Ice Bucket Challenge Video Update

An absolute moral outrage -- HOW DARE THEY

charge $16.99!



But seriously, folks, here's the backstory:

The NFL Buffalo Bills football team is for sale. Rock star Jon Bon Jovi has always wanted to own an NFL team -- he owned the Philadelphia Soul arena football team for a while. Amid rumors that he's ready to retire from making music, he has partnered with Larry Tanenbaum, owner of the Tornoto Maple Leafs hockey team, and Edward Rogers III of the Toronto-based Rogers media conglomerate.

The key word there being "Toronto."

Buffalo New York and Toronto Ontario are 100 miles apart around the western rim of Lake Ontario, and Buffalo Bills fans are VERY nervous about the team being moved if Bon Jovi and his Toronto-based partners succeed in buying it. They're so nervous, in fact, they've organized a Buffalo Fans Alliance and gotten the band's music banned from local venues and radio stations. Why? Because they rightfully suspect that Jon would be running the team in name only: While Jon's net worth is estimated at 350 million dollars, Tanenbaum's is at $1.78 billion and Rogers' at $7.6 billion: their AVERAGE net worth exceeds Jon's a dozen times over.

It's obvious why Tanenbaum needs Rogers: he doesn't have the additional operating capital that would be needed. It's obvious why Rogers needs Tanenbaum: he doesn't have Tanenbaum's experience in running a major league sports franchise. It's obvious why Jon needs Rogers and Tanenbaum: As a "mere" millionaire, he won't have ANY operating capital to contribute once he puts up his share of the franchise fee (the current bid is alleged to be $1.2 billion) which would require converting every cent of his net worth into to cash and paying off all his debts. But why do Tanenbaum and Rogers need Jon? As far as the Bills fans are concerned, Jon is to be the American crowbar with which his partners will pry the Bills out of Buffalo, since he wouldn't have the money or the power to stop them.

There's a lease deal where the Bills would have to stay through the 2020 season. But it would be easy to run the team into the ground by then: All the "Toronto Brothers" would have to do is cut Jon off financially. Between that and his "inexperience" as an NFL team owner, his partners would be left with no recourse but to "replace" him and restore the franchise's financial viability by moving the team to Toronto!

Thus, the T-shirt. While Jon may be too starry-eyed to see what his partners have the potential to do to him (ironic much?), I think it makes him more like a innocent babe in the woods than a genocidal dictatorial despot. And since his entire band are public figures, I think a visit from the FBI is in order: a $16.99 price tag is a crime indeed!


rocktivity

If the late Mister Macho McBadAss had utilized a little anger management

by staying in his car, he and Stewart might have been able to settle things over a beer.

Better quality video:

Singer sued for being too mediocre and unattractive for Pink cover band

MTV got to be too much about television and too little about music

Because it was music you saw, you started seeing too many good videos of less-than-good songs. Looks became more important than talent, forcing MTV to subsist on constantly reinventing itself visually -- why do you think Madonna became its patron saint? The beginning of the end was when the VJs, most of whom had actual backgrounds in music, were replaced with "personalities," which culminated in the Village Voice describing the MTV News host (a veteran Rolling Stone reporter) as being "the only person MTV hired because he had a brain." So it was doomed right out of the gate.