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2016 Postmortem
Related: About this forumTanned, Exquisitely Coiffed Bernie Sanders Tells Supporters Corporations Actually Have A Lot 2 Offer
DAVENPORT, IAExpounding upon the many ways in which theyve positively impacted the country at large, a tanned and impeccably coiffed Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) reportedly informed supporters gathered at a campaign stop Thursday that corporations actually have a tremendous amount to offer the American people. Businesses both large and small play a vital role in our society, creating good jobs and pumping billions back into the economy, and corporations are just the largest and most successful of these businessesand certainly we shouldnt punish success, said the presidential hopeful, adjusting the alligator-skin band on his diamond-encrusted Bulgari watch as he elaborated on the ways in which publicly held companies in the financial, telecommunications, and oil and gas sectors have spurred growth and development in communities across the country. And when you think about it, these companies arent just some faceless entitiestheyre our neighbors, our family members, and our friends, all working together to make America the truly great nation it is. At press time, Sanders could be seen smiling and waving from the stairs leading up to a brand-new Gulfstream personal jet before heading off to a private fundraiser at Sheldon Adelsons estate.
http://www.theonion.com/article/tanned-exquisitely-coiffed-bernie-sanders-tells-su-50589
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Tanned, Exquisitely Coiffed Bernie Sanders Tells Supporters Corporations Actually Have A Lot 2 Offer (Original Post)
Rocky the Leprechaun
Feb 2016
OP
tazkcmo
(7,300 posts)1. LOL!!!!!!
That's one scary pic! I would immediately NOT vote for that guy! Damn you for putting that image in my head!
Also, congrats on your SB victory and wait till next year! Go Chefs(Not a typo)!!!
VulgarPoet
(2,872 posts)2. Man, y'all Onion posters really gotta stop near-giving me a heart attack.
eppur_se_muova
(36,259 posts)3. Tanned ?? They should have photoshopped him orange. nt
MuseRider
(34,105 posts)4. This is just GROSS!
At least this time I figured out it was The Onion. So often anymore their satire is way way way too close to the truth!
LOL, thanks for a morning giggle.