why he hadn't done that as opposed to calling me? He responded that gm wanted to let me know to pray about it.

I wanted to bang my head into the steering wheel. I understand and completely respect her faith. She is a brilliant woman who has much to give to her family. Her presence is still very valuable to me and her other grandchildren as well, not to mention her kids! This was not a pity trip by her and the bill was not the real issue. I don't think this was a death wish either. She is just incredibly stubborn, strong, and certain that God/Jesus's will shall be done.

The part that is so incredibly stupid, selfish, and unimaginable to me is that she would just roll the dice so to speak. Why not just go get checked out???? Yes gods will shall be done but ffs maybe he wants you to go get checked!!! Clearly I'm still upset about this, despite the fact that she seems ok and is resting at home as I type. That doesn't mean that all is well. There can still be complications in the coming days that could have been minimized! Does anyone out there understand what I'm experiencing? She is a sane and intelligent woman. How can faith make you do something so careless with your health?

Thanks for letting me rant. Sorry so long, I usually pride myself on being succinct and brief.

TL;DR I totally get it...if you stuck through the whole rant, I offer my sincere gratitude.

7 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Can I rant about my beloved Christian Grandma for commiseration here? (Original Post) LOL Lib Apr 2017 OP
Maybe she couldn't afford the cost of the treatment that Medicare doesn't cover. kimbutgar Apr 2017 #1
That was her excuse, but I told her not to worry. I would pay the bill myself! LOL Lib Apr 2017 #3
Scripture malpractice wryter2000 Apr 2017 #2
I will try. I'm going by there after work today. LOL Lib Apr 2017 #4
Can you enlist her pastor's help? wryter2000 Apr 2017 #5
Hmm. Worth a shot. I will give the church a call. LOL Lib Apr 2017 #6
FWIW LOL Lib Apr 2017 #7

LOL Lib

(1,462 posts)
3. That was her excuse, but I told her not to worry. I would pay the bill myself!
Thu Apr 6, 2017, 12:19 PM
Apr 2017

Just go get checked! She has always been very frugal. She has savings, I think it might have been that she doesn't think the cost of the visit is worth what they charge. She was convinced that they would do nothing more than observe her. I kinda understand, but it just doesn't sit right. Thanks for reading.

wryter2000

(46,016 posts)
2. Scripture malpractice
Thu Apr 6, 2017, 12:15 PM
Apr 2017

Tell her the story about the guy stranded on top of his house in a flood. A neighbor came by in a boat to rescue him, but he said, "God will save me." Then police came by in a helicopter to save him, but he said, "God will save me."

The man died and ended up at the pearly gates and complained to St. Peter that God hadn't saved him from the flood. St. Peter said, "Didn't you see the boat or the helicopter?"

Or you could try "God helps those who help themselves." That's not in scripture, and it's bad theology, but it could work.

LOL Lib

(1,462 posts)
6. Hmm. Worth a shot. I will give the church a call.
Thu Apr 6, 2017, 12:32 PM
Apr 2017

I would be happy if she would just go to primary care doc today and let him listen to her lungs. He can do chest X-ray in office and this will not cost as much as an ER visit! Going to make a few calls. Thanks!!!

LOL Lib

(1,462 posts)
7. FWIW
Thu Apr 6, 2017, 05:09 PM
Apr 2017

Just got off the phone...she coughed up the partially disolved tablet about an hour ago. She has agreed to see her PCP tomorrow to let him evaluate her (begrudgingly). I feel much better knowing the pill is out of there.

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