2016 Postmortem
Related: About this forumThe Latest Attack: I’m a “Piece of Nose Slime”
Do you remember Joe the Plumber? If not, youre better off. But let me remind you because now Joe the Plumber is attacking me. Joe the Plumber recently called me a piece of nose slime. (Which, as a plumber, he may see a lot of.) Joe the Plumber also called me a dreg of society. (A dreg is the sediment in a liquid. So if anyone knows about dregs, its a plumber.) Joe the Plumber has now joined Bill OReilly, Allen West and Mike Huckabee in their recent attacks on me personally.
If disgusting political attacks like calling a Member of Congress a piece of nose slime make you feel ill, then click here, and give us the support we need to fight back.
By the way, Joe the Plumber is not named Joe, and hes not a plumber. If there were a way to belie the word the, Im sure that Joe the Plumber would do that, too.
His real name is Samuel Wurzelbacher. In 2008, he claimed that he was a plumber, working for A.W. Newell Corp. in Ohio. But in Ohio, plumbers are licensed, and Joe didnt have a license. So hes not a plumber. As Gov. Rick Perry might say, Oops.
Joe the Plumber made around $40,000 a year not doing his not-plumbing. In his Walter Mitty imagination, though, he somehow was going to buy Newell Corp. Newell has sales of up to $2.5 million a year, according to Manta.com. How could Joe the Plumber buy Newell Corp.? The same way that a sparrow devours an elephant, I guess.
Not-yet-President Obama came to Joe the Plumbers town of Toledo, Ohio, in 2008. At an Obama campaign event, Joe took that magical mental leap from personal failure to personal success, and told/lied/BSed Obama that Joe was getting ready to buy a company that makes $250,000 to $280,000 a year your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isnt it?
Joe the Plumber was getting ready to buy that company in much the same way as Kim Kardashian is getting ready to end the civil war in Syria. It could happen. But I doubt it.
Arent you sick of right-wing fakers like Joe the Plumber? Click here to show your support for the Member of Congress whose bumper sticker reads: Grayson. Truth.
Anyway, Candidate Obama gave Joe the Plumber a substantive analysis of how Joes non-purchase of Joes non-plumbing business would affect Joes non-income and Joes non-taxes. Obama then added that Obamas tax plan was necessary in order to reduce taxes on the middle class, which would add customers to Joes non-business. As Candidate Obama put it: My attitude is that if the economys good for folks from the bottom up, its going to be good for everybody. If youve got a plumbing business, youre going to be better off . . . if youve got a whole bunch of customers who can afford to hire you. Right now, everybodys so pinched that business is bad for everybody. I think that if you spread the wealth around, its good for everybody.
You may recall the shock and horror which the right-wing noise machine manufactured over the concept that if you spread the wealth around, its good for everybody. The same shock and horror that the right-wing noise machine manufactured over President Obamas statement in 2012 that if youve been successful, you didnt get there on your own. (Props to Sen. Elizabeth Warren.) History repeats itself first as tragedy, and second as farce. (To quote someone else who, by coincidence, also wrote about spreading the wealth.)
Back the first time, in 2008, Joe the Plumber jumped, with both feet, into the ensuing distortion-fest. He said that the Presidents answer would put us one step closer to socialism. He said that the answer showed that our first African-American President could tap dance . . . almost as good as Sammy Davis, Jr. He said that he could never support Obama, because of questions about Obamas loyalty to our country.
For Fox News and Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck, a star was born. A dim, dopey, dense, doltish and deficient star, but a star nonetheless.
Joe the Plumber gave up his non-plumbing career, and became a motivational speaker. His talk consists of witty observations like asking why Senator Chris Dodd hasnt been strung up yet. If youve ever actually listened to him, you know that his audience surely feels motivated to learn proper grammar.
Here are some of Joe the Plumbers more recent bon mots:
(1) Joe says that both the Holocaust and the Armenian Genocide were caused by gun control.
(2) Joe says that the way to stem illegal immigration is going to Mexico, and start shooting.
(3) Joe says that he would not let anyone who is actually homosexual near his children.
You might think that no one would listen to a schmo like this, but you would be wrong. In fact, Joe the Plumbers website has drawn over one million visitors in a month. His website is one-stop shopping for anyone looking for folly, inanity, imbecility, dementia and lunacy. Not to mention constructive criticism, like calling me a piece of nose slime and a dreg of society.
And thats really the heart of the matter. Not that Joe the Plumber calls me a piece of nose slime and a dreg of society, but that upwards of one million Tea Party stooges hear those words, and are poised to try to defeat me in November. Which is why I need your help, to fight back.
Not-Joe the Not-Plumber probably is upset with me because when he ran for Congress in 2012, we exposed his twaddle, and we raised $10,000 for his successful Democratic opponent. Meaning that Joe the Plumbers promising political career as a Tea Party icon went down the drain. Which is exactly what Not-Joe wants to do to us.
Monday marks our FEC report cut-off date. We are under attack. Its time for us to circle the wagons, and return fire. I need your help, and I need it now. We need to hire canvassers, collect petitions, set up phone banks and hand out campaign literature right away. Every dollar counts. Our deadline is midnight on Monday. Please contribute today.
Courage,
Rep. Alan Grayson
P.S. You may have heard this before, but the best way to help our campaign is to make monthly contributions. So please click here to contribute $20.14 each month. Help us fight back.
Whisp
(24,096 posts)Arkana
(24,347 posts)That insult is oddly specific. Piece of "nose slime"? Why didn't he just call you a booger?
Sunlei
(22,651 posts)what you personally will do as a member of Congress.
I don't think it's a good idea to make a 'battle of words with some tea party big mouth' any part of your campaign.
yellowcanine
(35,699 posts)It may be a nose slime to you but to the rest of us it is a snot booger.
In response, I would say it takes one to know one.