My Home town, Joplin Mo was hit by a EF-5+ Tornado and I watched.
There was nothing I could do but hide. Dave had to grab me and get me to shelter. I was a deer in the headlights. As of May 22, 2011 I am Homeless. I am nown Springfield Mo,homeless. Can't find work. Going to take income Tax and go to Arizona, Dave's home state, and pray for something better.
I just hope I can get through this tornado season without a nervous breakdown. The sound of the sirons cause me panicattacks. I have been on meds for it but it doesn't stop the memeries.
Sounds like you have a bit of PTSD, talk to your MD about the panic attacks, my DH has to take Xanax for his.
I was out of it for about 6 weeks after the storm. Many of the things that I remember I wish I could forget.
Suppression causes many more problems than memories do. If your mind couldn't handle them, the memories would be suppressed until your mind was ready. Go easy on yourself.
I was in a F5 as a toddler, still hate winds. There is nothing to do but hide, hold on, wait and hope. Good luck to you and yours.
It will take time to get past it. It gets easier but it just takes time. And sometimes something can set you off unexpectedly. I'm glad you found this group and hope things settle down for you.
Same thing happened to me when I was 12. F5 from one end of town to the other. I stood outside and watched it.
It takes years as a person to get over that and many more for a town to rebuild.
I am sorry. It is so hard.