So, Christmas was a downer

[left-of-center2012]

I’m 71, disabled, don’t get out much except to one of my doctors, to the grocery, and drugstore for my meds. Living like this I’ve become quite a hermit with no one nearby ~ the few relatives or friends living out of state.

About 22 years ago I converted to Buddhism. One major reason was how my evangelical right wing siblings had treated me for much of my life;
my thinking being that if that’s how “Christians” behave, I needed a different path.

When I converted to Buddhism, they told me I’ll burn in Hell while they party in Heaven (I’m unsure how evangelicals party) and cut off contact with me for about 10 years. Just kicked me out, disowned me.
We slowly regained contact over time, and did not discuss religion or politics (they love Trump).

Each Christmas for some years they would send me a very religious Christian Christmas card,
and I would send them maybe a card with a snowman wishing them a Merry Christmas.

This year I got nothing from them. I felt it coming, as during the past year they have not replied to my emails, or returned my phone calls, etc.

I guess I made the mistake in telling them that I had arranged for my cremated ashes to be sent to a Buddhist temple in California for the scattering of my remains (along with a small religious service).
Previously a niece was going to scatter my ashes, but over time I became concerned that they were planning a Christian burial.

Apparently sending my remains to a Buddhist temple is grounds for my excommunication (again) from my family.

I and my two remaining siblings are in our seventies.
Doubtful any of us will change in what time we have left.

Well Hell, after all, they are my ashes!
Still, it would have been nice to have received a card from them.
(I did mail cards to them)

Sorry for boring y’all, but I needed to vent.

[msongs]

1. thanks for sharing that. the world is full of such people. all things must pass, including us nt

[rusty quoin]

2. I wish you happy holidays.

I would rather know a guy like you than most anybody. You are not alone. You talk to me anytime.

[cilla4progress]

3. Im sorry your family has their

Heads screwed on wrong. You belong here. And you have every right to do as you wish with your ashes!

[Laffy Kat]

4. Sorry,LoC,.

There are many of us out here so much like you in spirit and we are all connected. Even if you feel alone, you are not. We are here.

[Lint Head]

5. I still have "some" family left. Mom, Dad and my only sister

are dead. I think about people in your situation every holiday season. I wish I knew people in my community who had no one and would accept an invitation to celebrate but most people like that are hermits too and are secretive. Tending to want to be left alone.

[Marie Marie]

6. I think your plans for your ashes sound wonderful and

more importantly, they sound absolutely right for you and your beliefs. I'm sure that many of your DU family here support your decision.

[onecaliberal]

7. I think they should respect your wishes, instead of judging you. Thats what Christians seem to best

at doing, even though the Bible says God is the judge.

So sorry for what you’re feeling.

[TygrBright]

8. Kind of ironic that on "their" holiday, your beliefs motivated you...

...to reach out for connection, and theirs inspired them to disconnect.

In any case, you ARE connected, in spite of the physical isolation and your family's rejection, to all who share the sense of oneness of being, the value of life and caring for one another on this earth.

Thank you for reaching out here. Feeling somewhat disconnected myself, this holiday, but you've reminded me that connection isn't just about family greetings and physical nearness.

Your plans for your earthly remains sound like yet more connection and affirmation of what matters.

Mail cards whenever you feel like it, regardless of whether they reciprocate.

It's what The Buddha would do...

appreciatively,
Bright

[C Moon]

9. I'll mail you a non-religious card every year. What a couple of jerks.

Happy New Year!

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

10. Do not waste any more time of however much you have left

worrying about these people. Live your life as you want to.

[gay texan]

11. Well where are you in the world?

If there's a possibility I could pop in for a visit

[SeaDoo77]

12. My Wife Is A Buddhist

SGI

I still follow the teachings of Christ, so this makes me a non-christian.....

[delisen]

13. Good to Hear From You.

Would like to know more about your conversion.

[TxDemChem]

14. Very sorry to hear your family behaves so cruelly

I wish you a wonderful holiday season and maybe next year, things will be at least a little better.

[Skittles]

15. someone is always here on DU, left-of-center2012

talk to us

we won't judge you like those folk do

wishing you a Happy New Year

[peacebuzzard]

16. Wishing you, and recipients of only commercial greetings a peaceful new year

I received one mailed card, from an attorney I used 3 years ago.
Presents sent: 1, to my sister’s senior dog.
I holiday tipped a few special workers and laborers.
That’s it. I like low key holidays.

ps: your final decisions are yours alone. It is certainly a dilemma, nonetheless. I am facing those very scenarios at this stage in my life, I am also a senior with limited time. I wish you much strength and peace.

[left-of-center2012]

17. "I like low key holidays"

I once saw, and bought, a "Happy Groundhog's Day" card.

(I went to junior high in Punxsutawney, PA 60 years ago)

[peacebuzzard]

19. Is that where they report on the groundhog coming above ground?

I love those critters!
I was so disturbed a neighbor shot a groundhog on my property that was visiting his garden. I don’t have speaking terms with my neighbors either.

[left-of-center2012]

21. Yes, Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog

Much of the area around Punxsutawney is farmland and groundhogs eat and damage crops.
It's not unusual for people to hunt and eat groundhogs.

[Nictuku]

18. I'm leaning towards Buddhism

I've not been any particular flavor of religion throughout my life, but I respect all religions and the ability for a free people to make their own choices.

Recently I watch (on Netflix) "Buddha" (55 Episodes!) which covered the Life of Buddha from his birth to his death. I now have a new respect for his teachings, and realize that many of my own beliefs are similar. (non-violence, compassion, Living in the Now)

I can't say I'm a Buddhist exactly, (I have not mastered the ability to meditate - although in my love of nature and spending as much time in the wilderness as I can, I think this is my own way of meditating).

I've not been able to become vegan (I'm so there morally, but problematically, I really do enjoy eating meat. What a dilemma), and I really enjoy my cocktail after a 13 hour workday..... but I do feel that having compassion for people, and animals, is one of the most important things in life.

At any rate, I was a Pier 1 shopping for Christmas presents for my family, and I came across a Buddha statue. It was inexpensive, and so I bought it for myself. Turns out when I went to the checkout, it was one of two! (bookends), so I gave one of them to my mom. For Christmas. I love the irony in that. She loved it by the way.

[left-of-center2012]

20. There are many types of Buddhism and Buddhist

Just as there are a wide variety of Christians,
from Roman Catholic to Southern Baptists to Methodists, etc,
there are various branches of Buddhism.
(Three main ones)

I'm Jōdo Shinshū Buddhist, which I think of as "Buddhism for the common man".

I, rightly or wrongly, compare Tibetan Buddhism and all it's rituals to the Catholic church,
and Shin Buddhism to a small Methodist church.

Not all Buddhists are vegan, and not all refrain from alcohol.

As in everything, it's important to find the belief that best fits you.

[WhiteTara]

22. So you have been a practicing Buddhist

for the past 22 years? That is wonderful. I'm sure by now you have established your daily practice. Those wonderful days on end of solitude is your retreat and by taking this wonderful advantage time, you can really open yourself to your true Buddha nature.

I study and practice the 59 Lojongs as a guide to life. Right now I'm working on maintaining a joyful mind even though through great stupidity I literally lost a sum of money. I could despair because of the loss, but I am taking it as a life lesson instead.

I guess what I'm saying is don't despair over human relationships. We have all been each other's mother throughout the eons of our samsaric existence. Take those feeling of loss and loneliness and breathe them in deeply and hold them, knowing that every single sentient being on this planet has those same feelings, and then breathe out all the love and caring and nurturing feelings to all of them who are just like you (are even you in reality) and give them the comfort and nourishment that you crave and you will feel your loneliness and despair dissipate.

https://thebuddhafultao.wordpress.com/2012/07/04/the-59-slogans-of-lojong/
Om Mani Padme Hum

The following is is a Buddhist Prayer:

May All Beings Be Safe
May All Beings Be Healed
May All Beings Know Peace