LMAO! My 8 year old granddaughter told me today she's starting her own religion

[OriginalGeek]

Last edited Sun Jan 15, 2012, 03:16 AM - Edit history (1)

Unfortunately, it's the Church of Tebow.


It came up because she and her sister came home grumpy from their mother's house (It was her weekend - my son has full custody but she gets them every other weekend and some holidays) . Apparently their mother has gotten some religion and she wants them to start attending church with her on her weekends.

The 8 year old was mad about it because she hates her mom's church - "They splash water at me!" (I think it's a Catholic church).

"I just wanna be my own church! The Church of Tebow! We don't go to church! We just watch Tebow games!"

and then she got mad at me because I told her Tebow was gonna get his ass kicked tonight. (Turns out I was right - but I didn't have the heart to call her and gloat... lol)

I have loved football since I was about the same age as her when my dad took me to a Dallas Cowboys game. I've been waiting ever since I became an adult for offspring that loved football as much as me. My wife and daughter and sons all actively ignore football.

So I was ECSTATIC the other day when my son said that she has taken a liking to football.

And then fuck. It's goddamn Tebow.

I think her mother is a Gator fan which is why she likes Tebow and UF. I shoulda got there sooner. I'm a Dallas Cowboys and Florida State fan.


She didn't even know I joined a Post-season fantasy playoff challenge league a couple weeks ago. I named my team Atebow because I don't believe in Tebow.

She's only 8 though. I have time to indoctrinate her into the Holy Dallas Cowboy Congregation. I see her a lot more than her mother does.

[Angry Dragon]

1. It is not fair to your granddaughter

that you would have her trade tebow for the cowboys
with the cowboys it is the whole organization of a godless religion
instead of just one player

[OriginalGeek]

3. Well gosh

If I can't unfairly indoctrinate my own grandchildren why did I even have any?


And anything is better than Tebow! lol

[Warpy]

2. When I was 8 or so

a friend and I were playing near my parents. She wanted to play "church" for some horrible reason or other, so I played the priest, got up in front of an open book and began "gimme gimme gimme moneymoneymoneymoney bulding fund gimme gimme gimme" and more in that vein. My dad was scandalized.

My mother cracked up and said I had their number, all right.

Two years later I was outta there.

[LeftishBrit]

4. When I was about 11...

my friend decided to start her own religion. She named it after herself; so if we give her the pseudonym 'Karen', the religion would have been the 'Karenian' religion. I was her prophet, and we both went round the house chanting 'Long live the Karenian religion!' We were both second-generation atheists and both ethnically Jewish - the latter might be relevant to the fact that as far as I remember, most of the rules involved prohibitions against particular foods:mostly anything that 'Karen' didn't like! 'Thou shalt not eat tomatoes, chicory or asparagus.' I was not yet the fan of tomatoes and asparagus that I later became, but I insisted on including liver among the taboos, as that was what *I* hated.

The religion lasted only a couple of weeks, and I hasten to add that neither 'Karen' nor I ever became cult leaders, promoters or followers!

[PassingFair]

5. But, I've seen your "saint"....

[Curmudgeoness]

6. My siblings toyed with the idea of starting a religion.

And sadly, we were all grown up at the time, so it wasn't as cute as an 8-year old. My brother was a strange person, and he would have been a great cult leader. We were going to name it "The Church of the Round", so the devil couldn't corner you.

I can't say we didn't have a few laughs working out details to our pretend church.

As you can deduce, none of us are religious types.

[awoke_in_2003]

7. "We just watch Tebow games"...

What is this? The Spanish Inquisition?

[awoke_in_2003]

8. "Holy Dallas Cowboy Congregation"...

I only saw this on the second read through- how could you do such a thing to a child?

[onager]

9. When she gets older...

Make sure she sees "Wise Blood." (After reading the novel!)

I'm gonna start me a new church. Where the blind don't see, the crippled don't walk, and what's dead STAYS that way!

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