Dear media: Wanna have some fun?

[OilemFirchen]

Here are some sample questions you could ask of Trump surrogates. You've used this method quite successfully, and for quite some time, with the Clinton team, so it should be easy:

Is Trump's refusal to release his tax returns because he's hiding fraud, because he's illegally under-reported income, or because he's a member of an organized crime syndicate? Is it a combination of these crimes?

Is the Trump Foundation solely a slush fund for political bribes, or are there other criminal activities in which it's involved? Are those funds always commingled with Trump's personal accounts, or only on occasion?

Unnamed sources are suggesting that the FBI is looking into these allegations. When he's indicted, should he drop out of the race?

When do you expect these indictments? Weeks? Days?

As has been reported, there are strong allegations that Trump is working with Putin. Do you think he will be charged with treason? How many counts?

Who should replace Trump when he drops out? Should it be Dick Cheney? Can we risk that, given Cheney's heart condition? Do you have enough time and resources to get Cheney on the ballot in all fifty states? Who will be his running mate? Has he prepared for the debates? Will he run for reelection in 2020?

C'mon, press corps... go for it! Can you imagine the ratings?

[misterhighwasted]

1. "Is Trump part of an international crime organization with their sights on overthrowing the US Govt?

"He seemingly has ties with Vladimer Putin. Is this an international organized criminal enterprise that may or may not be laundering money through Trump's Foundation. Do you dispute all or any of these claims and please tell us to what degree."

Tapping fingers on desk. Waiting....
"Is their a problem giving an answer? Do you fear for your life should you reveal inside information?
Would you prefer to speak off camera to our reporter?"

[OilemFirchen]

2. Thaaaats the spirit.

Are the allegations that he's still having a sexual relationship with Ivanka true? If not, when did he stop?

[misterhighwasted]

3. "Can we expect to hear from any illegitimately purchased wives via Trump's Russian associates

..and can you elaborate on any illegitimate children from those foreign "relations"?
Are any of those illegitimate wives or children of Russian descent and if so are they the recipients of his Foundation's laundered money. Were the payments made in untraceable cash or perhaps real estate transfers?"

One more thing before we move on to our next concern.
Have Mr Trump and Mr Putin fathered any children from the same mother and how is that arrangement working out?
Have they remained in Russsia or have they been relocated to undisclosed locations to protect the global reputation of Mr. Trump and Mr Putin? Please elaborate."