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irisblue

(32,929 posts)
Tue May 2, 2017, 03:43 PM May 2017

I got an invitation to a party. Introvert alert.

I also have sufficient time to think & write the "introvert alert" through. Still it is unusual for me to think about going, rather then an automatically declining. Advice welcomed.

8 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I got an invitation to a party. Introvert alert. (Original Post) irisblue May 2017 OP
Go. Have fun. Bring a book just in case. n/t PoliticAverse May 2017 #1
It makes a big difference if you know most of the people there Warpy May 2017 #2
Since there is some degree of interest in attending... MedusaX May 2017 #3
Plan to enjoy yourself, and chia May 2017 #4
Welcome to DU. Nice to meet you. irisblue May 2017 #5
Thank you, and it's a pleasure to meet you, too. chia May 2017 #6
well how did it go? dembotoz May 2017 #7
Tonight irisblue May 2017 #8

Warpy

(111,155 posts)
2. It makes a big difference if you know most of the people there
Tue May 2, 2017, 04:12 PM
May 2017

It also helps if you have a drink or two but not enough to turn you into an ass.

Go. Make the best of it. Keep your friends. Hope there's a cat or dog in residence, they can be restful when you're talked out.

MedusaX

(1,129 posts)
3. Since there is some degree of interest in attending...
Tue May 2, 2017, 04:28 PM
May 2017

Give it a shot...
But put some time, between now & the event, into making it as "safe" of an experience as possible....

For me, that means mentally walking through all of the potential discomforts that may present themselves and devising a game plan...

Public location?
Check it out beforehand.... being familiar with the physical layout helps increase feelings of being in control...

Arrival/ Departure....
I always arrive early if there will be a lot of attention given to guests as they arrive...
This way there will be fewer observers when I arrive... especially if I am the 1st one there!

This also adds strength to feelings of 'control' and 'belonging there'
And allows me to select a seat/table/ area that is not already partially occupied....
Reduces possibilities of necessary rejection - which often occurs if you ask to sit at table but seats are 'saved' or 'spoken for'

I also like to identify an exit route and position myself in close proximity... in case I get overwhelmed at any point and need to just disappear....

And of course... always have your own entertainment/ company in the form of a book, notebook, etc....


Your "social discomfort areas" may be different than mine... but the process of proactively addressing those concerns and having a plan to deal with them is universally applicable....

It is amazing the difference that is made by some of the simplest things... like successfully avoiding excessive attention by arriving before everyone else..
I hope that you do give it a shot... and that it is a successful experience ---

chia

(2,244 posts)
4. Plan to enjoy yourself, and
Tue May 2, 2017, 05:09 PM
May 2017

if you have your exit plan (and excuse) in order, it may give you the strength to last longer than you expected, which is always a nice surprise.

dembotoz

(16,785 posts)
7. well how did it go?
Sat May 6, 2017, 03:08 PM
May 2017

pure social events horrify me
but if i can figure a business or political angle i can usually force up enough guts to go.

not that i have a good time mind you....

irisblue

(32,929 posts)
8. Tonight
Sat May 6, 2017, 04:01 PM
May 2017

I'm taking the advice up thread and I will make sure my car isn't blocked in. Thanks for asking

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