I have a request

[BainsBane]

In fact I'm pretty ticked off about this. I don't appreciate logging on to a "safe haven" for feminists to be hit in the face with two threads with offensive slurs in their titles.

I request people use more discretion. It's possible to discuss these topics without using the word so prominently. I have now trashed two threads in HOF because of this.

That particular word is the most offensive one in the English language to refer to women. I ask people to use greater care when discussing it. Please don't write it out in the damn title of the OP.

[seaglass]

1. I agree with you BB. I haven't trashed but I cringe every time I come into the group. n/t

[CTyankee]

2. I am surprised to see it used also...

Last edited Sat May 17, 2014, 07:18 PM - Edit history (1)

its etymology notwithstanding, it is shocking to see it and read it. It needs to be abandoned.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

3. Totally understand and respect your feelings.

[BainsBane]

6. Thank you, TA.

[niyad]

4. and those two threads stand? why am I not surprised?

[BainsBane]

5. I don't alert on fellow HOF posters

Instead, I am requesting they exercise some sensitivity.

[niyad]

7. I know you don't alert--but the fact that two people thought it was acceptable is

discouraging, to say the least.

[BainsBane]

8. Agreed.

[Squinch]

9. I'm with you. I suspect that at least one of those posters used the word so as to

discuss the issue of the threads elsewhere and didn't mean offense, but it is still a word that brings up horrible experiences and bad feelings.

When it is used here in the US, , it's only intent is to make sure the woman being addressed knows that she is valued less than meat. We have all had experiences with it. By definition, those experiences are always bad.

I wish the titles would be changed and the threads locked by the posters so that they sink.

[BainsBane]

10. They could easily edit the titles

The reason people are discussing the word is precisely because it is so offensive. The idea that someone would find it jarring to look in the recent HOF threads to see TWO such titles shouldn't surprise the people who wrote those OPs. I'm not saying they shouldn't discuss the issue or that it's out of line to use the word somewhere in their posts, but to broadcast it in subject lines is too much.

[Squinch]

11. When I look at my reaction

to it, I am always surprised at the way it makes me cringe, and it immediately brings up such fury in me. I don't have that response to any other word.

It is the devaluation. As I say, at least one of those posters I don't think meant offense, but that only shows the divergence of experience between the sexes around the ways that one can be told that one is valueless.

I agree. The titles should be edited.

[CTyankee]

12. To me, one of the biggest problems with the word is that it is so grotesque...

that is the only word I can use to describe it. It has become this strange, hideously grotesque word that seemingly arises from a swamp. So I hear it and I say to myself "that's weird. That cannot be what I just heard..."

[Squinch]

13. ....or "That cannot be what I just read"

I am thinking I'll trash.

[theHandpuppet]

14. Okay, I'll grant that I'm an older woman

So I have to admit that to me, the world could do with a few antiquated notions like common courtesy and manners. Call me old-fashioned, but it seems that vulgarity has become the norm and there appears to be a cultural contest to see who outdo one another in a dive into the gutter. I'm just so tired of it.

[CTyankee]

15. Yeah, me too. I'm pretty old myself and I don't like it.

I've got granddaughters, fer gawd's sake. I'd like to hand them a better world. But I know they had better be prepared to fight for what they have, if not more. I try to tell them but...they are a little too young to get it...I keep trying...

[brer cat]

18. +1.

I also think the acceptance and frequent use of those words devalues our young women, and it starts at a very early age. My granddaughters were hearing it even before middle school. I try to let them know how special they are, how valued as part of the community only to have them knocked down by such trash talk. How can they feel good about themselves?

[ismnotwasm]

16. The word doesn't bother me

But your request is quite reasonable given the large numbers of people it does bother-- additionally, it's a potential trigger word.

[CTyankee]

17. I know. the word, etymoligcally is not the problem. It's the common usage now.

But, you know, it doesn't hurt to add a bit of gloss on why we as feminists object to the word. It is not the word all by itself, it is the interpretation of it, and its usage, by misogynists...and that's what matters...

[ismnotwasm]

25. Exactly

I'd DU could have a full on discussion (not an argument) we would see people get uncomfortable as we grew closer to the truth-- that the current use of the word is to degrade women, no more, no less. There would be the invariable comparisons to the words "dick" or Prick"-- which have nowhere near the the emotional impact, or meaning.

I'm not the language police, but examining words is a fascinating process. The other thing I find fascinating is people trying to claim that words have no real power--that just leaves me shaking my head.

[CTyankee]

26. the medical term for a woman's external genitalia is "pudenda," meaning "shameful thing".

sexist terminology is part of this problem...

[ismnotwasm]

27. We use 'genital'

For both sexes-- could vary from state to state though. Sometimes the assessment it will just say 'Gyn' or 'Urogenital'

[CTyankee]

28. Great! Retire the term "pudenda" for all time!

Next up we deal with art history terminology, that has such a pose as "Venus Pudenda."

?w=640&h=400

[boston bean]

19. I hear what you are saying, but I don't think that when discussing the word itself

and it's usage that we ought to sugarcoat anything.

It's how and when the word is used in a derogatory, inflammatory, misogynistic manner is when it is most offensive.

Reason I feel this way, especially on DU is because it limits ways in which feminists can get their point across. For example I've had posts hidden for not starring out bitch. I wasn't calling anyone a bitch, I was discussing the usage of the word. While posts that actually call persons a bitch are allowed to stand. I'm just not playing that game.

[BainsBane]

20. It's possible to do that

within the body of the post rather than smacking people in the face with it in the title. I sign on this morning and see the word shouting at me from two separate threads: if feels just like I've been called the name.

Also, I don't think it helps convince others that the word shouldn't be used if people are throwing it around here so easily.

[boston bean]

21. I'm going to disagree. Not that I don't understand.

In the written word when calling it out, it absolutely brings the point home much clearer. Context makes a big difference.

I personally am not offended when the word is spelled out in this context.

[BainsBane]

23. If HoF is going to turn into a excuse to

throw around words to demean women, It isn't going to be a safe space for me or some others.

If I have to trash it, so be it.

[boston bean]

24. Really, that is what you think is happening here?

HoF is now a place where words are thrown around to demean women?

I don't think so.