That photo brought it out for me.
She has always been a fighter, tough, intense and forceful. I admired her back in 1993 and thought what the Republicans did to her was terrible. She must have suffered a great deal after all of that work, showing her high intellect and problem-solving and program-creating intellect. And she did it unpaid...as the spouse of the new President.
She has taken more grief than most, yes she's put herself in that position a lot, but that's what smart and committed people do.
But the political winds were changing and it seems like she may have had to make some "agreements" to continue her quest for recognition of her worth and yes, power. Any of us over about 30 (remember when we said everyone over 30 was old? LOL) know what it's like to not have all your dreams come true...to face reality which is often dismal. And to have to either go somewhat with the flow, or park the canoe on the bank. It is called Life...what happens while we are making other plans.
She went from adored First Lady, to the Scorned Woman and the nation was split, and not so silent on whether she should stay or leave him. Impeachment of her husband...how humiliating. Then there was the highly significant but seemingly insignificant issue about baking cookies. She had to be politically coerced to use the Clinton name...she had always gone by Hillary Rodham.
Meanwhile, she's a fiercely protective mother. She probably knew for a long time about Bill, but they were married (to some that's a sacred bond) and she stayed (maybe because of the power).
She lost her first attempt as Democratic Nominee. Out of nowhere, a challenge came forth, as she watched her chances fade away. It was ugly...the PUMAs. In retrospect, I think that's when she started to change. She began her overdrive for her own political identity with the New York Senate. I felt she was a Carpetbagger, as did many, but he tapped her for SOS. She did a reasonably good job.
She felt ready to be President and had to wait 8 years, and had ample reason to feel that way and many supporting her. Then came the Foundation and the personal and business relationships with the very wealthy. She had to sell out, I'm sure, a number of times and still does. But that's how the game was played by all of her mentors and peers.
Come this political cycle, she was basically the only Democrat who showed up. If you are the only one, you're likely the inevitable nominee. Others may have considered, but felt she was better qualified and did not want to take the chance. Many, including herself, saw her as the First US Woman President and liked the concept. That's a heady vision and accomplishment.
Then along came Bernie...little known, scruffy crumdugeon from some cold NE state. As it's told, even he didn't think he stood a chance, but he took the chance...starting at virtually point Zero.
And people began to listen, and on and on until now, it's neck and neck. And she's feeling deja vu all over again. All of those years, that experience, the long days and nights of toughing it out in every sense, now in jeopardy...and for what? To go help Chelsea run The Foundation and be a good abuela? No more 6 figure speeches. The crown jewel...the Presidency...slipping through yet again.
I feel for her...I respect her, even though she's had to do a level of personal and political sell-out most would not need to do and yes, partly because of her gender. Any woman in her mid to upper 60s (and the men who loved us) knows how we had to bridge that gap from a patriarchal society to get a foot in here and there...and we're still not there yet. My final course for my BA was a "new course"...Feminism in the 21st Century, or something like that. No, I didn't burn my bra, but I was a young person in the 60s.
I also get how it's possible to be perturbed by young women who have no idea how hard it was to compete, to be listened to or even acknowledged. Their challenges are difficult, but different.
"Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were both gifted dancers, except Ginger had to do it backward and in high heels."
But, unfortunately for her...and maybe it's her Karma...but I think it will not be a dream come true. I also do not think she will end her quest were she to fail to ascend to the Presidency. I believe what she does next will be important, as she is extremely talented and capable and upwardly mobile. I cannot imagine the inner failure she will experience, or how it will shape her future. Yet, it still could happen and if it does, I'll be happy for her. She will do a good job, I believe.
If you got this far, thanks. It's not a well-crafted essay. I just felt I needed to work out some ambiguities as I'm a staunch Bernie supporter, but far from disliking Hillary. She could change that for a lot of people if she starts to fling shit around. No passes for that. But she's a Democrat, she has paid her dues, and if Bernie isn't our Nominee, I'll vote for her in the GE.
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