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Mon Aug 3, 2015, 12:20 PM

Problems you never knew you had

What's wrong with your vagina? A lot apparently. Fortunately for us, medical science and Big Pharma have come up with a range of solutions to our imperfections. Perusing the list, my reaction to many of the listed issues was "just take a shower." My shower, however, is not enough to combat this egregious defect:

6. Problem: Your Vagina Is the Wrong Color

Solution: Vaginal Bleaching and Dying

Many women are under the impression that it's OK to have a vagina colored vagina. They're wrong, of course. They should be pink, and exceptionally so. What's a woman with a vagina colored vagina to do? Bleach it. Accomoclitic Laser and Wax Studio in Lakewood, Colorado, purveyors of an anal bleaching product called "Pink Wink," also sell something called Bleach Babe, a cream that promises to do away with the "natural discoloration surrounding the exterior of the vagina." Bleach Babe contains Kojic acid, the same ingredient that keeps salmon meat pink. South Beach Solutions sells a similar lightening product with Sodium hydroxide, which can also be found in drain decloggers and septic tank cleansers.

If bleaching fails to render your vagina the color of a Barbie Dream House, you can try My New Pink Button, billed as a "Genital Cosmetic Colorant that restores the "Pink" back to woman's genitals." Because vaginas that aren't vibrantly pink are old and sad. My New Pink Button is meant to be painted onto the vagina (it comes in powder form and must be scooped up with a moist Q-tip like device) and lasts 48 to 72 hours. After which, one supposes, users must reapply in order to maintain the youthful status of their genitals.


No comment about those women for whom pink doesn't quite coordinate with the rest of their skin. For other problems besides the absence of a youthful, rosy glow, see:

http://www.motherjones.com/riff/2010/02/6-weirdest-things-women-do-their-vaginas

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Arrow 9 replies Author Time Post
Reply Problems you never knew you had (Original post)
BainsBane Aug 2015 OP
JustAnotherGen Aug 2015 #1
freshwest Aug 2015 #2
JustAnotherGen Aug 2015 #5
Left coast liberal Aug 2015 #3
ismnotwasm Aug 2015 #4
JustAnotherGen Aug 2015 #6
BainsBane Aug 2015 #7
JustAnotherGen Aug 2015 #8
smirkymonkey Aug 2015 #9

Response to BainsBane (Original post)

Mon Aug 3, 2015, 01:17 PM

1. I - no - I don't know

What to do with this.

File this one under yet another insane beauty regimen and stupid thing to worry about.

I mean seriously -

Whoooooooooo thought this up?

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Response to JustAnotherGen (Reply #1)

Mon Aug 3, 2015, 03:47 PM

2. Same people who think this is cool?



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Response to freshwest (Reply #2)

Tue Aug 4, 2015, 02:52 AM

5. That's sick!

Yuck!

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Response to BainsBane (Original post)

Mon Aug 3, 2015, 05:10 PM

3. This is some sick @#$%&.

Girls! Leave your VJJs be!

Just fine, the way they are!

Ok, enough silliness but now I have heard it all.

Sheesh...

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Response to BainsBane (Original post)

Mon Aug 3, 2015, 06:49 PM

4. Yeah it's on the top of "Dumb things to do to your body" list

And the social pressure that somehow drives it is sick.

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Response to ismnotwasm (Reply #4)

Tue Aug 4, 2015, 02:53 AM

6. The thing is

Ive never been socially pressured to do these things! Who are these women? And how do they have this much time on their hands?

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Response to JustAnotherGen (Reply #6)

Tue Aug 4, 2015, 01:06 PM

7. I think this stuff comes from porn

and young guys who grow up watching internet porn.

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Response to BainsBane (Reply #7)

Tue Aug 4, 2015, 02:18 PM

8. So - I guess

The young boys then influence the young women?

We all need to 'adopt' a young woman and let her know to focus on that which she and accomplish and not what her vajayjay looks like.

Seriously- I have a theory - if a man is in 'that moment' and he's turned off because lady town isn't vajazzled then he needs to be tossed away. Seriously - what MAN - supposed grown assed man is worrying about this?

My words are 'cautious' so as to not offend any passing MRAs.

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Response to BainsBane (Original post)

Tue Aug 18, 2015, 08:50 PM

9. Yeah, I guess I must be getting old, because I was never aware that this was a problem.

Along with butthole bleaching, which is also something I have recently learned about.

Seriously?! WFT is up with this shit? How unnatural do women have to become to be acceptable to men these days. I have been celibate for years by choice because I have just become so disgusted and fed up. Honestly, it doesn't seem like much of a sacrifice.

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